音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one clear supporting reason with a specific example. Avoid redundancy and small grammatical errors (e.g., say “I prefer happy music” not “I more prefer”). Use linking words like “because” or “so” to connect ideas.

範例: I prefer happy music because it lifts my mood and helps me stay positive. For example, when I listen to upbeat songs in the morning, I feel more energetic and motivated for the day.

建議: Your answer is clear but slightly repetitive. Use one strong supporting detail and a linking phrase to make it cohesive. Replace repetitive words (e.g., ‘upbeat songs or energetic songs’) with a single precise phrase and avoid repeating ideas about sad music unless necessary.

範例: Yes, happy music makes me feel more excited because upbeat rhythms increase my energy and concentration. For example, when I play lively pop tracks while exercising, I feel more motivated and less distracted.

建議: Improve grammar and clarity: give a concise statement about your background, then one specific result of the classes. Avoid vague phrases like “all the music in the world” and unfinished comparisons. Use correct tense and phrasing (e.g., “I attended and graduated from my school’s music program”).

範例: Yes. I attended and graduated from my school’s music program, which taught me music theory and ear training. As a result, I can now identify melodies and rhythms in classical pieces and appreciate how composers build harmony.

建議: Be more natural and avoid awkward phrases like “keep forward” and “That's it.” Provide one clear example and explain briefly how it helps you. Keep responses within 3–4 sentences and use linking words such as “so” or “which” to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, I often listen to music while doing tasks because it makes chores less tedious. For example, when I clean my apartment I play energetic playlists, which lift my mood and help me work faster.

× I think I more prefer happy music because it uplifts my mood and brightens up my day.

✓ I think I prefer happy music more because it uplifts my mood and brightens my day.

This sentence uses incorrect word order with 'I more prefer' which is not natural in English. Move 'more' after the verb phrase: 'prefer ... more' or simply 'prefer'. Also 'brightens up my day' is acceptable but 'brightens my day' is more concise. Suggestion: place modifiers after the main verb and avoid redundant words.'

× For example, when I am listening to sad music, I am taking all the emotions from the song.

✓ For example, when I listen to sad music, I take in all the emotions from the song.

The original uses progressive forms incorrectly ('am listening' + 'am taking') where a simple present is more appropriate for general habits. Also 'take in' is the correct phrasal verb meaning to absorb emotions. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual actions and use the correct phrasal verb.'

× That's why it's not really good for me to stay in that mood and deepen it too much.

✓ That's why it's not good for me to stay in that mood and deepen it too much.

The phrase 'not really good' is informal and weak; removing 'really' makes the statement clearer. Structure is otherwise acceptable. Suggestion: avoid unnecessary modifiers and keep statements concise.'

× Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited.

✓ Yes, happy music definitely makes me feel more excited.

No grammatical correction needed; sentence is correct. (Included to indicate no change required.)

× For example, when I'm listening to upbeat songs or energetic songs, they make me feel more happy and focused on positivity, while when I'm listening to sad songs, they make me dwell on negative emotions.

✓ For example, when I listen to upbeat or energetic songs, they make me feel happier and more focused on positive things, while sad songs make me dwell on negative emotions.

Use simple present for habitual statements ('I listen'). 'More happy' should be 'happier'. 'Focused on positivity' is awkward; 'focused on positive things' or 'focused on positivity' is acceptable—changed to improve clarity. Also avoid repeating 'when I'm listening' twice. Suggestion: use comparative adjective forms and concise parallel structure.'

× Yes, I've actually visited and graduated from the music school at my school days and I think it gave me a proper education as well as appreciation for good music.

✓ Yes, I actually attended and graduated from the music school during my school days, and I think it gave me a proper education as well as an appreciation for good music.

'Visited' is incorrect for attending school; use 'attended'. 'At my school days' is ungrammatical; use 'during my school days'. Add article 'an' before 'appreciation'. Use simple past or present perfect consistently; 'attended and graduated' is natural. Suggestion: choose correct verbs for education contexts and correct time expressions.'

× For example, when I'm listening to classical music or all the music in the world, I can actually hear the notes and the rhythm of it even more effectively and more.

✓ For example, when I listen to classical music or any kind of music, I can actually hear the notes and the rhythm more clearly.

Use simple present for habitual actions. 'All the music in the world' is unnatural; use 'any kind of music'. 'Rhythm of it' is awkward—'the rhythm' suffices. 'Even more effectively and more' is redundant; 'more clearly' is concise and clearer. Suggestion: avoid redundancy and choose concise adverbs.'

× Yes, I prefer listening to music rather than listening to silence when I'm busy with other things.

✓ Yes, I prefer listening to music rather than silence when I'm busy with other things.

Avoid repeating 'listening to'. 'Rather than silence' is sufficient and more concise. Suggestion: omit redundant words for clarity.'

× For example, when I'm cleaning the apartment, I like to listen to energetic music because it brightens up my mood and gives me more energy to keep forward.

✓ For example, when I'm cleaning the apartment, I like to listen to energetic music because it brightens my mood and gives me more energy to keep going.

'Keeps forward' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'keep going' meaning continue. 'Brightens up my mood' can be simplified to 'brightens my mood'. Suggestion: use common phrasal verbs correctly and prefer concise expressions.'

× That's it.

✓ That's it.

This short response is grammatically correct and requires no change.