音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid small grammar mistakes and redundancy. Use one concise sentence to state your preference, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Watch minor errors (e.g., “But and I’m out” should be “but when I’m out”) and punctuation.

範例: I usually choose music depending on my mood: when I feel lonely I prefer sad songs, but when I’m out with friends I like upbeat, happy music because it energises the atmosphere.

建議: Be careful with contradictory statements and repetition. Give a direct answer first, then briefly explain with a specific effect and one example. Avoid saying the same idea twice (e.g., ‘lightens up my mood’ and ‘make me feel happy’ are repetitive).

範例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because its fast tempo and positive lyrics lift my spirits; for example, I often play dance tracks when I need energy before going out.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and one concise reason, avoiding repeated words like “really.” You can add a brief reflection or what you did instead. Keep sentences grammatically correct (e.g., “in a really poor family” or “in a poor family”).

範例: No, I haven’t taken formal music classes because I grew up in a poor family and we couldn’t afford them; instead, I taught myself by watching online tutorials and practising with friends.

建議: Good direct answer with a clear example. Improve coherence by using singular/plural agreement and a linking word for the example. You can specify what kind of music helps you focus to add detail.

範例: Yes, I often listen to music while working because it helps me concentrate and blocks out distractions; for instance, I usually play instrumental or lo-fi tracks when I study to maintain focus.

× Whenever I'm sulky or feeling alone I prefer listening to sad music, But and I'm out partying or having fun with my friends, I prefer listening to happy music.

✓ Whenever I'm sulky or feeling alone, I prefer listening to sad music, but when I'm out partying or having fun with my friends, I prefer listening to happy music.

The sentence has incorrect conjunction usage and punctuation. 'But and' is incorrect; use the conjunction 'but' or 'while' to contrast ideas and include 'when' to introduce the second time clause. Also add commas after introductory subordinate clauses for clarity. Improve by removing the extra word 'and' and adding 'when' plus proper commas. Grammar problem type ID:16

× This type of music is very upbeat and it actually lightens up my mood whenever I feel lonely or sad, which is why I love listening to happy music whenever I feel sad to make me feel happy.

✓ This type of music is very upbeat and actually lightens my mood whenever I feel lonely or sad, which is why I love listening to happy music to make myself feel better.

The sentence contains redundant wording and incorrect reflexive pronoun usage. 'Lightens up my mood' is better as 'lightens my mood'. 'To make me feel happy' is unidiomatic; use the reflexive pronoun 'myself' and a concise phrase like 'feel better.' Also remove repeated 'whenever I feel sad' since it repeats the same idea. These changes improve clarity and grammar. Grammar problem type ID:12

× I grew up in really poor family and even though I really wanted to take music classes, I really didn't have the opportunity to do so and we were really not financially capable.

✓ I grew up in a really poor family, and even though I really wanted to take music classes, I didn't have the opportunity, and we were not financially able to do so.

The phrase lacks the indefinite article 'a' before 'really poor family'. Also 'financially capable' is awkward; use 'financially able' or 'could not afford it.' Remove repetitive 'really' for style and combine clauses with proper commas. These fixes address article usage and word choice. Grammar problem type ID:22

× Listening to music actually helps me focus more on the tasks at hand. They help me avoid distractions.

✓ Listening to music actually helps me focus more on the tasks at hand. It helps me avoid distractions.

The pronoun 'they' incorrectly refers back to the singular gerund phrase 'Listening to music.' Use singular 'it' or rephrase to 'Songs help me...' to match plural. Also ensure verb agrees with singular subject: 'helps' rather than 'help.' Grammar problem type ID:12

× For instance, whenever I am studying, I listen to music because it helps me stay on track.

✓ For instance, whenever I am studying, I listen to music because it helps me stay on track.

This sentence is grammatically correct and matches present tense habitual action, so no correction is necessary. Keep the present continuous 'am studying' with the habitual present 'listen.' Grammar problem type ID:6