自行车— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and use correct pronouns and tense. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repetition and long run-on sentences; vary sentence structures and correct grammar (e.g., use "I didn't have" not "you didn't have"). Use linking words like "so" or "because" appropriately and correct plurality (cousin → cousins if plural).

範例: I didn’t have a bike when I was a child. Because we couldn’t afford one, I usually borrowed bikes from our neighbors. I could also ride occasionally when we visited the province, where one of my cousins owned a bike, and that’s where I practised most.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and support it with two specific reasons, using correct grammar and linking words. Avoid filler words and repetition. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., "traffic congestion" rather than vague phrases) and correct subject-verb agreement (Philippines plural -> "the Philippines has").

範例: Yes, bikes are popular in the Philippines. Firstly, many streets and residential areas are narrow, so bicycles are more convenient than cars. Secondly, cycling is inexpensive and environmentally friendly because you don’t need fuel, which makes it an affordable choice for many people.

× So that's why I would only borrow from my neighbors and I would only be able to ride a bike whenever we go to the province where one of my cousin have his bike.

✓ So that's why I would only borrow from my neighbors, and I was only able to ride a bike whenever we went to the province where one of my cousins had his bike.

Errors: 'go' should be past tense 'went' to match past narrative (Present tense issue ID 6 / Past tense issue ID 5) and 'have' should be past 'had' (Third person singular issue ID 2 / Past tense issue ID 5). Also 'one of my cousin' is singular mismatch; it should be 'one of my cousins'. Suggestions: Use past tense consistently when describing childhood events. Use 'one of my cousins' to indicate membership and 'had' for past possession. Use commas to separate clauses for clarity.

× When I was a child, you didn't have any bike because we couldn't afford it.

✓ When I was a child, we didn't have any bikes because we couldn't afford them.

'You didn't have any bike' is incorrect pronoun and count noun usage. Use 'we' to refer to family circumstances and 'bikes' (plural) or 'a bike' with appropriate article. Also 'any bike' should be 'any bikes' or 'a bike'. 'Them' matches plural object. Suggestion: Match subject pronoun to context and make noun number agree with quantifier 'any'.

× So so that's when I can only practice.

✓ So that's when I could only practice.

'can' is a present tense modal; the narrative is in the past, so use past modal 'could'. Remove duplicated 'so'. Suggestion: Use 'could' to talk about ability in the past and avoid filler repetition.

× Yes, I believe that bikes are popular in my country, especially that the Philippines have more narrow spaces so it would be very accessible for most Filipinos to have their bikes.

✓ Yes, I believe that bikes are popular in my country, especially because the Philippines has many narrow streets, so bicycles are very accessible for most Filipinos.

Problems: 'especially that' is unnatural; use 'especially because'. 'The Philippines have' should be 'the Philippines has' in this context (country name treated as singular), or keep plural but adjust verb—commonly 'the Philippines is' or 'the Philippines has'. 'More narrow spaces' is awkward; use 'many narrow streets' or 'narrow spaces'. 'It would be very accessible' is unclear subject and conditional; better: 'bicycles are very accessible'. Suggestion: Rephrase for clarity, use correct subject-verb agreement for country reference, and ensure logical subject for 'accessible'.

× As well as that it would also very cheap.

✓ Also, they are very cheap.

Original sentence lacks verb and has awkward structure. 'It would also very cheap' misses 'be' and uses conditional 'would' incorrectly. Better to state 'they are very cheap' referring to bikes. Suggestion: Use a clear subject ('they' or 'bicycles') and an appropriate verb form ('are') when describing general facts.

× Like you you you don't need to use a gas or anything, just you know, minor.

✓ For example, you don't need to use gas or anything; maintenance is minor.

Problems: Repetition 'you you you' and filler 'you know' are informal and should be removed. 'Use a gas' is incorrect article usage—'gas' doesn't need 'a'. 'Just ... minor' lacks a clear noun; 'minor' what? Clarify by specifying 'maintenance'. Suggestion: Keep examples concise, remove fillers, use correct articles, and complete the idea by naming what is minor (e.g., maintenance).