科学— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and clearer: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid redundancy and correct grammar (e.g., 'bachelor's', 'in many ways').

範例: Yes, I do. I studied a science-related subject in my bachelor's degree, and I find science fascinating because it improves people's lives and opens new possibilities. For example, research in my field has led to better medical devices.

建議: Give a clear time reference first, then add one or two specific details. Use linking words ('when', 'then', 'later') and fix grammar ('books', 'magazines'). Keep it within a few sentences.

範例: I began learning about science as soon as I learned to read. When I was at school I read science magazines, and one article introduced biomedical engineering, which later became my favorite field.

建議: Good direct answer and reason. Improve by using more precise vocabulary and a linking phrase, and keep it slightly shorter. Mention a brief example to be more specific.

範例: I am most interested in artificial organs created by biomedical engineers, because they can restore function for patients who have lost organs. For example, a bioengineered heart valve can dramatically improve a patient's quality of life.

建議: Be factual and use correct tenses and verbs. Start with a topic sentence about one project, then give specific details (purpose, method, result) using linking words. Avoid unsafe or exaggerated descriptions.

範例: When I was younger I worked on a physics project to build a simple laser device. I tested it safely under supervision by focusing a beam on a balloon to demonstrate energy absorption, and the experiment helped me understand optics.

建議: Correct the expression ('I'm a huge fan') and be concise. Give one reason why you enjoy them and mention platforms briefly. Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: I'm a huge fan of science programs because they explain complex ideas in an engaging way. Although my mother sometimes asked me to change the channel, I still enjoy watching science documentaries on YouTube.

建議: Avoid vague or incorrect generalizations. Start by admitting limited knowledge, then give a reasonable, specific guess with reasons and avoid filler words ('uh'). Use linking words and correct expressions ('populous', 'historic cities').

範例: I'm not sure, but I would guess many people in China visit science museums, especially in large, historic cities where public interest and museum resources are concentrated. For example, major cities like Beijing and Shanghai have popular science centers that attract families and students.

× Yes I do, it's associated with my major which I studied in my bachelors and science always helps people to improve their lives in any ways and it shows new paths to humans, so it was always interesting for me.

✓ Yes, I do. It's related to my major, which I studied for my bachelor's degree, and science always helps people improve their lives in many ways and shows new paths to people, so it has always been interesting to me.

Errors: incorrect pronoun 'humans' (awkward in this context) and phrasing issues. Use 'people' instead of 'humans' for natural speech. Also correct 'bachelors' to 'bachelor's degree' and adjust verb tenses and articles for clarity. Suggestions: break into shorter sentences, use 'related to' or 'associated with' consistently, and use 'many ways' instead of 'any ways'.

× Since I learned to read texts on the book, I started to learn about science and I started reading magazine when I was at school and I also found my favorite major on a magazine which I was reading when I was only a child. And there I found out about biomedical engineering.

✓ When I learned to read books, I began learning about science and started reading magazines when I was at school, and I found my favorite subject in a magazine I was reading as a child; that is where I discovered biomedical engineering.

Errors: mixed and incorrect tense use ('Since I learned... I started' and 'on the book', 'a magazine which I was reading when I was only a child'). Use simple past ('learned','began','started','found','discovered') for past events. Also correct prepositions: 'read books' not 'read texts on the book', 'magazines' plural, and 'as a child' for natural phrasing. Suggestions: use consistent past tense and correct prepositions.

× My favorite subject in science is creating artificial organs by biomedical engineers to help patients who have lost one of their body parts.

✓ My favorite topic in science is the creation of artificial organs by biomedical engineers to help patients who have lost body parts.

Errors: awkward word order and article use. Use 'topic' or 'subject' and 'the creation of' instead of 'creating ... by biomedical engineers'. 'One of their body parts' is wordy; 'body parts' is clearer. Suggestions: use noun phrases ('the creation of artificial organs') and simplify objects.

× I remember when I was younger, I create a laser which could burn things out and I started making it out of school for a project in physics and I blew a balloon and I clashed it by that laser and it felt great.

✓ I remember that when I was younger, I created a laser that could burn things and I started making it outside school for a physics project; I popped a balloon with that laser and it felt great.

Errors: incorrect verb tense 'create' should be past 'created'; awkward phrasing 'burn things out' and 'clashed it by that laser'. Use 'outside school' not 'out of school'. Use 'popped a balloon' or 'burst a balloon' for clarity. Suggestions: keep past tense consistent and use common verbs for actions (created, popped).

× I have a huge fan of watching science TV programs and whenever I was watching that my mother complained to me to change the channels.

✓ I am a huge fan of watching science TV programs, and whenever I watched them my mother would ask me to change the channel.

Errors: incorrect verb 'have a huge fan' should be 'am a huge fan'. Pronoun and demonstrative errors: 'that' should be 'them' (programs), and 'complained to me to change the channels' is unnatural; use 'asked me to change the channel'. Also match tense: habitual past 'would ask' or simple past 'asked'. Suggestions: use 'am a fan', plural pronoun 'them', and natural reporting verbs like 'ask'.

× But I could never do that and I'm still in love with watching TV programs in science on YouTube.

✓ But I could never do that, and I'm still in love with watching science programs on YouTube.

Errors: word order 'TV programs in science' is awkward; use 'science programs'. Tense and modality 'could never do that' is acceptable but 'could never stop' might be clearer depending on intended meaning. Suggestions: simplify phrase order to 'watching science programs on YouTube'.

× I'm actually not aware of that matter, but I guess that they might do because Chinese people are so, uh, populated.

✓ I'm actually not sure about that, but I guess they might because China has a large population.

Errors: 'aware of that matter' is formal/awkward; use 'sure about that'. Pronoun 'they' ambiguous; better to refer to 'Chinese people' or 'people in China'. 'Populated' used incorrectly—'populated' describes a place, not people. Use 'has a large population' or 'there are so many people'. Suggestions: use natural expressions: 'not sure', 'China has a large population'.

× They might be interested in visiting science museums because they are so old city.

✓ They might be interested in visiting science museums because there are many old cities.

Errors: 'they are so old city' is ungrammatical and mixes plural and singular. If meaning is that China has many old cities, say 'there are many old cities' or 'China has many historic cities'. Suggestions: ensure subject and noun forms agree and use proper expressions like 'historic cities' or 'many old cities'.

× I started reading magazine when I was at school and I also found my favorite major on a magazine which I was reading when I was only a child.

✓ I started reading magazines when I was at school, and I also found my favorite major in a magazine I was reading as a child.

Errors: incorrect preposition 'on a magazine' should be 'in a magazine'. Also 'when I was only a child' can be simplified to 'as a child'. Suggestions: use 'in' for content within a printed item and prefer concise time phrases.

× It's a really interesting and fascinating subject to me because it looks like a miracle.

✓ It's a really interesting and fascinating subject to me because it seems like a miracle.

Errors: minor collocation issue: 'looks like a miracle' is acceptable but 'seems like a miracle' is more natural here. No article error significant; suggested change improves idiomaticity. Suggestions: prefer 'seems' over 'looks' for abstract impressions.