分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar (verb forms and pronouns), make the response more concise and natural, and add a brief specific example. Use a topic sentence then one supporting detail with a linking word.

範例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age. For example, they encouraged me to lend toys to my cousins so we could play together, which helped us build a closer relationship.

建議: Avoid listing unsuitable items (sharing secrets then saying you also don't share them). Use correct tense and clearer vocabulary, and limit to two to three specific examples with a linking reason. Keep it natural and coherent with linking words.

範例: I usually share practical things like clothes and books with friends. Also, I sometimes share personal thoughts with close friends because talking about problems helps me relieve stress.

建議: Use correct grammar and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific examples and a reason using a linking word. Be concise and natural.

範例: I think sensitive information, such as bank details or passwords, should not be shared. For example, I never share my account passwords because doing so could put my privacy and security at risk.

建議: Use correct time expressions and grammar, and make the story clearer and shorter. Begin with a topic sentence about the recent event, then add one specific detail using a linking word.

範例: Yes, a couple of weeks ago I lent some clothes to a friend who was going on a trip and lacked suitable outfits. For instance, I gave them a jacket and two shirts so they would be comfortable on the trip.

建議: Correct pronoun use and tense, and make the statement concise. Start with a clear topic sentence and give a brief reason using a linking word.

範例: I always tell my parents first when I have good news because they are my main support. For example, I called my mother right away when I was promoted at work.

建議: Use correct verb forms and be specific about the achievements. Begin with a topic sentence, then give one concrete example and a linking phrase to explain why you share those achievements.

範例: I usually share personal achievements with my friends, such as work awards or exam results, because they support and congratulate me. For example, I told my friends when I received an employee-of-the-month award at my company.

× They teach me to share your things with your family members and friends.

✓ They taught me to share my things with my family members and friends.

The student used present tense 'teach' but the context is past (when they were a child), so past tense 'taught' is required. Also pronoun mismatch: speaking about themselves, 'your' should be 'my'. Ensure verbs match time frame and pronouns match the subject.

× They think that whenever you share your things with anyone, they make your bond more strong and healthy.

✓ They think that whenever you share your things with anyone, it makes your bond stronger and healthier.

The clause 'they make' incorrectly uses plural 'they' to refer to 'sharing'; use singular 'it makes'. Also 'more strong' is unidiomatic; use comparative 'stronger' and adjective 'healthier'. Ensure subject agreement and natural adjective forms.

× Yes, there are a lot of things which I shared with my friends and family members As for example clothes, my personal details and my secrets.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of things that I share with my friends and family members, for example clothes, personal details, and secrets.

Tense and structure issues: 'shared' (past) conflicts with general habit; use present 'share'. 'Which' is acceptable but 'that' is more natural here. Capitalization and punctuation needed between clauses; 'As for example' is incorrect — use 'for example'. Also remove redundant possessive 'my' before 'personal details' and 'secrets' for conciseness.

× As I think by sharing your personal talks and your secrets might be a very stressbuster.

✓ I think sharing personal conversations and secrets can be a good stressbuster.

Original has redundant 'As I think' and awkward structure 'by sharing... might be'. Use simple structure 'I think sharing ... can be'. Replace 'personal talks' with 'personal conversations' and avoid unnecessary pronoun 'your' when speaking generally. Use 'can be' for possibility.

× Well, I think the people mostly cannot share their secrets with other person due to their trust issues.

✓ Well, I think people mostly cannot share their secrets with other people due to trust issues.

'The people' and 'other person' are awkward; use general plural 'people' and 'other people'. Repeating 'their' and 'trust issues' is fine; remove definite article 'the' for general statements.

× And I am also a person who have a lot of trust issues.

✓ And I am also a person who has a lot of trust issues.

Relative clause subject 'who' refers to 'person' (singular), so verb must be 'has' not 'have'. Ensure subject-verb agreement in relative clauses.

× So I cannot share my personal details and my status to anyone.

✓ So I cannot share my personal details or my status with anyone.

Use 'with' not 'to' for sharing with someone. Use 'or' for listing alternatives and avoid repeating 'my' unnecessarily. 'With anyone' is the correct prepositional phrase.

× I remember a couple of week ago I shared my clothes with my friend as they want to go on trip and they have not a good stuff of clothes so they borrow from me and I give my clothes to them.

✓ I remember a couple of weeks ago I shared my clothes with my friend because they wanted to go on a trip and did not have good clothes, so they borrowed from me and I gave my clothes to them.

Multiple tense and form errors: 'a couple of week' should be 'a couple of weeks'. Use past tense consistently for the event: 'wanted', 'did not have', 'borrowed', 'gave'. 'On trip' needs article 'on a trip'. 'Stuff of clothes' is unnatural; use 'good clothes'. Maintain consistent past tense and natural phrasing.

× Whenever I have any good news or I achieve anything, I firstly inform to my parents because I think he is my first priority.

✓ Whenever I have good news or achieve something, I first inform my parents because I think they are my first priority.

Pronoun and verb issues: 'firstly inform to' is incorrect — use 'first inform'. 'He' incorrectly refers to parents (plural); use 'they'. Also simplify 'any good news or I achieve anything' to 'good news or achieve something'.

× So I always shared my good news with my parents first.

✓ So I always share my good news with my parents first.

If describing habitual action use present simple 'always share' not past 'shared'. Use tense consistent with habit stated earlier.

× Well, I usually share the things which I achieved in my life.

✓ Well, I usually share the things that I have achieved in my life.

For past achievements relevant to present, use present perfect 'have achieved' rather than simple past 'achieved'. Also 'which' can be replaced by 'that' for defining clause.

× For example, a few days ago I achieve a prize from my company to be a good employee.

✓ For example, a few days ago I received a prize from my company for being a good employee.

Incorrect verb 'achieve' should be past tense 'received'. Use 'for being' to express reason. Maintain past tense for the event and use natural collocations ('received a prize').

× So that type of things I share with my friends.

✓ So those are the kinds of things I share with my friends.

Original word order is awkward. Use 'those are the kinds of things' or 'I share those kinds of things' for clarity. Match demonstrative 'those' with plural 'kinds'.