梦想— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and complete your idea. Begin with a clear topic sentence, give one specific supporting detail, and finish the thought. Avoid vague endings and make sure verb tenses and pronouns are correct.

範例: Yes, I can remember some of my dreams. For example, I dreamed that my crush congratulated me before my nursing licensure exam, which felt surreal and gave me confidence that I would pass. That dream made me feel calmer before the test.

建議: Start with a direct answer, then give one or two specific reasons using linking words. Avoid informal fillers like 'ha ha ha' and correct small grammar points (possessive, article usage).

範例: Sometimes I share my dreams, especially when they are funny because they can make people laugh. However, I am usually less interested in hearing other people's dreams because I tend to focus on my own thoughts.

建議: Give a clear direct opinion, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' but avoid repeating similar phrases.

範例: Yes, I sometimes believe dreams have special meanings because they can feel like revelations or warnings. For example, I once dreamed about being late for work and it made me leave earlier the next day, which prevented me from missing an important meeting.

建議: Answer directly and use consistent tense. Provide a clear reason and a concise example. Distinguish between literal dreams and personal goals if needed.

範例: Yes, I often want my dreams to come true, especially if they involve success for me and my family because those outcomes would improve our lives. However, I would not want dreams that involve harming others to become real.

× Sometimes I can remember the dreams that I had, but sometimes I don't.

✓ Sometimes I can remember the dreams I had, but sometimes I don't.

Remove the unnecessary relative pronoun 'that' after 'dreams' for natural English. The tense is present ability 'can remember' referring to past dreams; keep 'had' is acceptable but 'I had' can be shortened to 'I had' without 'that'. Suggestion: say 'I can remember the dreams I had' or 'I can remember my dreams' for conciseness.

× However, one of the dreams that I can remember was when my crush had congratulated me before I took the board exam for Philippine nursing licensure.

✓ However, one of the dreams I can remember was when my crush congratulated me before I took the board exam for the Philippine nursing licensure.

Use simple past 'congratulated' instead of past perfect 'had congratulated' because the sequence of events is clear (crush congratulated before 'I took' which is also simple past). Also include the definite article 'the' before 'Philippine nursing licensure' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: use simple past for completed past events when order is clear.

× It was a pretty surreal moment because it kind of gave me a revelation that I will.

✓ It was a pretty surreal moment because it kind of felt like a revelation about my future.

The original 'gave me a revelation that I will' is incomplete and ungrammatical. Replace with a complete clause: 'felt like a revelation about my future' conveys intended meaning. Suggestion: ensure clauses are complete and verbs have objects or complements.

× I sometimes share my dreams with others, especially if it's funny and it could bring everyone some good laugh.

✓ I sometimes share my dreams with others, especially if they're funny and could bring everyone a good laugh.

Use plural 'they're' to agree with 'dreams' and 'a good laugh' is the correct collocation. Remove redundant 'it' before 'could'. Suggestion: match subject plurality and use common phrases like 'a good laugh'.

× However, sometimes I also don't and I am not that interested in others dreams because I am more interested in my own ha ha ha.

✓ However, sometimes I don't, and I'm not that interested in other people's dreams because I'm more interested in my own.

Use contraction 'I'm' for natural speech and 'other people's dreams' is the correct possessive form rather than 'others dreams'. Remove 'ha ha ha' from formal correction; if keeping laughter, use '(ha ha ha)' separately. Suggestion: use possessive form for 'other people'.

× Sometimes I do think the dreams have special meanings because I believe they are some kind of a revelation or a vision so that we could have an idea of what will happen in the future or kind of a warning for us.

✓ Sometimes I do think dreams have special meanings because I believe they are a kind of revelation or vision that could give us an idea of what might happen in the future, or serve as a warning.

Remove unnecessary 'the' before 'dreams' for general statements, simplify 'some kind of a revelation' to 'a kind of revelation or vision'. Use 'could' or 'might' for future possibility rather than 'will' which is too certain. Improve parallel structure with 'give us an idea' and 'serve as a warning'. Suggestion: use modal 'could/might' for uncertain future and clean parallel phrasing.

× Sometimes, yes. Most of the time I wanted my dreams to come true if it's something that is a success story for me and my family.

✓ Sometimes, yes. Most of the time I want my dreams to come true if it's something that would be a success for me and my family.

Mixing past 'wanted' with present 'it's' is inconsistent. Use present 'want' to match 'Most of the time' as a habitual preference. Use 'would be a success' to express potential outcome. Suggestion: keep tense consistent for habitual statements and use conditional 'would' for hypothetical outcomes.

× However, if it's something that is a mischief, then I probably wouldn't want to wish it to come true.

✓ However, if it's something mischievous, then I probably wouldn't want it to come true.

'Something that is a mischief' is awkward; use adjective 'mischievous' or phrase 'a bad thing'. Also remove redundant 'wish' with 'want it to come true' — 'wouldn't want it to come true' is natural. Suggestion: use clear adjectives and avoid redundant verbs.