音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and remove hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with a linking word. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., “uplifted” or “energised”) and avoid filler words like “you know” and “umm.” Keep it to 3–4 sentences.

範例: I choose music based on my mood. For example, I listen to sad songs when I want to reflect or process emotions, because their lyrics help me feel understood. Conversely, I play upbeat, happy tracks when I need energy, such as before exercising or starting work.

建議: Good direct answer and relevance. Improve by tightening the reply, using linking words (e.g., “because” or “so”), and replacing vague phrases like “more performative” with clearer expressions such as “perform better” or “increase my stamina.” Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms raise my energy. For instance, I play energetic songs when I work out to increase my stamina and focus.

建議: Answer directly and avoid asking the examiner questions. Use past or future tense correctly and expand slightly: give a reason why you haven’t taken classes and mention any plans. Remove hesitations and irrelevant requests.

範例: No, I haven't taken any music classes. I haven’t had the time, but I might try an online course in the future to learn basic guitar or singing techniques.

建議: Good examples of activities. Improve fluency by avoiding repetition and hesitations, and give a clearer reason using linking words like “because” or “so.” Use a more natural phrasing for the effect of music (e.g., “helps me relax” or “distracts me from worries”). Keep to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I usually listen to music while doing chores like washing dishes, cleaning my room, or taking a bath. It helps me relax and stop overthinking, so I can focus on the task and enjoy the moment.

× It depends on my mood.

✓ It depends on my mood.

No correction needed; sentence uses present simple correctly to express general truth. (Included for completeness.)

× I prefer sad music, music when I am feeling down, feeling tired, or I just want to, you know, umm, feel the feelings that I'm feeling.

✓ I prefer sad music when I am feeling down, tired, or when I just want to feel my emotions.

The original sentence is repetitive and contains filler words and awkward phrasing ('feel the feelings that I'm feeling'). Simplify structure and remove fillers to make it grammatically correct and natural. Use parallel structure: 'feeling down, tired, or when I just want to...'. Replace redundant phrase with 'feel my emotions.'

× And I play happy music when I need a boost of power in my senses.

✓ I play happy music when I need a boost of energy.

'Boost of power in my senses' is awkward and non-idiomatic. Use 'boost of energy' which is a correct noun phrase. Present simple 'I play' is appropriate for habitual action.

× Yes, happy music can make me feel more excited and I usually play happy music when I am working out or when I need an energy boost so that I can be more performative in what I am doing.

✓ Yes, happy music can make me feel more excited, and I usually play it when I am working out or when I need an energy boost so that I can perform better.

Replace the repeated noun with pronoun 'it' for cohesion. 'Be more performative' is unnatural; use 'perform better.' Comma before conjunction improves readability. Present continuous 'I am working out' is fine for activities in progress or habitual contexts.

× Umm no I didn't. I don't take any music classes but in the future maybe you know what app is that? Can you try?

✓ No, I didn't. I haven't taken any music classes, but maybe in the future I will. What app is that? Can you show me?

Mix of tenses and informal fillers cause confusion. For past negative experience use 'I haven't taken' (present perfect) to indicate life experience up to now. 'In the future maybe' should be followed by 'I will' to show future intent. Clarify questions: 'What app is that?' and 'Can you show me?' are natural alternatives.

× Yes, most of the time. Most of the time I do that when I am washing dishes, when I am cleaning my room and having a bath because it makes me umm, not think of my thoughts and just listen to music and be present in life.

✓ Yes, most of the time. I do that when I am washing dishes, cleaning my room, or taking a bath because it helps me stop overthinking and just listen to music and be present.

Avoid repetition 'Most of the time' twice. Use parallel gerund phrases 'washing dishes, cleaning my room, or taking a bath.' 'Having a bath' is acceptable but 'taking a bath' is more natural. 'Makes me not think of my thoughts' is awkward; use 'helps me stop overthinking.' Keep tense consistent with present continuous for ongoing habitual activities.