梦想— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, correct grammar and use a clear topic sentence. Start with a direct answer, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/word order mistakes.

範例: Not really. I usually forget my dreams as soon as I wake up, so I can't recall them later. For example, I often remember a vague feeling for a few minutes, but the details disappear quickly.

建議: Organize your answer: give a clear yes/no, then add reasons and an example. Use linking words (because, so, for example). Correct word order and reduce redundancy.

範例: Yes, I often share my dreams if I can remember them because they are usually strange and entertaining. For example, last week I told a friend about a dream where I was flying, and we joked about what it might mean.

建議: Clarify your viewpoint and correct vocabulary and grammar. Start with a clear opinion, then give one or two logical reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and use accurate terms (e.g. "dreams" not "stream", "brain activity").

範例: I don't think dreams have special meanings. In my opinion, they are a byproduct of brain activity, especially when someone is stressed or anxious during the day, so the brain continues processing those concerns at night.

建議: Answer directly and then give specific, organized examples. Use parallel structure for lists and avoid filler sounds. Mention why you want those dreams to come true for extra depth.

範例: Yes, definitely. I would like to make some dreams come true, especially positive ones like finding a loving partner, achieving financial success, or traveling to places I've always wanted to visit, such as Europe or South America.

× Well I can't really Remember Remember them because I when I get up every time I always forgot everything about my dream so it's hard for me to remember.

✓ Well, I can't really remember them because when I get up I always forget everything about my dream, so it's hard for me to remember.

The student mixes present and past tense verbs and misuses capitalization. 'Can't really remember' requires 'remember' in lowercase. 'I always forgot' is past tense; it should be present simple 'I always forget' to match habitual action. Also remove the repeated 'Remember' and extra 'when I' to fix sentence structure. Suggestion: Use present simple for routines (I get up, I always forget) and tidy word order: 'when I get up, I always forget...'.

× Yes, if I can record the details of my dream when I after I get up, I will share with my friends immediately.

✓ Yes, if I can record the details of my dream after I get up, I will share them with my friends immediately.

Unnecessary words and incorrect word order: 'when I after I get up' should be 'after I get up'. Also 'share with my friends' needs an object: 'share them with my friends'. The clause is a real conditional (possible future), so 'if I can... I will...' is correct. Suggestion: Remove extra conjunctions and include the direct object after 'share'.

× And you know, always the dreams are very interesting with something unrealistic.

✓ And you know, dreams are often very interesting because they contain unrealistic elements.

The original uses 'with something unrealistic' awkwardly; use 'contain' or 'have' plus 'unrealistic elements'. 'Always' is better as 'often' for frequency. Word order 'always the dreams' is unnatural; use 'dreams are often...'. Suggestion: Use verbs like 'contain' and place frequency adverbs before or after the verb appropriately.

× Also I like to listen to my friends to learn friends sharing their dreams.

✓ Also, I like to listen to my friends when they share their dreams.

The phrase 'to learn friends sharing their dreams' is ungrammatical. Use a clause 'when they share their dreams' and 'listen to my friends' already implies listening to them. Avoid repeating 'friends'. Suggestion: Use relative/time clause 'when they share' and avoid redundant nouns.

× I don't think stream have any specific meaning because I believe that dream solvers occur when someone is anxious or stressed during the daytime.

✓ I don't think dreams have any specific meaning because I believe that dreams occur when someone is anxious or stressed during the daytime.

'stream' is a typo for 'dreams'. Subject-verb agreement: 'dreams have' (plural) not 'have' with wrong noun. 'dream solvers' is incorrect; likely meant 'dreams occur'. Use consistent noun 'dreams' and the verb 'occur'. Suggestion: Check spelling and ensure noun and verb match meaning; 'dreams occur' suits the intended idea.

× Their their activity in the brain is quite quite active.

✓ Their activity in the brain is quite high.

Repetition 'Their their' and 'quite quite active' is redundant and awkward. 'Activity... is quite high' is more natural. Alternatively: 'brain activity is quite high.' Suggestion: Avoid repetition and use precise adjectives ('high' for activity).

× So they didn't. So they didn't even stop when someone is sleeping.

✓ So it doesn't stop; brain activity continues even when someone is sleeping.

'So they didn't' is a fragment and incorrect tense. The intended meaning is present: brain activity does not stop during sleep. Use present simple 'doesn't stop' and clarify subject ('brain activity'). Suggestion: Use full sentences with clear subjects and correct present tense for general truths.

× Yes, definitely. Especially the good ones like I'm dating with a handsome boy or I just earn a lot of money or just I travel to space, uh, places that I, I'm thinking about for a long time like Europe or uh, southern South America.

✓ Yes, definitely. Especially the good ones, like dating a handsome guy, earning a lot of money, or traveling to places I've wanted to visit for a long time, such as Europe or southern South America.

Use gerunds for describing dream scenarios ('dating', 'earning', 'traveling') rather than mixing 'I'm dating' and 'I just earn'. 'Dating a handsome guy' is more natural than 'dating with'. 'I'm thinking about for a long time' should be 'I've wanted to visit for a long time'. Remove filler words and repetitive pronouns. Suggestion: Use parallel gerund structures for lists and correct verb patterns (no 'with' after 'dating' in this sense).