分享— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, correct small grammar issues, and add a brief example or reason using a linking word. Keep answers under five sentences.

範例: Yes — my parents taught me to share when I was young because they believed it helps you get along with others. For example, they encouraged me to take turns with toys and snacks so I could make friends more easily.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and then add a specific example using a linking word. Replace vague phrases with precise items and avoid redundancy.

範例: I usually share food and non-personal items, such as books or stationery. For instance, I often lend a calculator to classmates when they forget theirs.

建議: Start with a clear statement and include a brief reason why those items shouldn't be shared. Use linking words like 'because' to show logic.

範例: Personal items like underwear, hairbrushes, and skin-care products shouldn't be shared because they can spread germs and affect hygiene.

建議: Provide a concise answer with a short context or reason; combine related ideas with a linking word for coherence. Use more natural phrasing (e.g., 'I gave' or 'I shared some snacks').

範例: Yes, recently I lent a pin to a friend who needed it for his shirt, and we also shared some snacks while we were out studying together.

建議: Avoid exaggerated or culturally specific metaphors like 'they are like God'; instead state emotion briefly and add a reason. Keep sentences natural and avoid repetitions.

範例: I would tell my parents first because they support me and always celebrate my successes. For example, when I got a scholarship, they were the first people I called.

建議: Be specific and natural: start with a topic sentence, then give one or two clear examples connected with linking words like 'for example'. Avoid small grammar mistakes and keep it concise.

範例: I usually share happy news with friends, for example when I got a 3.4 GPA or when I buy new shoes. I tell them because we like to celebrate each other's achievements.

× Yes, they definitely did teach me to share during my childhood so.

✓ Yes, they definitely taught me to share during my childhood.

The sentence uses 'did teach' which is an unnecessary emphatic past construction; the simple past 'taught' is more natural. Also 'so' at the end is informal and redundant. Use 'taught' to match the past timeframe and remove 'so'.

× They thought that it is really essential habit for us humans to be social.

✓ They thought that it was a really essential habit for us to be social.

The reporting verb 'thought' is in the past, so the subordinate clause should use past tense ('was') for sequence of tenses. Also include the article 'a' before 'really essential habit' and remove 'humans' which is redundant; 'us' suffices. (Grammar problem type matched: Past tense issue and sentence structure.)

× I like to share food items, my belongings which are not really personal to me and other things which my peers may require.

✓ I like sharing food, belongings that are not personal to me, and other things my peers might need.

After 'like' both 'to share' and 'sharing' are possible; 'like sharing' is more natural here. Simplify 'food items' to 'food' and use 'that' for defining relative clauses. Use 'might need' for polite/modal possibility instead of 'may require'. (Grammar problem type matched: Verb + -ing form.)

× Personal things such as clothes and hair products as well as skin care products are not suitable for sharing with friends or any other person.

✓ Personal things, such as clothes, hair products, and skincare products, are not suitable for sharing with friends or other people.

Add commas to set off the list and use 'skincare' as a compound noun. 'Any other person' is wordy; 'other people' is more natural and plural to match 'friends'. Ensure parallel list structure. (Grammar problem type matched: Article errors / sentence structure.)

× Yes, I shared a pin with my friend recently and also I shared snacks when we were out.

✓ Yes, I shared a pin with my friend recently, and I also shared snacks when we were out.

Use simple past 'shared' consistently; add a comma before the coordinating conjunction for clarity and place 'also' after the subject 'I' for natural word order. (Grammar problem type matched: Past tense issue.)

× If I had to share good news, it will definitely be my parents as they are really important to me and I believe that good news should be first told to parents as they are like God to us.

✓ If I had to share good news, it would definitely be with my parents, as they are very important to me, and I believe good news should be told to parents first because they mean a lot to us.

The conditional 'If I had to' requires 'would' not 'will' for standard second conditional. Use 'with my parents' rather than 'my parents' as recipient. Move 'first' after 'told to parents' for natural order and avoid culturally sensitive similes like 'they are like God to us'; replace with 'they mean a lot to us'. (Grammar problem type matched: Modal verb usage and sentence structure.)

× I share good news such as my mark sheet which I recently got and it was 3.4 GPA.

✓ I share good news, such as my recent mark sheet; I recently received a GPA of 3.4.

Use consistent tense and clearer phrasing: 'recent mark sheet' and 'received' in past for obtaining the result. Avoid 'it was 3.4 GPA' which is awkward; say 'a GPA of 3.4'. (Grammar problem type matched: Present tense issue and sentence structure.)

× I shared when I get new shoes or any new clothings as I'm very happy at that moment.

✓ I share when I get new shoes or new clothes because I am very happy in that moment.

Maintain tense consistency: for habitual present use 'I share' and 'I get'. 'Clothings' is incorrect; use the uncountable plural 'clothes'. Use 'because' rather than 'as' for clarity, and 'in that moment' or 'at that moment' (prefer 'in that moment' for emotional state) though 'at that moment' is also acceptable. Also choose present simple if talking about habitual sharing. (Grammar problem type matched: Verb + -ing form and Article errors.)