分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cần rút gọn câu trả lời, sửa ngữ pháp và tránh lặp từ. Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó cung cấp một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ đồ vật bạn đã chia sẻ và một kết quả). Tránh lỗi thì (want → wanted) và lặp từ (donate).

範例: Yes. My parents taught me to share from a young age because they wanted me to be compassionate. For example, I often gave toys and old clothes to children in my neighborhood, and I sometimes donated books to a local charity.

建議: Cần dùng thì đúng (want → wanted) và viết câu mạch lạc hơn. Hạn chế lặp từ, dùng liên từ để liên kết ý (e.g., however, now). Nên nêu rõ hai loại chia sẻ kèm ví dụ cụ thể cho mỗi loại.

範例: In the past I shared physical things like books and toys. Now I prefer to share my taste in music and personal stories because I want friends to understand my thoughts and personality.

建議: Cần cải thiện ngữ pháp (thinks → think, possessive 'our'), cấu trúc câu rõ ràng và cung cấp ví dụ minh họa mạch lạc. Tránh nói lủng củng; dùng liên từ để giải thích lý do và kết luận ngắn gọn.

範例: I think private things like a diary or intimate feelings should not be shared. If you tell such details to people you do not trust, they might spread or misuse them, which can be hurtful.

建議: Cần chỉnh lỗi phát âm viết thành đúng cấu trúc ngữ pháp (remember → remembered; learned → lent), dùng đại từ phù hợp (they/she), và làm rõ kết quả. Giữ câu ngắn và mạch lạc, nêu kết quả cụ thể.

範例: Yes. Recently I lent my English textbook to a close friend who was struggling with vocabulary while preparing for an exam. As a result, her test score improved and she felt very proud.

建議: Cần sửa ngữ pháp và trật tự từ (a good news → good news; share for → share with), dùng thì phù hợp và rút gọn. Thêm một câu ngắn giải thích lý do và kết quả (mẹ động viên, khen thưởng).

範例: I would share good news with my mother first, because she always supports and encourages me when I have problems. For example, when I get a better score she often celebrates by taking me out for a nice meal.

建議: Cần sửa cấu trúc câu, tránh lặp và mâu thuẫn đại từ (friends plural vs she). Nêu rõ hai loại tin (âm nhạc, sách) và lý do tại sao bạn chia sẻ – kèm ví dụ cụ thể. Dùng liên từ để làm rõ ý.

範例: I usually share news about new K-pop bands and useful books I buy. For instance, I told my friend about a new album because she is a big fan, and I recommended a grammar book to another friend who is learning English.

× When I was a child, my parents taught me to share with everybody because they want me to have compassionate and heartwarming personalities.

✓ When I was a child, my parents taught me to share with everybody because they wanted me to have compassionate and warm personality.

The main clause is past tense ('taught'), so the following verb should also be past tense ('wanted') for consistent timeline. 'Personalities' is incorrect because 'personality' is usually singular for one person; 'heartwarming' is better replaced by 'warm' for natural collocation.

× So I often share my toys, my experience, my food for my close friends, and I also donate donate old clothes. All books for poor children.

✓ So I often shared my toys, my experiences, and my food with my close friends, and I also donated old clothes and books to poor children.

Because the context is past (when I was a child), verbs should be past tense ('shared', 'donated'). 'Experience' should be plural ('experiences') when listing multiple kinds; use 'with' not 'for' to indicate sharing. Combine fragmented sentences into one coherent sentence.

× Well, in the past I want to share that my experience and my own things such as books, toys or umm. Clothes.

✓ Well, in the past I wanted to share my experiences and my own things such as books, toys, or clothes.

The phrase 'in the past' requires past tense 'wanted' not present 'want'. 'Experience' should be plural in this general sense. Remove unnecessary pauses and punctuation for fluency.

× But now I like to share my taste of music or my deep stories with others that I believe, because I want to want somebody to know my spirits, my thoughts.

✓ But now I like to share my taste in music or my personal stories with others because I want someone to know my spirit and my thoughts.

