学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and reduce redundancy. Use one or two supporting details about what you study or when you started.

範例: I am a student. I recently finished secondary school and I am now studying for a Bachelor of Computer Science, which I began this year.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words, and link the two locations with a cohesive connector. Be specific about why each place is useful.

範例: I usually study at home, particularly in my room because it is quiet and comfortable. However, I also go to the library when I need access to a wider range of textbooks and reference materials.

建議: Answer directly and correct common mistakes (e.g., 'quiet' not 'quite'). Use linking words and give a brief specific reason or example of how the environment helps your study.

範例: Yes, it is a good place to study because it is quiet and free from distractions. For example, I can focus on coding assignments for hours without interruptions.

建議: Be concise and correct grammar. State the change clearly, explain why it is needed, and give a specific example of how it would help your study.

範例: Yes. I would add a computer to my study desk because without one I find it hard to do online research and run programming exercises. With a laptop I could access tutorials and test code more easily.

建議: Give a clear, grammatically correct topic sentence about your plans, then briefly explain your reason and intended outcome. Correct tense and article use, and avoid repetition.

範例: I plan to do a master's degree in Computer Science after completing my bachelor's because I want to specialise in data analysis. With a master's degree I hope to qualify for better jobs as a data analyst.

× Since I have completed my secondary education this year only and I pursue my further education in Bachelor of Computer Science.

✓ Since I completed my secondary education this year, I am pursuing further education in a Bachelor of Computer Science.

The original mixes present perfect ('have completed') with simple present ('pursue') incorrectly. Use simple past 'completed' for a finished action with a time reference ('this year') and present continuous 'am pursuing' to describe an ongoing action. Also add articles and clearer phrasing: 'a Bachelor of Computer Science.' Suggestion: Use 'I completed' for past completed actions with time expressions and 'I am pursuing' for current ongoing studies.

× So yes, currently I am a student.

✓ So yes, I am currently a student.

This sentence is acceptable but word order is more natural with 'I am currently a student.' Place 'currently' after the verb to improve fluency. No tense change required.

× I try to study in my house, especially in my room where I find a quiet place.

✓ I try to study at home, especially in my room where I can find a quiet place.

Use 'study at home' (common preposition) rather than 'in my house.' 'Find' implies ability; 'can find' or 'finds' is more natural. This is a present tense/context usage improvement.

× Along with this, I also try to study in libraries where, uh, I could find various kinds of books related to my subject.

✓ In addition, I also try to study in libraries where I can find various kinds of books related to my subject.

Replace 'Along with this' with 'In addition' for formality. Use 'in libraries' is fine but 'could find' is incorrect modal choice for general ability—use 'can find.' Remove filler 'uh.' Suggestion: Use 'can' to express general ability or availability.

× According to me this is a good place because here I could find a quite environment.

✓ In my opinion, this is a good place because I can find a quiet environment here.

'According to me' is non-native; use 'In my opinion.' 'Could' is the wrong modal for general ability—use 'can.' 'Quite' is a misspelling of 'quiet.' Also move 'here' to the end for natural word order.

× Along with this nobody could distract me and I feel more engaged in my task.

✓ Also, nobody can distract me, and I feel more engaged in my tasks.

Use 'can' instead of 'could' for general ability/possibility. 'Task' is better plural 'tasks' for study activities. Add a comma before conjunction for clarity.

× Currently in my study room there is a lack of computer device which makes me difficult to research on a topic which I find is difficult.

✓ Currently, my study room lacks a computer, which makes it difficult for me to research a topic I find challenging.

'A lack of computer device' is ungrammatical—use 'lacks a computer' or 'there is no computer.' 'Makes me difficult to research' is incorrect; use 'makes it difficult for me to research.' Remove redundant 'which I find is difficult' and rephrase to 'a topic I find challenging.' Also add commas for clarity.

× So yes, I will.

✓ So yes, I will.

Sentence is grammatically acceptable but vague. Contextually it likely responds to 'Would you like... to make any changes?' and 'I will' is short but correct. No tense change needed. Suggestion: complete the thought ('Yes, I would like to make changes').

× I will preferably change my study table by including a computer device on it.

✓ I would prefer to change my study table by adding a computer to it.

'Preferably' is awkward; use 'would prefer.' 'Including a computer device on it' is unnatural—use 'by adding a computer to it' or 'by placing a computer on it.' 'Computer device' is redundant; 'computer' suffices.

× Since I have currently pursued my degree and bachelors of Computer science and I thinking of doing masters in the same field so that I could find a great job in the as a data analyst.

✓ I am currently pursuing my bachelor's degree in Computer Science, and I am thinking of doing a master's in the same field so that I can find a good job as a data analyst.

Use present continuous 'am pursuing' for ongoing study instead of 'have pursued.' Use 'bachelor's degree' and capitalize 'Computer Science.' Add 'a master's' and use 'am thinking' (include 'am'). Use 'can' not 'could' for future ability. Remove extra 'the' before 'as a data analyst' and use 'a good job' rather than 'great job in the.'