分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, use correct tense and simpler grammar, and add one specific supporting detail. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and use linking words for clarity.

範例: Yes. My parents taught me to be careful about sharing information. For example, they told me never to give personal details to strangers and to always tell them if I had a problem.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence describing what you share, avoid filler words, and add a specific example using a linking word (e.g., for example, because). Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: I usually share personal news and problems with my parents and best friend. For example, I tell my friend when I’m happy about passing an exam and I tell my parents when I need advice because they help me solve issues.

建議: Answer directly with a concise topic sentence, use correct terms (e.g., ID number, passwords), and provide one specific reason why these things shouldn’t be shared. Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: Sensitive information should not be shared with others. For instance, I never share my ID number or passwords because sharing them could put my security and privacy at risk.

建議: Give a clear, grammatical response in 1–2 sentences describing the recent news, correct the unclear details, and include one specific fact. Avoid long, broken phrases.

範例: Yes, I recently shared good news with my best friend: I passed my driving test and my dad bought a car for me. We were both very excited about it.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence naming the person, then give one brief reason using a linking word like because. Keep sentences short and grammatically correct.

範例: I usually share good news with my parents first because they support me and enjoy hearing about my achievements. For example, I told them first when I got a scholarship.

建議: Provide a clear opening sentence about the types of news, then give 1–2 specific examples and a linking word to show reason or context. Use correct vocabulary like engaged or new job.

範例: I share happy personal news with my friends, such as getting engaged or starting a new job. For instance, when I accepted a new position last year, I immediately told my close friends so we could celebrate.

× Actually when was when was a child, my parent asked me don't share personal information for anyone or any person in the road.

✓ Actually, when I was a child, my parents told me not to share personal information with anyone on the street.

This sentence has multiple structure problems: missing subject 'I' after 'when', incorrect verb forms ('parent asked me don't' should be 'parents told me not to'), singular/plural ('parent' -> 'parents'), wrong prepositions ('for anyone' -> 'with anyone', 'in the road' -> 'on the street'). To improve, keep a clear subject and use correct verb forms and prepositions: 'When I was a child, my parents told me not to share personal information with anyone on the street.'

× Just tell me to share with them if I face any problem or issue.

✓ They told me to share with them if I faced any problem or issue.

The original uses incorrect tense and person. 'Just tell me' is present imperative but context is past reporting; use past reporting verb 'told me' and past tense 'faced' to match. Also 'them' is fine. For clarity, use 'They told me to tell them if I had any problems.'

× Actually, I share with my mom or dad or best friend.

✓ Actually, I share things with my mom, dad, or best friend.

The verb 'share' is okay for habitual actions, but the sentence is missing an object and punctuation; add 'things' and commas for natural English: 'I share things with my mom, dad, or my best friend.'

× I share with them something have uh, something uh, happy with me or some issue I need to solve.

✓ I share with them something that makes me happy or any problem I need help solving.

The original has fragmented clauses and missing relative pronoun and verb forms. Use 'something that makes me happy' and 'problem I need help solving' for grammatical clarity and natural phrasing.

× Yes, I share with my family or best friend.

✓ Yes, I share with my family or my best friend.

'Best friend' needs a possessive determiner 'my' to match 'my family', and parallel structure improves clarity: 'my family or my best friend.'

× I think, uh, like a personal information like civil number or uh, some problem with my parents I didn't share with other people, uh, something security with me like.

✓ I think personal information, like my civil number, or some problems with my parents I don't share with other people; things related to my security I also keep private.

Problems: 'a personal information' — 'information' is uncountable so no 'a'; 'civil number' needs possessive 'my civil number'; tense mismatch 'I didn't share' -> 'I don't share' for general habit; unclear phrase 'something security with me' -> 'things related to my security'. Use appropriate prepositions and article usage for uncountable nouns.

× I share a happy news with my best friend which is a good a license and my dad buy both me and your car.

✓ I shared happy news with my best friend: I got a driver's license and my dad bought cars for both me and my sibling.

This sentence should use past tense 'shared' and 'bought' for completed events. 'a happy news' is incorrect ('news' uncountable), 'a license' should be 'a driver's license', and 'buy both me and your car' is unclear—likely 'bought cars for both me and my sister/brother' or 'bought a car for both of us.' Clarify the recipient and use correct past tense verbs.

× It's a crueler I share was.

✓ I was very excited to share it.

The original is ungrammatical and unclear. 'Crueler' is incorrect; likely intended to express emotion. Rephrase to 'I was very excited to share it' to convey the meaning accurately.

× When have a good day news directly, I share that with my mom and dad because they need to listen something good for me or good news.

✓ When I have good news, I share it directly with my mom and dad because they like to hear good things about me.

Use present simple 'When I have good news' for habitual actions, replace 'share that' with 'share it', and correct 'need to listen something good for me' to 'like to hear good things about me.' The sentence structure needed reordering for natural English.

× Uh, so they the first people I share with them.

✓ So they are the first people I share with.

Redundant pronoun 'them' and missing verb 'are'. Correct form: 'So they are the first people I share with.' Avoid repeating object pronouns when subject already refers to the people.

× I share with my friend something happy news.

✓ I share happy news with my friends.

'Something happy news' is ungrammatical—'news' is uncountable, use 'happy news' or 'good news'; 'friend' plural 'friends' is more natural generally. Keep present simple for habitual actions.

× For example, if I get engaged or get a new occupation or job I share with my F my friends.

✓ For example, if I get engaged or get a new job, I share it with my friends.

'Occupation' is acceptable but 'job' is simpler; remove the typo 'my F'. Use 'share it with my friends' to include the object and keep verb tenses consistent for hypothetical or future events.