科学— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and fluent: give a clear topic sentence stating your view, then briefly explain why with 1–2 supporting reasons. Reduce hesitations and filler words and use simpler collocations (e.g. “social and creative interests”).

範例: I don’t really enjoy science. I prefer social and creative subjects because I like working with people and expressing ideas, not doing experiments or memorizing formulas.

建議: Start with a clear time marker, then give one specific memory or detail. Avoid vague phrases like “hardships we had to end.” Use linking words (e.g. “and”, “because”) to connect thoughts logically.

範例: I started learning science in middle school. I remember doing simple experiments in biology class, which were thought-provoking and made me curious about how living things work.

建議: Be precise: correct the term (social sciences) and give 1–2 concrete reasons or examples of topics you find interesting. Keep sentences shorter and avoid repetition.

範例: I find social sciences most interesting because they cover topics like psychology and sociology, which help me understand human behavior and society.

建議: Clarify what you mean by “science-oriented subjects” and give specific examples of activities (e.g. experiments, projects, reading particular books). Reduce hesitation and use coherent linking words like “for example” and “because.”

範例: In high school I took science-oriented courses and for example I read popular science books about psychology and evolution, which helped me think more critically and form better arguments.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and one concise reason with a brief contrast. Avoid filler words and use natural vocabulary (e.g. “I prefer romance or adventure films, so science shows seem dull”).

範例: Not really. I prefer romance and adventure films, so science TV programs often feel too slow or technical for my taste.

建議: If unsure, say so briefly and then give a reasonable guess or general information. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Provide one specific example or trend if possible (e.g. popular large museums, school trips).

範例: I'm not sure, but I think many people in China visit science museums, especially families and school groups. Major cities have large interactive museums that attract visitors on weekends.

× Uh, if I have to be honest, I'm not, uh, I'm not fond of science in general because I contend that I have a more, you know, social, uh, skills, uh, creative, uh, kind of, uh, mindset and capacities.

✓ Uh, if I have to be honest, I'm not particularly fond of science in general because I believe that I have a more social, creative mindset and skill set.

The original uses awkward pronoun/reference and redundant phrases ('you know', 'kind of') and mixes nouns improperly ('social skills creative kind of mindset and capacities'). This is an incorrect use of pronouns and noun phrases leading to unclear reference. Improve by using clear pronouns and coherent noun phrases: 'I believe' instead of 'I contend that I have a more, you know', and combine related nouns into 'skill set' and 'mindset' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Uh, I think, uh, my first ever science lesson was in my, uh, middle school and it was such a thought provoking subject to learn.

✓ Uh, I think my first-ever science lesson was in middle school, and it was a very thought-provoking subject to learn.

The sentence requires simple past 'was' (already present) which is correct, but punctuation and word choice need fixing: 'my middle school' is unnecessary article use; 'thought provoking' should be hyphenated as 'thought-provoking'. This addresses tense consistency and word form clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× And I still, uh, meticulously, uh, remember, uh, the hardships that we have, we had to end.

✓ And I still meticulously remember the hardships that we had to endure.

The original has disfluent repetition and wrong verb ('end' instead of 'endure') and incorrect tense mixture ('we have, we had'). This is a sentence structure error; correct by using past tense 'had to endure' and removing repetitions for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I would say that the that social science, because in my opinion this is a very well-rounded subject and it comprises a lot of different aspects and learn, by learning it you can, yeah, you can become a well-rounded person.

✓ I would say that social science is interesting because, in my opinion, it is a very well-rounded subject that comprises many different aspects, and by learning it you can become a well-rounded person.

Problems include duplicated word 'the that', awkward pronoun 'it' placement and fragmented clauses. This is incorrect use of pronouns and sentence structure. Fix by removing duplication, using clear subject-verb 'social science is', and streamlining clauses. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× I'd say that I, uh, face, uh, uh, signs oriented subjects, uh, in my high school and, uh, for example, uh, I've been reading lots of books on a really thought provoking and engaging topics, which at the moment I really value because I think they helped me a lot.

✓ I'd say that I took science-oriented subjects in high school, and, for example, I've been reading lots of thought-provoking and engaging books, which I really value because I think they have helped me a lot.

Original contains incorrect preposition/use of verb ('face' instead of 'took' or 'studied'), 'signs oriented' is incorrect; 'on a really thought provoking and engaging topics' misuses preposition 'on' and article 'a' with plural 'topics'. This is incorrect use of prepositions and verb choice. Correct by using 'took' and 'reading books' with no 'on' and correct plural agreement. Grammar problem type ID: 11

× Uh, to be honest, I am not particularly fond of science, uh, TV shows because I am more inclined, uh, to some romance movies or uh, some, uh, films with adventurous spirits.

✓ Uh, to be honest, I am not particularly fond of science TV shows because I prefer romance movies or films with adventurous themes.

Original mixes awkward phrasing 'more inclined to some romance movies' which is incorrect preposition use and word choice; 'adventurous spirits' is unnatural. This is a present tense and word choice issue—use simple present preference 'prefer' and correct noun 'themes'. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Uh, to be honest, I don't really know much about this topic, but as far as I'm concerned, uh, in China, uh, itself, in this country, there are a handful of, uh, a handful of incredible museums that study in particular and show some of the architect, architect.

✓ Uh, to be honest, I don't really know much about this topic, but as far as I'm concerned, in China there are a handful of incredible museums that focus on particular topics and show some of the architecture.

Errors include redundant 'a handful of, a handful of', awkward 'in China, itself, in this country', incorrect verb 'study' and repeated 'architect, architect'. This falls under article errors and word choice/redundancy. Simplify phrase, remove redundancy, use 'focus on' and the correct noun 'architecture'. Grammar problem type ID: 22