学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Ответ хороший по содержанию, но есть места для улучшения: сделайте вступительное предложение короче и более прямым, устраните лишние слова («because I want… next year» можно сказать короче), избегайте пауз и междометий, используйте связку для плавного перехода к мотивации. Также следите за согласованием времен и предлогами. Постарайтесь уложиться в 2–3 предложения.

範例: I'm a senior in high school studying geography and improving my English. I want to study tourism at university next year because I'm interested in travel and hospitality.

建議: Структура хорошая: тема — поддержка — причина. Исправьте артикли и порядок слов («a specialized boarding school named after…», «provides high-quality education»). Избегайте повторов и сократите до максимум четырёх предложений. Добавьте связующее слово при перечислении преимуществ (for example, additionally).

範例: I study at a specialized boarding school named after Ibra Al Qaeda in the city centre. It's my final year, and I enjoy it because the school provides high-quality education and, for example, offers many extracurricular activities.

建議: Ответ понятен, но есть ошибки в грамматике, повторах и лексике. Устраните повторы («provides provide» и «in different in different»), исправьте словосочетания на естественные («a strong academic reputation», «a supportive learning environment»), используйте согласованные времена («I have become more confident and developed…»). Свяжите причины и результаты союзами (therefore, as a result).

範例: Yes, definitely. The school has a strong academic reputation and provides a supportive learning environment. As a result, I have become more confident and developed several useful skills.

建議: Хорошая структура: мнение — объяснение — пример. Исправьте согласование и артикли («a new sports facility» или «new sports facilities»), избегайте общих фраз, дайте конкретные примеры практических уроков или видов спортивного оборудования. Используйте связки («for example», «such as») для ясности.

範例: Yes. I would like more practical lessons, such as field trips and hands-on workshops, and better sports facilities, for example a modern gym or football pitch, because these would make school life more enjoyable and more useful.

建議: Содержательно ясно, но есть паузы, неточности в лексике и одно предложение неясно («I hope that the reason will open…»). Уберите междометия («uh»), исправьте словосочетания («the hospitality industry», «I hope this will open many career opportunities»). Дайте одно конкретное пример возможной карьеры. Максимум 3 предложений.

範例: After graduating, I plan to study tourism at university because I'm fascinated by different countries, cultures and the hospitality industry. I hope this will open career opportunities in international travel, for example as a tour manager or in hotel management.

× Currently I am in my senior year of high school and I'm focusing on geography and learning English because I want to study tourism at university next year.

✓ Currently I am in my senior year of high school, and I'm focusing on geography and learning English because I want to study tourism at university next year.

The original sentence is mostly correct but missing a comma before 'and' joining two independent clauses. Add the comma for correct present continuous usage and clarity. Suggestion: Use a comma before coordinating conjunctions that join two independent clauses.

× I study at specialized boarding school named after Ibra Al Qaeda, which is located in the city center.

✓ I study at a specialized boarding school named after Ibra Al Qaeda, which is located in the city center.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'specialized boarding school'. In English, singluar countable nouns generally require an article. Suggestion: Use 'a' or 'the' before singular countable nouns when appropriate.

× The school has strong academic reputation and provides provide provides supportive learning education.

✓ The school has a strong academic reputation and provides supportive learning and education.

Missing article 'a' before 'strong academic reputation' and repetition/typo 'provide provide provides'. Additionally 'supportive learning education' is awkward; better 'supportive learning and education'. Suggestion: Add 'a' before singular noun phrases and remove duplicate words, choose natural collocations.

× The teachers encourage us to think critically and participate in different in different activities and competitions.

✓ The teachers encourage us to think critically and participate in different activities and competitions.

The phrase contains a duplicated fragment 'in different'. Remove the repeated words for grammatical correctness and clarity. Suggestion: Proofread to remove accidental repetition.

× As a result, I become more confident and developed many useful skills.

✓ As a result, I have become more confident and have developed many useful skills.

Mixed tenses: 'become' (present) and 'developed' (past) are inconsistent when referring to results of ongoing experience. Use present perfect 'have become' and 'have developed' to show change up to now. Suggestion: Use present perfect for actions or changes that started in the past and continue to the present.

× For example, I would like to have more practical lessons and a new sports facilities.

✓ For example, I would like to have more practical lessons and new sports facilities.

We have 'a' with plural noun 'facilities' which is incorrect. Remove 'a' or change to singular 'a new sports facility' if only one is meant. Suggestion: Match articles to noun number: 'a' with singular, none or 'the' with plural depending on context.

× I think these changes can make our school life more enjoyable and useful for students.

✓ I think these changes could make our school life more enjoyable and useful for students.

Using 'can' is acceptable but 'could' is more polite and hypothetical when suggesting improvements. This is a stylistic preference rather than strict grammar, but 'could' fits the conditional nuance. Suggestion: Use 'could' for polite hypothetical suggestions.

× After graduating from high school, I plan to study tourism at university.

✓ After graduating from high school, I plan to study tourism at university.

This sentence is grammatically correct. No changes needed. Suggestion: None.

× I'm fascinated by different countries, uh, cultures and hospitality industry.

✓ I'm fascinated by different countries, cultures, and the hospitality industry.

Missing comma after 'cultures' (Oxford comma optional) and missing article 'the' before 'hospitality industry'. Also filler 'uh' should be omitted in written form. Suggestion: Remove fillers and include articles before specific industries.

× Uh, I hope that the reason will open many career opportunities, especially in international travel and business.

✓ I hope that this will open many career opportunities, especially in international travel and business.

'The reason' is incorrect reference; likely 'this' (studying tourism) is intended. Also remove filler 'Uh'. Use 'this' as pronoun to refer to the previous statement. Suggestion: Use clear pronouns to refer to intended nouns and avoid fillers in formal speech.