音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid repetition and tense errors (e.g., use “want” instead of “wanted”).

範例: I usually choose music based on my mood. For example, I listen to sad songs when I want to reflect on my feelings, but I prefer upbeat music to lift my spirits or help me focus while studying.

建議: Improve grammar and fluency: use correct verb forms and avoid filler words. Give one clear reason and a brief specific example, using a linking word to connect ideas.

範例: Yes, happy music usually lifts my spirits because its fast tempo and positive lyrics energise me. For instance, when I play an upbeat playlist after a stressful day, I quickly feel more cheerful and motivated.

建議: Be direct and expand slightly with a specific detail or alternative to compensate for lack of classes. Use correct tense (“I have never taken”) and avoid repetition.

範例: No, I have never taken formal music classes because I’m not a singer. However, I enjoy learning about music informally by listening to different genres and watching online tutorials.

建議: Correct repetition and be more specific about how music helps. Use linking words to organise reasons and give a short concrete example.

範例: Yes, I often listen to music while studying and cleaning because it helps me concentrate and improves my mood. For example, I play instrumental tracks to focus on homework and lively pop songs when I’m tidying my apartment.

× Sometimes I prefer sad music because I wanted to feel my mood and emotions.

✓ Sometimes I prefer sad music because I want to feel my mood and emotions.

The sentence mixes present simple 'prefer' with past tense 'wanted', which is inconsistent. Use present tense 'want' to match 'prefer' and express a general or habitual reason. Suggestion: keep tense consistent by using present simple for habitual statements.

× Meanwhile sometimes I listen to happy music to cheer me up or whenever I'm studying I can concentrate more.

✓ Meanwhile, sometimes I listen to happy music to cheer myself up, and when I'm studying I can concentrate better.

Run-on and awkward conjunctions make the sentence unclear. Add a comma after 'Meanwhile', use reflexive pronoun 'myself' correctly, replace 'or whenever' with 'and when' to connect two related ideas, and use 'better' (adverb) to modify 'concentrate'.

× Yes, listening to happy music lift my spirit and makes my mood happy and excited.

✓ Yes, listening to happy music lifts my spirits and makes my mood happy and excited.

Subject 'listening to happy music' is singular gerund, so the verb should be 'lifts' (third person singular). Also use plural 'spirits' (common collocation). Ensure verb agreement.

× Umm just like whenever I am in a bad mood and when I when I listen to happy music, I feel like happy.

✓ Just like whenever I'm in a bad mood, when I listen to happy music I feel happy.

Redundant phrases ('and when I when I') should be removed. 'Feel like happy' is ungrammatical—use 'feel happy' (adjective after verb 'feel'). Also streamline clause order for clarity.

× No, I never took any any music classes because as you can see, I'm not a singer.

✓ No, I've never taken any music classes because, as you can see, I'm not a singer.

Use present perfect 'I've never taken' to express life experience up to now. Remove duplicate 'any' and add commas for clarity.

× Yes, I listen to music whenever I study because it it gives me concentration and I also listen whenever I clean my apartment or my house in my hometown.

✓ Yes, I listen to music whenever I study because it helps me concentrate, and I also listen when I clean my apartment or my family home in my hometown.

Remove duplicated 'it', replace 'gives me concentration' with 'helps me concentrate' (natural collocation), use 'when' for time clause, and prefer 'family home' or 'house'—avoid repeating 'apartment or my house' awkwardly.

× It helps me boost my mood.

✓ It helps boost my mood.

Both forms are acceptable, but 'It helps boost my mood' is more concise; 'helps me boost' is less common. Use 'helps boost' to combine 'help' with a bare infinitive for natural phrasing.