分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Говорите прямо и структурированно: начните с короткого ответа на вопрос, затем приведите 1–2 конкретных примера. Избегайте повторов, заполнителей («uh», «I mean») и нечетких фраз. Сформулируйте мысли в 2–3 связных предложениях и используйте связки (for example, because, usually).

範例: I don't clearly remember whether my parents taught me to share. However, I usually share snacks like cookies with classmates because I feel it's polite and makes socializing easier. I tend not to share personal items such as my phone or toothbrush.

建議: Давайте конкретный тематический ответ и приведите конкретный пример: назовите предметы, почему вы их делите, и один короткий пример ситуации. Избегайте тавтологии и неверной грамматики. Используйте связки (for example, especially when, because).

範例: I like to share snacks and small treats with friends, especially when we're busy or studying together. For example, if I bring biscuits to the library, I often offer them to classmates to make the break more pleasant.

建議: Отвечайте ясно и приводите причину: назовите несколько примеров и объясните, почему их не стоит делить (гигиена, аллергия). Избегайте лишних междометий и повторов; используйте связки (for example, because, due to).

範例: Cosmetics and personal care items are not suitable for sharing because they can spread bacteria or cause skin reactions. For example, sharing mascara or face cream could lead to infections or allergic responses.

建議: Дайте прямой короткий ответ, объясните причину и при возможности приведите альтернативу или пример. Избегайте неуверенных фраз и повторов. Стройте ответ в 1–2 предложениях с логической связкой (because, so).

範例: I haven't shared anything recently because I'm not used to sharing personal items. However, if a friend needed something small like a pen or a snack, I would be willing to help.

建議: Отвечайте прямо и логично: назовите человека и объясните причину, используя связки (because, when). Уберите повторения и заполнители. Можно добавить один конкретный пример события. Формулируйте 2–3 предложения максимум.

範例: I would share good news first with my mother, especially academic achievements, because she supports me and celebrates my progress. For example, if I passed an important exam, I'd call her immediately to tell her the result.

建議: Отвечайте чётко: перечислите типы новостей и объясните, почему вы их делите, с одним коротким примером. Избегайте грамматических ошибок в временах и лишних повторов. Используйте связки (for example, when, because).

範例: I usually share news about big purchases and plans to meet up with friends. For example, if I buy a new phone, I'll tell my close friends, and if I have free time, I'll message them to arrange a meetup.

× Actually, I don't remember, but I usually share with someone when I want to and then, uh, they deserve it.

✓ Actually, I don't remember, but I usually share with someone when I want to and if they deserve it.

The original uses 'and then' awkwardly; 'if' correctly expresses the conditional relationship. Also 'they deserve it' refers to people and is fine, but 'if they deserve it' clarifies the condition. Suggest using 'if' for conditional clauses and avoid filler words like 'then' here.

× Like it depends on of course, on what I share.

✓ It depends, of course, on what I share.

Use 'depends' (present tense) with correct word order: 'It depends on what I share.' Remove the extra preposition 'on' and the filler 'like'. Place 'of course' as a parenthetical.

× Usually my personal, uh, items I usually don't share, but with food, snacks, I mean, I usually got.

✓ Usually I don't share my personal items, but I usually share food and snacks.

Reorder sentence for natural English: subject + verb + object. Remove 'got' which is ungrammatical here. Use consistent present simple 'share' for habitual actions.

× And in our childhood snacks are usually to share a snack to someone, it's just simple.

✓ In childhood, people usually share snacks with others; it's simple.

Original has awkward structure and incorrect infinitive use 'to share a snack to someone.' Use 'share snacks with others.' 'In childhood' is a clearer time phrase. Combine clauses with a semicolon or split into two sentences.

× And especially when a busy day I I eat biscuits, I can share with someone with someone.

✓ Especially on a busy day, if I eat biscuits, I can share them with someone.

Use 'on a busy day' for time expression and include a conditional 'if'. Use pronoun 'them' to refer to biscuits and remove repetition 'with someone with someone.' Also avoid duplicated 'I'.

× Cosmetic, uh, cosmetics definitely are not suitable for sharing.

✓ Cosmetics are definitely not suitable for sharing.

Remove redundant singular 'cosmetic,' keep plural 'cosmetics.' Use simple declarative order: subject + verb + complement.

× Uh, umm, because, uh, because it's personal awesome.

✓ Because they are personal items.

'It' is incorrect; 'cosmetics' is plural so use 'they are.' Also 'awesome' is incorrect in meaning; use 'personal' or 'for personal use.' Keep concise: 'Because they are personal.'

× And uh, I don't know what you share with someone.

✓ Also, I don't know what someone else might share with you.

Original unclear subject/object. Clarify roles: if speaking about another person's sharing, say 'what someone else might share with you' or 'what you would share with someone.' Choose consistency in perspective.

× And of course it's, uh, if it's, uh, for skin, it's can spoil your skin.

✓ And of course, if it's for skin use, it can spoil your skin.

Avoid repeated 'it's.' Use 'if it's for skin use' and 'it can spoil your skin.' Remove extra modal placement 'it's can' which is ungrammatical.

× Actually I have no idea that I have anything to share with others recently because I'm not a big fan to share with someone.

✓ Actually, I have no idea that I have anything to share with others recently because I'm not a big fan of sharing with people.

Use 'fan of' + gerund 'sharing' to express preference. 'Recently' with present perfect 'have' is ok; reorder to 'fan of sharing with people' for natural phrasing.

× So I think it's I don't have but it would it would book I think so.

✓ So I think I don't have anything to share, but I might in the future.

Original is fragmented and contains nonsense 'it would book.' Provide a clear contrast: 'I don't have anything to share' and a tentative future possibility 'I might in the future.' Use modal 'might' for uncertainty.

× Definitely with mothers, especially, uh, achievement of studying if I passed exam.

✓ Definitely with my mother, especially my academic achievements if I pass an exam.

Use singular 'mother' if referring to one; possessive 'my.' Use 'academic achievements' or 'my achievement in studying.' Use present/future conditional: 'if I pass an exam.'

× Well, I, I would like to share with, uh, with this news, with my mom, uh, or with my dad, I mean with parents.

✓ Well, I would like to share this news with my mom or my dad, in other words, with my parents.

Place object 'this news' after 'share' and use 'with' before recipients. Simplify repetition and clarify 'parents' as plural when both are meant.

× So yeah, because it's really for me necessary.

✓ So yeah, because it's really necessary for me.

Adverb/adjective order: 'necessary for me' is natural. 'For me necessary' is incorrect word order in English.

× When I when I bought, when I buy something new and it's really a huge, I really I would like to share with this news with my friends or when I have free time, I usually would like to share with my friends for meeting.

✓ When I buy something new and it's a big deal, I like to share the news with my friends; and when I have free time, I like to invite my friends to meet.

Use consistent present simple 'buy' for habitual actions. Replace 'really a huge' with 'a big deal.' Use 'share the news with my friends.' For meetings, use 'invite my friends to meet' rather than 'share with my friends for meeting.'