音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and add a clear topic sentence, then support with one specific example and a brief explanation. Use a linking phrase to connect reasons and avoid redundancy (e.g., combine nostalgia and classical preference into one coherent point).

範例: I prefer sad music to happy music. For example, melancholic tunes from my childhood make me feel nostalgic, and many European classical pieces—like Chopin nocturnes—express that mood, which helps me reflect and relax.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one focused example and explain the effect briefly. Use a linking word to show contrast (e.g., 'however' or 'whereas') if comparing to sad music.

範例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more energetic. For instance, upbeat songs in London pubs lift the atmosphere and make conversations livelier, whereas slow, sad songs tend to quieten the crowd.

建議: Give a clear opening sentence about whether you took classes, then add one or two specific reasons why you didn't enjoy them, with a linking word like 'because' or 'so'. Avoid repeating similar ideas (e.g., exam-focused and memorisation overlap).

範例: Yes, I took compulsory music lessons at school, but I didn't enjoy them because they were exam-focused and emphasised memorising facts about composers rather than practising instruments, so we rarely had time to play the piano or violin.

建議: Begin with a concise topic sentence, then give one clear, specific situation and explain the benefit. Avoid unclear phrases ('interpreting me') and keep sentences shorter for clarity.

範例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying to help me focus. For instance, when the accommodation lobby is noisy, I wear earphones and play instrumental tracks to block distractions and calm my mind.

× I generally prefer sad music to happy music because when I was a child, melancholic music was popular among young people, so I feel nostalgic when I listen to that kind of music.

✓ I generally prefer sad music to happy music because when I was a child melancholic music was popular among young people, so I felt nostalgic when I listened to that kind of music.

The sentence mixes past context ('when I was a child') with present simple verbs ('I feel', 'I listen'). This is a tense consistency issue: actions and feelings tied to childhood should use past tense. Change 'I feel' to 'I felt' and 'I listen' to 'I listened' to keep the same time frame and make the sequence clear. Also remove the comma after 'child' for smoother clause flow.

× In addition, I'm fond of listening to European classical music, and I think many pieces are expressively sad.

✓ In addition, I'm fond of listening to European classical music, and I think many pieces are expressively sad.

No grammatical change needed; sentence is correct. It uses present tense appropriately to express general preference and opinion. Included here to indicate no correction required.

× Yes, I often find happy music makes me feel more excited than sad music.

✓ Yes, I often find that happy music makes me feel more excited than sad music.

The original sentence is understandable but omitted the conjunction 'that' after 'find' which is often required for clarity in formal English. Adding 'that' improves sentence structure and clarity. Subject-verb agreement ('music makes') was correct.

× For example, when I go to pubs in London, there is a lot of uplifting music that makes socializing more enjoyable than sad and slow music.

✓ For example, when I go to pubs in London, there is a lot of uplifting music that makes socializing more enjoyable than sad, slow music does.

Comparing two things requires parallel structure. The original compared 'socializing' with 'sad and slow music' awkwardly. Adding 'does' clarifies the comparison: '...more enjoyable than sad, slow music does.' Also a comma between 'sad' and 'slow' improves adjective listing.

× Yes, I was required to take music lessons at school when I was a child, but I didn't enjoy them very much because lessons were usually exam focused and we had to remember a lot of facts about composers and pieces.

✓ Yes, I was required to take music lessons at school when I was a child, but I didn't enjoy them very much because lessons were usually exam-focused and we had to remember a lot of facts about composers and pieces.

Hyphenate 'exam-focused' when using it as a compound adjective before a noun. The tense usage is correct (past). The hyphen clarifies that 'exam-focused' modifies 'lessons.'

× Therefore we could not enjoy playing instruments such as the piano and the violin.

✓ Therefore, we could not enjoy playing instruments such as the piano and violin.

Add a comma after 'Therefore' as introductory adverb. Removing the second 'the' before 'violin' is more natural in list of instruments. Tense 'could not enjoy' is correct for past.

× Yes, I often listen to music while studying, especially when I want to concentrate.

✓ Yes, I often listen to music while studying, especially when I want to concentrate.

Sentence is grammatically correct; present tense appropriately expresses habitual action and present desire.

× For example, when I'm in the accommodation lobby and many students are talking loudly and interpreting me, I sometimes put on my earphones and listen to instrumental music to calm myself down and so that I'm not distracted.

✓ For example, when I'm in the accommodation lobby and many students are talking loudly and interrupting me, I sometimes put on my earphones and listen to instrumental music to calm myself down and prevent distraction.

The verb 'interpreting' is incorrect in this context; the intended meaning is 'interrupting' or 'making it hard to concentrate.' 'Interrupting' fits better. Also 'so that I'm not distracted' is wordy; 'prevent distraction' is more concise. The preposition use is otherwise fine.