教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and start with a clear topic sentence. Use one or two specific details (what the teacher did, one example) and a linking word to connect the effect on you. Avoid repeating ideas (believed/believing) and long subordinate phrases.

範例: Yes. My favorite teacher was my high school maths teacher because he always encouraged me to tackle difficult problems. For example, he stayed after class to explain proofs step by step, which improved my confidence and helped me pursue a nursing degree.

建議: Begin with a direct answer and simplify phrasing. Replace vague phrases (things that I do) with concrete examples of what you would teach and explain one clear reason or benefit, linked logically.

範例: Not as a professional teacher, but I would like to teach practical skills like basic first aid and patient care. This would help learners make better decisions in emergencies and stay motivated in healthcare careers.

建議: Give a concise topic sentence and then one specific example of how the teacher helped (a technique, advice, or activity). Use linking words (for example, as a result) to connect the help to your current situation.

範例: Yes. I remember my high school teacher who believed in me and helped me develop practical skills. For example, he encouraged me to lead a student health club, which improved my communication skills and, as a result, helped me become a more confident nurse.

建議: Answer directly and avoid repeating similar ideas. Use one linking phrase to explain how you keep in contact (e.g., via social media) and one brief example of interaction to make it specific.

範例: Not directly in person, but we stay connected through social media. For example, my primary teacher often comments on my posts and messages me on special occasions, so we keep updated about each other's lives.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence describing one concrete way the teacher helped (e.g., boosting confidence, giving practical training). Then give a specific example of their action and the result, linked clearly.

範例: He boosted my confidence by giving me responsibilities, such as leading class presentations. Because of that experience, I learned to trust my abilities and now I’m pursuing the career I dreamed of.

建議: Begin with a direct comparative statement. Provide one or two specific reasons with linking words (for example, because, since) and a brief example of how high school teachers supported you.

範例: I prefer my high school teachers because they recognized my potential and gave practical guidance. For instance, one teacher assigned me mentoring roles that developed my leadership and communication skills.

× there's this specific teacher that I like most because he was the one who always believed in me, especially when I was in high school, and I think it helped me a lot in achieving my dreams and never doubting myself.

✓ there's this specific teacher whom I like the most because he was the one who always believed in me, especially when I was in high school, and I think he helped me a lot in achieving my dreams and in not doubting myself.

Pronoun reference and verb clarity: 'that I like most' is informal and 'that' is less appropriate for people in formal writing; use 'whom I like the most'. Also 'I think it helped me' uses 'it' ambiguously; use 'he helped me' to refer to the teacher. Finally, use parallel structure 'in achieving my dreams and in not doubting myself' to be clear.

× Not necessarily a licensed professional teacher, but I want to teach other people the things that I do and the things that I am best at because it helps them learn more, decide what factors they must choose, and also it helps them keep driven.

✓ Not necessarily a licensed professional teacher, but I want to teach other people the things that I do and the things I am best at because this helps them learn more, decide what factors to choose, and also helps them stay motivated.

Modal and verb choice: 'must choose' is too strong; use 'to choose' for infinitive purpose. 'Keep driven' is incorrect collocation; use 'stay motivated'. Replace 'it helps' with 'this helps' for clarity and consistent subject reference.

× He was the one who truly believed in my capabilities and skills. And he has also helped me hone those skills that improved me to be a better person and to be someone that is inspiring to other people.

✓ He was the one who truly believed in my capabilities and skills, and he also helped me hone those skills, which helped me become a better person and someone who is inspiring to other people.

Incorrect use of 'improved me to be': 'improved' as past participle doesn't correctly link to 'me'; use 'which helped me become' for correct clause and verb form. Also combine sentences for better flow and use 'who' for people instead of 'that'.

× I am no longer in touch with my primary school teachers, however they are still connected with me through social media and they are engaging with me and other platforms as well.

✓ I am no longer in touch with my primary school teachers; however, they are still connected with me through social media and interact with me on other platforms as well.

Pronoun/reference and verb choice: 'engaging with me and other platforms' is unclear—people engage 'on' platforms, not 'with platforms'. Use 'interact with me on other platforms' and add proper punctuation for 'however'.

× So they are updated with my life, so am I to theirs.

✓ So they are updated about my life, and I am updated about theirs.

Incorrect pronoun and inversion: 'so am I to theirs' is ungrammatical. Use full clause 'I am updated about theirs' and 'updated about' is the correct preposition.

× My favorite teacher has helped me a lot because growing up nobody believed in me and my favorite teacher actually taught me how to stay true to myself and chase the dreams that I have and now I currently am living the dreams that I had before.

✓ My favorite teacher has helped me a lot because growing up nobody believed in me, and my favorite teacher taught me how to stay true to myself and chase the dreams I had; now I am living those dreams.

Tense consistency and redundancy: 'has helped' is fine as present perfect for lasting effect, but then use simple past 'taught' for completed action. Remove redundant words 'actually' and 'currently'. Simplify 'chase the dreams that I have' to 'chase the dreams I had' to match timeline and 'now I am living those dreams' for clarity.

× I prefer my high school teachers because they've seen me grow into someone who I am at my best, and they also saw the possibilities and capabilities in me which I did not, and they also helped me hone those skills to be a better person today.

✓ I prefer my high school teachers because they've seen me grow into the best version of myself, and they saw possibilities and capabilities in me that I did not see; they also helped me hone those skills to become a better person.

Pronoun and relative clause errors: 'someone who I am at my best' is awkward; use 'the best version of myself'. 'which I did not' lacks an object—use 'that I did not see'. Also change 'to be a better person today' to 'to become a better person' for parallel structure and clarity.