教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more direct and complete your idea: give a clear topic sentence saying who the teacher is and why you liked him, then add one or two specific supporting details (what he taught, a memorable action). Use correct tense and avoid trailing words. Keep it under 5 sentences and use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.'

範例: My favorite teacher was Sir Taylor, a college professor who inspired me. He was an excellent lecturer because he explained difficult ideas clearly and encouraged class discussions. For example, he stayed after class to help me understand a complex theory, which boosted my confidence.

建議: Organize the answer with a clear topic sentence stating whether you want to be a teacher, then explain briefly why using specific reasons and a linking word (e.g., 'however', 'because'). Remove hesitations and finish your thought. Keep it concise (1–3 sentences).

範例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher in the future because my favorite professor inspired me. He showed me how teaching can change lives, and that experience made me enjoy helping others learn.

建議: Begin with a direct topic sentence naming the teacher and when you knew her. Provide one or two specific memories or qualities that explain why she is memorable. Avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example.'

範例: Yes, I still remember my Grade 6 advisor, Teacher Karen, from elementary school. She was very kind and patient because she always listened to my problems and helped me build confidence, for example by praising my reading progress.

建議: Answer directly (yes/no), then give a brief explanation with specific details about how you are connected (e.g., Facebook only) and the frequency of contact. Use clear linking words such as 'but' or 'however' and avoid repetition.

範例: Not really. We are connected on Facebook, so I see their posts occasionally, but we do not communicate directly or meet in person.

建議: Start with a topic sentence summarizing how the teacher helped you, then give concrete examples (advice, actions, results). Use linking words such as 'for example' or 'as a result' and avoid repeating words. Keep it concise and grammatically correct.

範例: He helped me discover my goals and develop intrinsic motivation. For example, he advised me to study because I wanted to learn, not just to get grades, and as a result I became more focused and persistent in my studies.

建議: Give a clear direct answer (e.g., 'No, I don't') then explain with a concise reason and one specific contrast or similarity. Use linking words like 'because' or 'however' and avoid vague phrases like 'no likeness.'

範例: No, I don't like primary school teachers more; I value both equally because each group had a positive influence on me. For instance, primary teachers helped me build confidence, while high school teachers challenged me academically.

× Way back in college, I had one favorite teacher or professor, so his name is Sir Taylor.

✓ Way back in college, I had one favorite teacher, Sir Taylor.

The original sentence uses 'so his name is' which is awkward and unnecessary; it's better to introduce the teacher directly. Also 'teacher or professor' is redundant. Use a clear noun and correct pronoun/reference. Suggestion: keep introductions concise and use the appropriate title (teacher or professor) consistently.

× He was really a great one because he shared.

✓ He was really great because he shared his knowledge and experiences.

The verb 'shared' is incomplete without an object; the sentence is vague. Adding 'his knowledge and experiences' completes the idea and keeps past tense consistent. Ensure verbs have clear objects when required.

× Well, at first I when I took the my course, uh, education course, I really don't have a thought of being a teacher.

✓ Well, at first, when I took my education course, I really didn't have the thought of becoming a teacher.

Multiple issues: awkward word order ('I when I took the my course'), extra articles ('the my'), and tense inconsistency ('don't' should be past 'didn't') to match 'at first'. Also 'being a teacher' is better expressed as 'becoming a teacher' here. Suggest cleaning filler words and correcting tense.

× However, when I got inspired by my favorite teacher or professor, I somehow got to love being a teacher, especially when I had.

✓ However, when I was inspired by my favorite teacher, I came to love teaching, especially when I had hands-on practice.

'Got inspired' is colloquial; 'was inspired' is clearer. 'Got to love' -> 'came to love'. The clause 'especially when I had' is incomplete; add an object like 'hands-on practice' to complete the thought. Maintain past tense consistency.

× Yes, I do way back elementary D uh, elementary years.

✓ Yes, I do. Way back in my elementary years.

Original lacks proper structure and preposition 'in' is missing. 'My' clarifies possession. Remove filler sounds. Use a full sentence: 'Yes, I do.' then 'Way back in my elementary years.'

× My advisor during grade 6, uh, her name was teacher Karen.

✓ My advisor in sixth grade was Teacher Karen.

Avoid redundant pronoun 'her' after subject; restructure to 'My advisor in sixth grade was Teacher Karen.' Capitalize title if used as a name. Use 'sixth grade' instead of 'grade 6' in formal speech.

× She was really adorable, very kind and that left a marked in me.

✓ She was really adorable and very kind, and that left a mark on me.

'Left a marked' is incorrect; correct phrase is 'left a mark on me.' Also combine adjectives with 'and' and ensure idiomatic preposition 'on'.

× So I really.

✓ So I really admired her.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and object. Complete the thought by specifying what 'really' modifies, e.g., 'admired her.' Ensure sentences have subjects and verbs.

× Before we were, however, as time passed by like we're still connected in Facebook, I just saw their posts and other than that we don't communicate actually.

✓ We used to be, but as time passed, we're still connected on Facebook; I just see their posts, and other than that we don't actually communicate.

Original mixes tenses and has awkward phrasing. 'Before we were' is unclear; better 'We used to be.' Maintain present tense for current state ('we're still connected') and use 'on Facebook' not 'in Facebook.' 'I just saw' should be 'I just see' to match present situation. Place 'actually' before 'communicate' or after 'don't' for clarity.

× So we we are still.

✓ So we are still connected.

Original is incomplete and repeats words. Add 'connected' to complete the idea. Use correct preposition earlier ('on Facebook').

× My favorite teacher helped me a lot way back in discovering more of myself.

✓ My favorite teacher helped me a lot in discovering more about myself.

Use preposition 'in' plus gerund phrase 'discovering more about myself.' 'Way back' can remain but place it earlier if needed: 'Way back, my favorite teacher helped me a lot in discovering more about myself.'

× How to choose my motivation. Like 1.

✓ He taught me how to choose my motivation, such as intrinsic motivation.

Fragment 'How to choose my motivation' lacks subject/verb. 'Like 1.' is unclear. Reformulate into a complete sentence explaining the idea. Use 'such as' to introduce examples.

× He mentioned before that it is more important to have an intrinsic motivation than external external.

✓ He mentioned before that it is more important to have intrinsic motivation than external motivation.

Duplicate word 'external' removed. Use uncountable 'intrinsic motivation' without article. Ensure parallel structure: 'intrinsic motivation' vs 'external motivation.'

× There are no likeness in a certain degree.

✓ There is no likeness to a certain degree.

Use singular 'There is' for uncountable 'likeness' and correct preposition 'to a certain degree.' However 'likeness' is awkward here; better: 'There is no difference to a significant degree' or 'They are similar to a certain degree.'

× I just treated them as equal because they left an impact in me, like a strong impression.

✓ I just treat them as equal because they left an impact on me, a strong impression.

Tense: use present 'treat' to express general opinion. Preposition should be 'impact on me.' 'Like a strong impression' is redundant; rephrase to 'a strong impression.'

× So I'd rather say they are equal because they're both kind.

✓ So I'd rather say they are equal because they were both kind.

If referring to past teachers, use past tense 'were.' If speaking about their qualities in general, present tense can be used; context suggests past, so use 'were.'