梦想— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and clear: start with a topic sentence answering the question, then add 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unrelated or unclear words (e.g., “offended”, “advantageous”) and reduce repetition. Focus on natural phrasing and correct grammar: use simple past or present perfect appropriately when talking about dreaming.

範例: Yes, I can remember some dreams. For example, I often dream about travelling around the world, visiting famous cities and seeing beautiful landscapes. These dreams make me excited and motivated to save money for future trips.

建議: Answer directly and use correct tense and articles. If you give a reason, link it with because/so and be specific about what ‘traumatic’ means. Keep it concise and natural (max 5 sentences).

範例: No, I usually do not share my dreams with others, because they feel personal and sometimes upsetting. For instance, I had a dream about getting lost in a foreign city, which made me anxious, so I prefer to keep it private.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence (Yes/No + brief reason). Use linking words (for example, because, so) and improve grammar (e.g., 'motivation for people' and 'help them achieve their goals'). Provide a specific example to support your view.

範例: Yes, I believe dreams can have special meanings because they often motivate people to set goals. For example, dreaming about becoming a teacher might encourage someone to study education and work hard to reach that career.

建議: Answer clearly and expand with 1–2 specific plans or reasons linked logically. Avoid unclear phrases like 'different wheels' and filler words. Use accurate expressions (e.g., 'see different cultures', 'go skydiving', 'swim at beaches').

範例: Yes, I definitely want to make my dreams come true. I plan to travel to other countries to experience different cultures and try activities like skydiving and swimming at famous beaches, so I am saving money and researching destinations.

× Yes, I'm well, I'm I'm very, very young.

✓ Yes, I'm well. I'm very, very young.

The sentence contains repeated 'I'm' due to a speech disfluency. Remove the extra 'I'm' to produce a grammatically correct present-tense statement. Keep simple present 'I'm' to indicate current state.

× I always want to travel all around the world.

✓ I always want to travel all around the world.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable as present-tense desire. No change needed other than confirming context; it correctly uses present tense to express a habitual desire.

× Offended is quite authentic, true, it's advantageous of me and I can see all around the views.

✓ I am quite open and sincere; it is a natural part of me, and I can appreciate the views all around.

Original has unclear vocabulary and structure. 'Offended' is incorrect here; likely intended 'open' or 'honest'. 'Advantageous of me' is ungrammatical. Rephrase to 'a natural part of me' and use 'appreciate the views all around' for clarity and correct verb usage.

× No, I haven't share my dream with other before because I think it's a very traumatic dream and I don't think that I can do it.

✓ No, I haven't shared my dream with others before because I think it's a very personal/traumatic dream and I don't think I can share it.

Present perfect requires past participle: 'haven't shared' (Grammar problem type 9). Use plural 'others' rather than 'other' (pronoun error). Also 'I don't think that I can do it' is vague; 'I don't think I can share it' clarifies the action.

× No, I haven't share my dream with other before because I think it's a very traumatic dream and I don't think that I can do it.

✓ No, I haven't shared my dream with others before because I think it's a very personal/traumatic dream and I don't think I can share it.

The auxiliary 'have' requires the past participle form 'shared' not the base form 'share'. This is a present perfect construction expressing an action not done up to now.

× No, I haven't share my dream with other before because I think it's a very traumatic dream and I don't think that I can do it.

✓ No, I haven't shared my dream with others before because I think it's a very personal/traumatic dream and I don't think I can share it.

Use 'others' when referring to other people, not 'other'. Also avoid redundant 'that' in 'I don't think I can...'. (Combined clarity and pronoun correction.)

× Yes, I think it's umm, motivation of a people to work with that and I think it can keep pushing them to keep going for their dreams and keep achieve their goals.

✓ Yes, I think it's a form of motivation for people to work toward their goals, and it can keep pushing them to pursue their dreams and achieve their goals.

Problems include incorrect article and noun phrase 'motivation of a people' (should be 'motivation for people' — preposition and article issues), incorrect verb patterns 'work with that' and 'keep achieve' (use 'work toward' and 'achieve' with correct infinitive forms). The corrected sentence uses present tense to express general belief and proper verb forms.

× Yes, I think it's umm, motivation of a people to work with that and I think it can keep pushing them to keep going for their dreams and keep achieve their goals.

✓ Yes, I think it's a form of motivation for people to work toward that, and it can keep pushing them to continue pursuing their dreams and to achieve their goals.

Use 'motivation for people' and 'work toward' instead of 'motivation of a people' and 'work with'. Also 'go for' or 'pursue' is better than 'going for' in this context; use infinitive 'to achieve' rather than base form 'achieve' after 'keep'.

× Yes, probably yes. I umm, always want to travel all around the world.

✓ Yes, probably. I always want to travel all around the world.

Minor disfluency 'um' and repeated 'yes'. Keep 'probably' as an adverb and remove repetition. Present simple 'I always want' correctly expresses ongoing desire; no future auxiliary needed.

× I want to see the different wheels umm, compared to my hometown and onto skydiving or swimming in the beach.

✓ I want to see different places compared to my hometown, and try skydiving or swimming at the beach.

Original 'different wheels' is incorrect word choice; likely meant 'places' or 'sights'. 'Onto skydiving' is ungrammatical — use 'try skydiving'. Preposition 'in the beach' should be 'at the beach'. The corrected sentence uses correct nouns and verbs.

× I want to see the different wheels umm, compared to my hometown and onto skydiving or swimming in the beach.

✓ I want to see different places compared to my hometown, and try skydiving or swimming at the beach.

Use 'compare to/with my hometown' and 'swimming at the beach' (not 'in the beach'). Also use 'try skydiving' rather than 'onto skydiving' which is ungrammatical.

× I think it's all.

✓ I think that's all.

The phrase 'I think it's all' is understandable but 'that's all' is the standard expression to signal completion. Use contraction 'that's' to refer to the previous list.