音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and clear. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid fillers (um, uh) and repetition, and give one specific reason with a brief example. Use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: I prefer happy music because it uplifts my mood and boosts my energy. For example, I often play upbeat pop songs when I need motivation to exercise or start my day.

建議: Avoid hesitation and repetition. Give a clear topic sentence, then add a specific supporting detail using a linking word (e.g., because, so). Keep it within 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more excited because it has upbeat rhythms and cheerful melodies. For instance, when I hear fast pop or dance tracks, I immediately feel more energetic and motivated.

建議: Be direct and avoid awkward phrasing. State the fact clearly, then explain briefly why with a specific reason. Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas and trim unnecessary words.

範例: No, I haven't taken any music classes other than the mandatory lessons in middle school because I don't plan to pursue music academically. I enjoy listening to music more than studying it formally.

建議: Organize your answer: give a clear yes/no, then two concise supporting details with linking words. Remove fillers and provide one short example of when it helps or distracts.

範例: Yes, I usually listen to music while doing chores or homework because it makes tasks feel quicker and more enjoyable. However, sometimes it can be distracting when I need to concentrate on difficult tasks, so I switch to instrumental music or turn it down.

× I would say I prefer happy music because it can uplift my mood and bring me good emotions along with listening to music.

✓ I would say I prefer happy music because it can uplift my mood and bring me positive feelings when I listen to music.

The phrase 'bring me good emotions along with listening to music' uses pronoun/reference awkwardly and unidiomatic noun choice. Replace 'good emotions' with 'positive feelings' and rephrase 'along with listening to music' to 'when I listen to music' for clarity and natural pronoun/reference usage.

× Umm although happy music isn't my most preferred music type but I would prefer more than sad music.

✓ Although happy music isn't my favorite type, I prefer it to sad music.

The sentence contains a redundancy: both 'although' and 'but' should not be used together. 'Most preferred music type' is wordy; use 'favorite type.' Use comparative structure 'prefer X to Y.' This corrects sentence structure and makes it concise.

× Yes, uh, happy music does make me feel more excited and most Ty in most case, uh, happy music have very umm, cheerful tunes.

✓ Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited, and in most cases, happy music has very cheerful tunes.

Subject-verb agreement error: 'happy music have' should be 'happy music has' (third person singular). Also 'most Ty in most case' is garbled; replace with 'in most cases' for correct adverbial phrase.

× Therefore, uh, it just naturally makes me feel feel more excited and uh.

✓ Therefore, it just naturally makes me feel more excited.

There is a duplicated word 'feel' and unnecessary filler 'uh.' Removing duplication and fillers results in a grammatically correct clause. The verb 'makes me feel' correctly uses base verb after 'make.'

× Aside from the mandatory music lessons that are taught in middle school, I haven't taken any music classes.

✓ Aside from the mandatory music lessons taught in middle school, I haven't taken any music classes.

Original is mostly correct but 'that are taught' is wordy; using the reduced relative clause 'taught in middle school' is more natural. Tense (present perfect) is appropriate for past experience up to now.

× It isn't something that I particularly want to learn or deeply interested in where I want to pursue academically.

✓ It isn't something I particularly want to learn or am deeply interested in pursuing academically.

Mix of structures: 'want to learn' requires parallel structure with 'am deeply interested in pursuing.' Use 'am' before 'deeply interested' and 'pursuing' as the verb to make the clause grammatical and parallel.

× So yeah, I would rather listen to than learn about music.

✓ So yeah, I would rather listen to music than learn about it.

Incorrect word order: 'listen to than learn about music' is ungrammatical. Use 'listen to music than learn about it' to make the comparison clear and grammatically correct.

× Yes, I most of the time listen to music while doing other things such as chores or homework.

✓ Yes, most of the time I listen to music while doing other things such as chores or homework.

Word order: place adverbial phrase 'most of the time' before the subject or after auxiliary; 'I most of the time listen' is awkward. 'Most of the time I listen' is more natural in present simple describing habitual action.

× I feel like they make uh, doing set tasks so much more easier or umm, let's say bright umm, sometimes uh, although sometimes it can be a little distracting but I do like to at least.

✓ I feel like they make doing regular tasks much easier or, let's say, more pleasant; sometimes they can be a little distracting, but I still like to listen to music while working.

Pronoun 'they' is vague (refers to music — better use 'they' only if clear) and 'doing set tasks' is unnatural. 'More easier' is incorrect comparative (double comparative). Sentence fragment 'I do like to at least' is incomplete. Correction clarifies referent, fixes comparative to 'much easier,' completes the thought, and improves overall coherence.