音乐— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and structured. Start with a direct topic sentence (e.g. ‘I like both, but I prefer sad music.’), then give one or two specific reasons using linking words (because, for example, or so). Avoid repetition and correct minor grammar (e.g. ‘it makes me feel calm’).

範例: I like both sad and happy music, but I prefer sad music because of its tone. For example, when I listen to sad songs I feel calm and reflective, and they help me process my thoughts after a busy day.

建議: Answer the question directly first (yes or no), then explain briefly with clear reasons and one specific example. Use linking words (however, because, for example) and correct tense/grammar (e.g. ‘a few days ago’). Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

範例: Yes, happy music does make me feel more excited because it has an upbeat rhythm and positive lyrics. However, I often prefer sad music when I want to think deeply, for example a few days ago I listened to a slow song that helped me reflect on a recent decision.

× Actually I love both. I love sad music even when I'm happy I just can't explain but I just love it even when I'm happy I want to hear the I love the tone of sad music and it made me like calm.

✓ Actually, I love both. I love sad music; even when I'm happy, I can't explain it, but I just love it. Even when I'm happy, I want to hear it because I love the tone of sad music and it makes me feel calm.

This long sentence contains multiple problems: inconsistent tense (mixing past 'made' with present preferences), run-on sentence structure, missing punctuation, and awkward wording. Fixes: add punctuation and conjunctions to separate ideas, use present simple ('makes' not 'made') to match the speaker's ongoing preference, replace vague 'like calm' with 'feel calm', and remove redundant phrases. Suggestion: break into shorter sentences, keep tense consistent, and use clear connectors. Grammar problem type ID:6 & 5 & 26 & 20 & 13.

× Yeah, I love to hear sad music because I have a lot of real realizations from life from what I'm doing few days ago or a few weeks ago. And what did I feel on that days?

✓ Yeah, I love to hear sad music because I have had many real realizations about my life from things I did a few days ago or a few weeks ago. And what did I feel on those days?

Errors: incorrect past tense and perfect aspect ('have' should be 'have had' to show realizations resulting from recent past events), incorrect preposition and article use ('from what I'm doing few days ago' is awkward; use 'from things I did a few days ago'), incorrect plural agreement ('that days' -> 'those days'), and slight word choice problems ('a lot of real realizations' -> 'many real realizations'). Suggestions: use present perfect for experiences linked to the recent past, ensure noun-pronoun agreement for plural ('those days'), and revise phrasing for clarity.