学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more grammatical: start with a direct topic sentence stating your status, then give one or two brief specific details (what you finished, what you plan next). Avoid filler words and unclear phrases.

範例: I am a student. I recently completed my FSA exams and I am now preparing my documents because I plan to start studying in April. Currently I study at Sapphire Institute, and I hope to continue my studies at USF.

建議: Give a direct location and one clear reason. Use accurate nouns (e.g., institute, program) and avoid unclear words. Keep sentences short and coherent with linking words like 'but' or 'now'.

範例: I started my schooling in Swat, but now I am studying in Peshawar because there is a well-known institute for the arts here. I chose this institute to prepare for the requirements to study in the USA.

建議: Answer directly and support with one specific example. Use correct adjectives (e.g., 'good', 'qualified') and avoid repetition. Make the supporting detail clear and relevant.

範例: Yes, it is a good place to study because the teachers are well qualified. For example, my computer science teacher is experienced and also helps me improve my English, which has been very helpful.

建議: Good direct answer and useful specific details. Improve cohesion by using linking words and correct collocations (e.g., 'air conditioning', 'lighting', 'ventilation'). Limit to three sentences maximum.

範例: Yes. I would like the institute to install air conditioning because classrooms get very hot. Also, improving lighting and ventilation would provide more natural light and fresh air, which helps me concentrate for longer periods.

建議: State your main plan clearly, then give concise reasons and one specific goal. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases ('prepare for my eyes' is unclear). Use linking words like 'because' and 'also'.

範例: I plan to continue my higher education in the USA because I want to qualify as a nurse. I am now preparing for the required exams and documents so that I can meet the admission requirements and achieve my dream.

× Actually I'm student and I recently done my FSA and I want to prepare bow my eyes because I want to study in April.

✓ Actually I'm a student and I recently finished my FSA and I want to prepare for my IELTS because I want to study in April.

Multiple issues: missing article before 'student' (use 'a'), incorrect past tense 'done' should be 'finished' (past tense issue), incorrect phrase 'prepare bow my eyes' is likely a misphrasing; context suggests 'prepare for my IELTS' (sentence structure and word choice). Suggestion: include correct article, use proper past tense verb, and use the standard phrase 'prepare for' plus the exam name. Ensure clarity by using 'IELTS' if that is intended.

× So I'm a student in now in Sapphire and uh I really want to be a student in USF.

✓ So I'm a student now at Sapphire and I really want to study at USF.

Awkward word order 'in now in Sapphire' should be 'now at Sapphire' (preposition and sentence structure). 'Be a student in USF' is better as 'study at USF' to match common collocations. Suggestion: place 'now' after the verb and use 'at' for institutions.

× Actually I joined my school and college journey in Swat, but now I'm still I'm studying in a shower because in Peshawar there is very high institute for arts and I want to study here because I want to pass my aids and study in USA and I hope that I will. Require.

✓ I began my schooling and college journey in Swat, but now I'm studying in Peshawar because there is a well-known institute for the arts here. I want to study here to complete my A-levels (or 'A-ids' if intended) and then study in the USA, and I hope I will succeed.

This sentence contains many structure and word-choice problems: 'joined my school and college journey' is awkward — use 'began my schooling and college education' (sentence structure). 'I'm studying in a shower' is likely a mispronunciation; context indicates 'Peshawar'. 'Very high institute' should be 'well-known' or 'reputable institute' (incorrect adjective use). 'Pass my aids' seems to mean 'pass my A-levels' or equivalent — clarify. The fragment 'and I hope that I will. Require.' is ungrammatical; replace with 'and I hope I will succeed.' Suggestion: split into shorter sentences, correct place names, and use clear terms for qualifications.

× Yes, yes, it is very capable place to study because here are like provided teachers and they are well known in their studies.

✓ Yes, it is a very good place to study because there are experienced teachers here and they are well known in their fields.

Missing indefinite article before 'very capable place' -> should be 'a very good place' (article and adjective choice). 'Here are like provided teachers' is ungrammatical — use 'there are experienced teachers here.' 'Well known in their studies' should be 'well known in their fields' or 'well known for their expertise.' Suggestion: use appropriate articles and collocations such as 'a ... place' and 'experienced teachers.'

× For instance when I was in science, so they so computer Micelle do computer science and he teach me English.

✓ For instance, when I studied science, there was a teacher who taught computer science and another who taught me English.

Tense and verb forms are incorrect: 'when I was in science' should be 'when I studied science' (verb form). 'He teach me' requires past tense 'taught' (past tense/past participle). The original is also unclear about number and roles — split into clear clauses. Suggestion: use past tense consistently when describing past experiences and correct verb forms like 'taught.'

× So I would say it in Peshawar there's a lot of capable place to study.

✓ So I would say that in Peshawar there are many good places to study.

Subject-verb agreement and pluralization: 'there's a lot of capable place' should be 'there are many good places' (singular/plural and collocation). Use 'many' for countable plural 'places.' Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement with 'there are' when referring to plural nouns.

× Yes Sir. I would like to something like some change to the place where I study.

✓ Yes, sir. I would like some changes to the place where I study.

Unnecessary words and article misuse: 'I would like to something like some change' is ungrammatical. Use 'I would like some changes' or 'I would like to make some changes.' Suggestion: simplify and choose the correct verb or noun phrase.

× For example, in our class there is no AC and it is very hot and I want to change that.

✓ For example, in our classroom there is no air conditioning and it is very hot, and I want that to change.

'In our class' is acceptable colloquially but 'in our classroom' is clearer (preposition/context). 'AC' is informal — use 'air conditioning.' 'I want to change that' is understandable but 'I want that to change' or 'I want to fix that' is more natural. Suggestion: use precise nouns and more natural phrasing.

× And I think the lighting ventilation could be improved because better natural light and fresh air help me concentrate for long periods.

✓ And I think the lighting and ventilation could be improved because better natural light and fresh air help me concentrate for longer periods.

Word combination 'lighting ventilation' needs a conjunction 'and' between nouns. 'For long periods' is acceptable but 'for longer periods' better matches comparative improvement. Suggestion: separate nouns with 'and' and use 'longer' to show improvement in duration.

× My future study plans are I want to study in USA because I want to study in higher education and moreover I want now I want to prepare for my eyes because I want to complete the requirements and also I want to become a nurse in USA and it was my biggest dream and I will achieve.

✓ My future study plans are to study in the USA for higher education. I now want to prepare for my IELTS (or the required exam) so I can complete the requirements. I also want to become a nurse in the USA; it is my biggest dream and I will achieve it.

Run-on sentence with repeated phrases and incorrect verb forms. Use 'to study' after 'plans are' (infinitive). 'Study in USA' needs article 'the USA.' 'Prepare for my eyes' is unclear — likely 'IELTS' or another exam. 'It was my biggest dream and I will achieve' needs object 'it' and consistent tense: 'it is my biggest dream and I will achieve it.' Suggestion: break into several sentences, use infinitives for plans, include correct articles, and clarify exam names.