Use present tense 'like' is fine for current habit; 'taste in music' is the correct collocation. 'Deep stories' is better 'personal stories'. Remove duplicated 'want to want' and use 'someone' instead of 'somebody' for clarity; 'spirits' should be singular 'spirit' or rephrased as 'feelings'.

× I thinks our diary, our spirit stories are not suitable for sharing because when we share our own thoughts, our own experience for people who always talk lies or we don't trust, our story will not be private.

✓ I think our diaries and personal stories are not suitable for sharing because when we share our own thoughts and experiences with people who lie or whom we don't trust, our stories will not remain private.

Subject 'I' requires 'think' not 'thinks'. Use plural 'diaries' to match 'our'. 'Experience' should be plural 'experiences' in general statements. Use 'with' not 'for' when indicating recipients. Use 'whom' or rephrase 'people who lie or whom we don't trust'. 'Will not be private' is clearer as 'will not remain private'.

× For example, uh, my story umm Beth score is a wish talk with other people who don't like didn't like me and then they.

✓ For example, my story about my exam score is something I would not talk about with people who do not like me.

The original is fragmented and unclear. Clarify intended meaning: likely referring to not sharing exam scores with people who dislike you. Use consistent tense and complete sentence structure.

× Yes, I quickly re remember that I learned my English textbooks to my close friend when we were preparing for an important exam because they were she was struggling with their language and were not good at English vocabulary.

✓ Yes, I quickly remembered that I lent my English textbooks to my close friend when we were preparing for an important exam because she was struggling with the language and was not good at English vocabulary.

Use past participle/tense 'remembered' for completed action. 'Lent' is the correct past form of 'lend'. Pronouns must agree: use 'she' and 'was' to match singular friend; 'their' is plural and mismatched. 'The language' is natural collocation.

× As a result, their test scores improved and they were very proud of. If their progress and my sharing.

✓ As a result, her test scores improved and she was very proud of her progress and my help.

The original has fragment and incorrect pronouns. Use consistent singular 'her' to match earlier 'she'. Complete the clause: 'proud of her progress and my help' is standard.

× I think when I have a good news I will share for my mother the first because she is a person who encourage and help me a lot whenever I was I am in trouble.

✓ I think when I have good news I will share it with my mother first because she is a person who encourages and helps me a lot whenever I am in trouble.

'News' is uncountable so 'a good news' is incorrect; say 'good news' and include 'it'. Use 'share with' not 'share for'. Use third person singular 'encourages' and 'helps'. Maintain present tense 'I am in trouble' for general situations.

× So when I have a better score or better news in my learning progress, I will. Alert it to my mom and she will award me for some good food or a date of relaxing.

✓ So when I get a better score or good news in my studies, I will tell my mom and she will reward me with some good food or a relaxing outing.

Use 'get' for receiving a score and 'in my studies' for natural phrasing. 'Tell' is the verb for informing, not 'alert' in this context. 'Reward' is the correct verb and use 'with' to indicate what the reward is. 'A date of relaxing' is unnatural; use 'a relaxing outing'.

× I think when I share with my friends, I often share news about a new band of K pop music or, uh, new useful books I have bought because my friends are a big fan of K pop singers and.

✓ I think when I share with my friends, I often share news about a new K-pop band or new useful books I have bought because my friends are big fans of K-pop singers.

Use 'a new K-pop band' not 'a new band of K pop music'. Hyphenate 'K-pop' conventionally. 'Friends are a big fan' is incorrect; use plural 'friends are big fans'. Remove trailing conjunction and complete the sentence.

× Absolutely, she was not good at English. So our news, my new share with my friends is very useful and effective.

✓ Also, some of them are not good at English, so the things I share with my friends are very useful and effective.

Pronoun 'she' is unclear; use 'some of them' or 'some friends' to match plural. 'Our news, my new share' is awkward; rephrase to 'the things I share'. Ensure subject-verb agreement 'things ... are'.