音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words, and give one specific reason with a brief example. Use linking words for coherence.

範例: I prefer happy music. It helps me relax and boosts my mood after a long day, for example I listen to upbeat pop when I finish work to unwind and feel more positive.

建議: Correct grammar and be direct: answer the question clearly, use correct verb forms, and add a short specific example. Use a linking word to connect idea to example.

範例: Yes, happy music usually makes me feel more energetic and lifts my mood. For instance, after a stressful day I often play lively songs to relax and regain energy.

建議: Provide a clearer structure and more specific details: start with a topic sentence, then give concise supporting details (which instrument, how long, a short memory). Avoid filler words.

範例: Yes, I took music classes in primary school. The lessons were mandatory and lasted for three years; our teacher taught us basic piano and recorder, and I remember practicing simple songs every week.

建議: Make the answer slightly more specific and natural: state when and what type of music, give a brief reason and an example of how it helps. Remove fillers and keep it within 2–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, I often listen to instrumental or ambient music while working because it helps me concentrate and blocks out background noise. For example, I play soft electronic tracks during morning tasks to stay focused.

× I prefer happy music because I believe uh by listening to music people feel relaxed and feel happier.

✓ I prefer happy music because I believe that by listening to music people feel relaxed and become happier.

Missing conjunction 'that' and stylistic repetition. Adding 'that' clarifies the subordinate clause. Use 'become happier' instead of repeating 'feel' to avoid redundancy and improve flow.

× So I don't like sad music which makes me more negative.

✓ So I don't like sad music because it makes me feel more negative.

Relative clause 'which' is acceptable but here a causal connector 'because' is clearer. Also include pronoun 'it' and verb 'feel' to complete the thought and match natural English sentence structure.

× Is happy music always makes me relaxed and lifts up my mood, especially after a stressful day.

✓ Happy music always makes me relaxed and lifts my mood, especially after a stressful day.

The original incorrectly begins with auxiliary 'Is' creating an ungrammatical question form. Remove 'Is' to make a declarative sentence. Use 'lifts my mood' instead of 'lifts up my mood' for more natural phrasing.

× I took music classes when I was young.

✓ I took music classes when I was young.

Sentence is correct. Past tense 'took' correctly describes a completed action in the past; no change needed.

× During primary school, it was a mandatory class and the music teacher taught us how to play instrument and, uh, she played music for us.

✓ During primary school, it was a mandatory class and the music teacher taught us how to play instruments, and she played music for us.

'Instrument' should be plural 'instruments' because it refers to playing musical instruments in general. Also remove filler 'uh' and add a comma for clarity.

× I'd like to listen to music while I'm working because by listening to music I feel more concentrated and, uh, the music helps me filter out the ambient noise.

✓ I like to listen to music while I'm working because listening to music helps me concentrate and filter out ambient noise.

'I'd like' implies a hypothetical preference; 'I like' or 'I listen' fits better for habitual action. Use 'helps me concentrate' rather than 'feel more concentrated' for natural collocation. Remove filler 'uh' and simplify 'the ambient noise' to 'ambient noise' for naturalness.