自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: give a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., “birthday” twice) and minor grammar errors (use articles and correct verb forms). Also vary vocabulary (use ‘tuition classes’ or ‘extra lessons’), and finish with a brief personal comment. Keep to a maximum of about 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I had a bike as a child. My father bought it for my birthday when I was in eighth grade, and I often rode it to school and to my tuition classes. I really enjoyed the freedom it gave me and used it almost every day.

建議: Organize your answer with a direct opinion sentence, then give a specific reason or example using linking words (e.g., 'because', 'for example'). Avoid unclear phrases and repetitions, and use correct tense and plural forms. Be specific about who uses bikes (students, commuters) and why (cost, convenience, image). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, bikes are very popular in my country because they are cheap and convenient for short trips. For example, many students and commuters ride bikes to school or work, and children often ask their parents for one because it feels independent and fashionable.

× Uh, yes. I did have a bike when I was a child.

✓ Uh, yes. I had a bike when I was a child.

Using 'did have' is unnecessary for a simple past affirmative statement; the correct simple past form is 'had'. Use 'did' + base verb only for emphasis or in questions/negatives. To improve, say 'I had a bike when I was a child.'

× So my father bought me a bike for my birthday, birthday gift, and it was when I was in the eighth grade.

✓ My father bought me a bike as a birthday gift when I was in the eighth grade.

The original repeats 'birthday' and has awkward word order. Combine ideas: 'bought me a bike as a birthday gift' and place the time clause 'when I was in the eighth grade' at the end for clarity.

× So I usually took my bike to the school and even to the tuition.

✓ I usually took my bike to school and even to tuition classes.

The verb 'took' is past tense which matches context, but 'the school' is unnatural here; use 'to school'. 'Tuition' in this context needs a noun: 'tuition classes'. Maintain past tense consistency and correct noun usage.

× I really enjoyed bike.

✓ I really enjoyed riding my bike.

'Enjoyed bike' is incorrect because 'enjoy' needs a verb or a determiner plus noun; idiomatic expression is 'enjoy riding my bike' or 'enjoyed my bike'. Use the gerund 'riding' to express the activity.

× Yes, bikes are really popular in my country so when I was in a child we like my whole friend book we were like asking our parents to buy us a bike because having the bike made made us look really cool and independent and we after we get to bike we really used to enjoy the.

✓ Yes, bikes are really popular in my country. When I was a child, my friends and I often asked our parents to buy us a bike because having a bike made us look cool and independent, and after we got a bike we really enjoyed riding it.

The original sentence has many issues: wrong phrase 'in a child' (should be 'a child'), incorrect word order 'we like my whole friend book', repeated 'made', tense and form errors 'after we get to bike', and incomplete ending. Break into two sentences, correct pronouns to 'my friends and I', use past tense consistently ('asked', 'got'), remove repetition, and complete the final clause with 'enjoyed riding it' for clarity.