梦想— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答要更自然简洁，直接回答问题并在一句话中给出主题句，然后用1–2句具体细节支持。注意时态和用词（如“once”用法不当，应用“once”表示一次经历或用“when I was younger”）。避免不必要的重复，保持句子不超过五句。可以用连接词（for example, because）让表达更连贯。

範例: Yes. I once dreamed of becoming a photographer because I love capturing beautiful scenery and portraits. For example, I enjoy experimenting with light and composition when I photograph sunsets and people, which makes the process very satisfying.

建議: 回答需要更流利、避免大量语气词和重复。先给出直接回答，然后用一两句说明谁支持你、他们如何支持，并举具体例子（如帮你买相机、鼓励参加课程）。使用连接词如“because”或“for example”来组织信息。句子保持简短明确。

範例: Yes, I share my dreams with my family. They support me by encouraging me to pursue photography and even helped me buy my first camera, which motivated me to take photography classes.

建議: 回答要避免含糊和错误词汇（如“hidden warriors”不合适，应改为“hidden worries”）。先给出明确立场，再解释原因并用具体例子说明。避免语法错误并使用恰当的连接词。将示例完整表达（例如“dream about failing an exam may reflect someone’s anxiety about tests”）。

範例: Yes, I think dreams can be meaningful because they often reflect our emotions or hidden worries. For example, dreaming about failing an exam may show that someone is anxious about their academic performance.

建議: 回答应更自然并避免口头语（如“you know, uh”）。先直接回答，然后说明具体原因并提供如何实现梦想的简短计划或步骤。注意表达年龄要用正确形式（“in my twenties”），并说明情绪与实现梦想的关系。

範例: Yes, I want to make my dreams come true because achieving them would give me a strong sense of accomplishment and reduce my anxiety. To do that, I plan to improve my photography skills by taking online courses and building a portfolio to apply for internships.

× As of once I had a dream to be a photographer because I'm really fond of taking photos of various things like beautiful scenery or persons around me.

✓ Once I had a dream of becoming a photographer because I'm really fond of taking photos of various things like beautiful scenery or people around me.

问题类型：句子结构和用词搭配不当。“As of once” 不符合英语表达习惯，应改为 “Once”。“a dream to be a photographer” 更自然的表达是 “a dream of becoming a photographer”。“persons” 在此处用法不自然，应使用更常见的 “people”。建议记住常用短语：a dream of (doing sth)、become/ be a …。

× I really enjoy the feeling of using a camera.

✓ I really enjoy using a camera.

原句冗余，“the feeling of using a camera” 可以简化为更自然的动名词结构 “enjoy using a camera”。建议多使用简单直接的表达：enjoy + 动名词。

× Yes, uh, once I shared my dreams with my family and, uh, and uh, they and the, and the, and the, they supported my dream and is it and, and they said I can just, uh, pursue my dream and they are always behind me to help and support me.

✓ Yes, I once shared my dreams with my family, and they supported me. They said I could pursue my dream and that they would always be there to help and support me.

原句重复且结构混乱，含有语气词（uh）和重复片段，应删去多余部分并整理从句。将“they said I can just pursue” 改为过去语境下更合适的 “they said I could pursue”，并用 “they would always be there” 表示持续支持。建议练习去掉口语中多余填充词，分成短句更清晰。

× Yes, I think dreams can have special meanings because they often reflect our emotions and and hidden warriors and sometimes they inspire ideas or personal goals for example, a dream refers to a failing exam may reflect this person's worry about.

✓ Yes, I think dreams can have special meanings because they often reflect our emotions and hidden fears, and sometimes they inspire ideas or personal goals. For example, a dream about failing an exam may reflect a person's worry.

原句使用了错误的词 “hidden warriors”（应为“hidden worries” 或 “hidden fears”），并且句子衔接不顺。将句子拆分为两句更清楚。“a dream refers to a failing exam” 应改为 “a dream about failing an exam”。建议注意单词拼写与词义选择，并使用介词搭配（dream about）。

× Yes, I really want to make my dreams come true, you know, uh, this can give me a sense of achievement and, uh, clear my mind because I'm very anxious this time in my 20th.

✓ Yes, I really want to make my dreams come true. It can give me a sense of achievement and help clear my mind because I'm very anxious at this time in my twenties.

原句包含口头填充词和表达不自然。“this can give me... and, uh, clear my mind” 中缺少谓语搭配，应改为 “It can give me... and help clear my mind”。“this time in my 20th” 不正确，正确表达年龄阶段为 “in my twenties” 或 “at the age of 20”。建议避免口语填充词，注意年龄表达习惯。