音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 문법 오류와 중복 표현이 있습니다. 주제 문장으로 직접 답한 뒤, 이유와 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 명확히 연결하는 연습이 필요합니다. 예를 들어 동사 시제와 관사 사용을 바로잡고, 중복(‘happy mind’ 등)을 제거하며, 연결어(for example, because)를 사용해 논리적으로 확장하세요.

範例: I usually choose music based on my mood. For example, when I need to study I prefer calm, melancholic songs because they help me concentrate. On the other hand, when I’m in a good mood I play upbeat, happy songs to match my energy.

建議: 답변이 반복적이고 구어체 표현(‘you know’)이 많아 명료성이 떨어집니다. 직접적 주제 문장 뒤에 이유와 구체적 결과를 하나로 묶어 간결하게 말하세요. 연결어(because, so, for instance)를 적절히 사용하고 불필요한 반복을 줄이세요.

範例: Yes, it does. When I feel sad, I often play upbeat songs because they lift my mood and make me feel more energetic. For instance, listening to a lively pop playlist usually helps me smile and concentrate on tasks again.

建議: 응답이 어색하고 문법과 어휘 선택에 문제가 있습니다(‘not kind of music person’, ‘music like Academy’). 간단한 주제 문장으로 시작한 뒤 과거 경험과 현재 계획을 분명히 구분하여 말하세요. 구체적인 예(어떤 수업, 어떤 악기)를 들면 설득력이 높아집니다.

範例: No, I haven’t taken any formal music classes. I’m not really a musical person, but recently I’ve been thinking about taking beginner guitar lessons because I enjoy singing along to songs and want to learn an instrument.

建議: 답변이 중복되고 발음 묘사(‘UMM’)가 텍스트에 남아 있어 불명확합니다. 어떤 활동에서 왜 음악을 듣는지(공부할 때 집중을 위해, 운동할 때 동기부여를 위해) 간결하게 말하고 구체적 예시(플레이리스트 종류)를 덧붙이세요.

範例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other activities. For studying I play instrumental or lo-fi playlists to help me concentrate, and for workouts I use energetic pop or electronic tracks to keep my motivation high.

× I think it's really depends on my mood.

✓ I think it really depends on my mood.

The auxiliary it is unnecessary before depends; use simple present 'depends' with subject 'it'. Suggestion: remove 'it's' and use 'it really depends'.

× When I have to focus on my study, I try to listen kind of sad music to calm down.

✓ When I have to focus on my studies, I try to listen to kind of sad music to calm down.

Use plural 'studies' for general study activities (singular/plural issue). Also the verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' (incorrect use of prepositions). Suggestion: use 'listen to' and 'studies'.

× But when I feel so happy, I'd love to listen happy song with my mind.

✓ But when I feel very happy, I'd love to listen to happy songs to match my mood.

Use 'listen to' (preposition) and plural 'songs' for general preference (article/number issue). 'With my mind' is unnatural; use 'to match my mood'. Suggestion: use 'listen to happy songs' or 'a happy song' with appropriate article.

× Yes, I think so, because whenever I feel sad, I try to listen happy music to, you know, little bit feel a little bit more happy than now.

✓ Yes, I think so, because whenever I feel sad, I try to listen to happy music to feel a little bit happier than I do now.

Use 'listen to' (preposition) and comparative adjective 'happier' (incorrect use of adjectives). Remove filler 'a little bit' repetition and add 'I do' for clarity. Suggestion: say 'a little bit happier than I do now'.

× So I try to listen to music when I feel so sad, like happy music I mean.

✓ So I try to listen to music when I feel sad, I mean happy music.

'So sad' is conversational; use 'sad'. Reorder 'I mean' for natural English. Suggestion: simplify to 'when I feel sad' and place 'I mean' after the clause.

× None really.

✓ Not really; I haven't taken any music classes.

Fragment 'None really' lacks clarity and verb (sentence without a verb). Provide a full sentence with auxiliary to indicate experience. Suggestion: use 'Not really' followed by explanation.

× Actually I'm not kind of music person, so I never take any music like Academy or something like music classes.

✓ Actually I'm not really a musical person, so I've never taken any music classes or attended a music academy.

Use 'not really a musical person' (adjective form). Use present perfect 'I've never taken' for life experience. 'Music classes' is correct noun phrase; 'Academy' should be 'a music academy'. Suggestion: use 'a musical person' and 'I've never taken any music classes'.

× But you know, these days I think if I have any free time I try to do it because music makes me happy or sad, whatever I listen.

✓ But you know, these days if I have any free time I try to take lessons because music affects my mood depending on what I listen to.

Tense and phrasing unclear. Use present simple for habitual actions. 'Do it' is vague; specify 'take lessons'. 'Whatever I listen' needs 'to' (preposition) and clearer structure. Suggestion: 'music affects my mood depending on what I listen to'.

× Yes I do like when I have to study UMM I always bring the air pass to listen to music and also when I have to work out I always bring it again to focus on my UMM to concentrate something.

✓ Yes I do. When I study I always bring my earphones to listen to music, and I also take them when I work out to help me concentrate.

'Air pass' is incorrect; 'earphones' or 'headphones' is correct (word choice). 'To focus on my UMM' is unclear; use 'to help me concentrate'. Remove filler 'UMM'. Use 'take them' rather than 'bring it again'. Suggestion: say 'I bring my earphones when I study and when I work out to help me concentrate'.