音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundant phrases like “in the day” and fix prepositions. Use linking words such as “because” to connect reason.

範例: I usually prefer sad music because I find songs with touching stories more emotionally moving. For example, when a song describes personal loss or memory, it helps me reflect and feel connected to the lyrics.

建議: Open with a direct topic sentence, then give a brief contrast using linking words like “however” or “although.” Avoid repetition (e.g., “prefer sad songs better” is redundant).

範例: Not really; happy music rarely excites me. Although it sometimes makes me smile or want to dance, I generally prefer sad songs because they feel more meaningful.

建議: Correct grammar and clarify meaning. Use one clear sentence to answer, then give specific supporting detail about what you do instead of lessons. Remove filler words and unclear phrases like “the music failed.”

範例: No, I have never taken any music lessons. Instead, I learn by listening to recordings and watching performances online, which helps me pick up techniques informally.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and a specific reason using linking words such as “because” or “so.” Remove hesitations and vague phrasing like “I don't feel the road.” Be specific about how music helps you (e.g., stay alert, relaxed, less bored).

範例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing other things, especially when I drive, because it makes long trips less boring and helps me stay calm on the road.

× Actually it depends on my mood in the day, but I usually like to listen to sad songs, especially when there is a specific story on that song which is touching.

✓ Actually it depends on my mood during the day, but I usually like to listen to sad songs, especially when a song has a specific story that is touching.

Incorrect preposition 'in the day' should be 'during the day' (preposition use). 'There is a specific story on that song' is awkward and ungrammatical; use 'a song has a specific story' and change 'which is touching' to 'that is touching' for clarity and proper relative clause use.

× No, not really. I don't feel excited when I listen to happy songs. Maybe sometimes I feel happy and sometimes I dance, but overall I'm not into this type of music. I prefer sad songs better.

✓ No, not really. I don't feel excited when I listen to happy songs. Sometimes I feel happy and sometimes I dance, but overall I'm not into this type of music. I prefer sad songs.

'Maybe sometimes' is redundant; use 'Sometimes'. 'Prefer sad songs better' is redundant because 'prefer' already expresses comparison; remove 'better'. These are present-tense style and word-choice corrections.

× No, I have never took a music lessons.

✓ No, I have never taken music lessons.

With present perfect ('have never') the verb must be in past participle form 'taken' not simple past 'took' (verb in the past participle form). Also 'a music lessons' is incorrect article/number; use plural 'music lessons' or 'a music lesson' (article error and singular/plural issue).

× I just watch it and listening, listen to it and that's it.

✓ I just watch it and listen to it, and that's it.

Mixing verb forms: 'watch' and 'listening' are inconsistent. Use parallel verbs 'watch' and 'listen' (base form) or 'watching' and 'listening'. Also remove the extra 'listen to it' duplication.

× I'm not like, uh, educated person.

✓ I'm not, like, an educated person.

Missing article before 'educated person' (article error) and awkward word order. Insert 'an' and place 'like' as a discourse marker: 'I'm not, like, an educated person.'

× And the music failed, so I enjoy listening to it.

✓ I didn't study music formally, so I just enjoy listening to it.

Original 'the music failed' is ungrammatical and unclear. Rephrase to express intended meaning: likely intended 'I didn't study music' or 'I wasn't trained in music.' This fixes sentence structure and meaning.

× Yes I do, in fact it's uh, starting to be routine for me, especially when I am driving.

✓ Yes, I do. In fact, it's become a routine for me, especially when I'm driving.

'Starting to be routine' is awkward; use present perfect 'it's become a routine' to indicate a current habit. Also punctuation and contraction consistency improved.

× I like to listen to sad songs and sometimes happy songs while I'm driving so I don't feel, uh, the road.

✓ I like to listen to sad songs and sometimes happy songs while I'm driving so I don't feel bored on long drives.

Phrase 'I don't feel, uh, the road' is ungrammatical. Likely intended 'I don't feel bored on the road' or 'I don't feel the road' is incorrect. Replace with 'bored on long drives' for clarity and correct preposition use.