教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more accurate, concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitations and incorrectly used words (e.g. “T-shirt” instead of “teacher”), and give one specific example of what makes him a role model. Limit to 3–4 sentences and use linking words for coherence.

範例: Yes. My favourite teacher is Mr Edward, who taught me at Grattan. He is a role model because he explains difficult ideas clearly and gives helpful feedback, so many students improved quickly.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and one or two clear reasons with correct vocabulary and grammar. Replace hesitations and wrong words (use “teacher” not “T-shirt”), use linking words like “because” and “therefore”, and avoid repetition.

範例: Not really. I wouldn’t want to be a teacher because the salary is relatively low compared with the lifestyle I want, so I cannot see it as a long-term career for me.

建議: Respond clearly and correct grammar and word choice. Start with a topic sentence, state the teacher’s subject and when you were taught, then give a specific example of how he helped students. Reduce hesitations and questions within the answer.

範例: Yes. I remember Mr Tisha, who taught me maths from grade 7. He made lessons easy to follow by using simple examples and one-on-one help for students who didn’t understand.

建議: Give a clear two-part answer: state whether you keep in touch and then express appreciation with specific words. Avoid fillers and incorrect tense or phrasing; use linking words like “however” to connect ideas.

範例: Not really, because my primary school was in another province so contact is difficult. However, I am still grateful to my primary teachers for giving me a strong foundation for later study.

建議: Be concise and specific: state exactly what skill you learned and one example of his method. Correct grammar (past tense, singular/plural agreement) and avoid repeated fillers. Use linking words like “for example” to illustrate.

範例: Mr Edward taught me how to structure essays. For example, he showed me how to write a clear introduction, develop two strong body paragraphs and finish with a conclusion, which made writing much easier to manage.

建議: Clarify your comparison and correct logic and grammar. Begin with a clear comparative sentence (I prefer X because...), explain one or two specific reasons, and avoid contradictory phrasing. Use comparative forms correctly.

範例: Yes, I prefer my primary school teachers because they were friendlier and more approachable than my high school teachers, which made it easier to ask questions and learn.

× Yes I do. His name is Edward.

✓ Yes, I do. My favorite teacher's name is Edward.

The student said 'His name is Edward' without introducing whose 'his' refers to; adding 'my favorite teacher' clarifies the referent and improves sentence cohesion. Also add a comma after 'Yes' for natural spoken punctuation.

× I first met him since I was in Grattan.

✓ I first met him when I was at Grattan.

Use 'when' rather than 'since' to indicate the time of a past event. Use 'at Grattan' (or 'in Grattan' if Grattan is a city) to show location; 'at' is natural for a school name.

× He's such a wonderful person.

✓ He is such a wonderful person.

Contraction 'He's' is acceptable in speech but keep full form 'He is' for clarity. No major grammar error; this is a stylistic suggestion to mirror formal responses.

× He's is a role model for a lot of students and umm, his teaching style is quite understandable compared to another T-shirt.

✓ He is a role model for many students, and his teaching style is easier to understand than that of other teachers.

Remove the extra 'is' (typo). Use 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for conciseness. 'Compared to another T-shirt' is incorrect: likely meant 'other teachers'; compare structures require 'easier to understand than that of other teachers.' This fixes subject-verb and comparison issues.

× Not really, T-shirt isn't my dream jobs because it doesn't pay enough to cover my life, the lifestyle that I want, umm teachers.

✓ Not really. Teaching isn't my dream job because it doesn't pay enough to support the lifestyle I want.

Use the gerund 'Teaching' to name the profession. 'Job' should be singular; 'dream job' is idiomatic. 'Pay enough to support' is a natural collocation; remove extra words and clarify meaning.

× So it's hard for me to consider it in long term.

✓ So it's hard for me to consider it in the long term.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'long term' and use the fixed phrase 'in the long term' to indicate long-term consideration.

× Yes, of course. Uh, his name is Tisha.

✓ Yes, of course. Her name is Tisha.

Use 'her' instead of 'his' to match the female name 'Tisha.' Pronoun must agree with the person's gender.

× Will he teach math? Since I was in umm grade 7?

✓ She taught me math since I was in grade 7.

The original contains question fragments and incorrect tense. Use past tense 'taught' for a past ongoing action starting in grade 7. Remove auxiliary 'will' and combine into a single declarative sentence.

× His teaching style is quite understandable and approachable for students to uh to who doesn't understand the topic.

✓ Her teaching style was clear and approachable for students who did not understand the topic.

Ensure pronoun 'her' matches 'Tisha.' Use 'clear' instead of 'understandable' for naturalness. 'Students who did not understand' is the correct relative clause; match tense to past context.

× Not really because my primary school was in another province so it's hard for me to communicate with them.

✓ Not really, because my primary school was in another province, so it's difficult for me to keep in touch with them.

Add commas for clarity. 'Keep in touch with' is the natural phrase for staying in contact; 'communicate with' is grammatical but less idiomatic here. Use 'difficult' for formality.

× But MMM, uh, recently, I'm still appreciate, uh, for, for uh teach.

✓ But recently I still appreciate them for teaching me.

Remove filler sounds and fix verb structure: 'I still appreciate them' (object pronoun) and 'for teaching me' (gerund) is correct. Original had fragmented and incorrect preposition use.

× I'm still appreciative to them for teaching me and uh, educate me for a higher.

✓ I am still grateful to them for teaching me and for preparing me for higher education.

Use 'grateful to them' or 'appreciative of them.' Follow with gerunds: 'for teaching me' and 'for preparing me for higher education.' 'Educate me for a higher' is ungrammatical and vague.

× Umm, Israel Edward teach me how to write an essay and that's what umm, quite a lot of umm, structure that he's have, uh, teach, but uh, by his teaching style, it's umm, quite, uh, easy, easily to understand and the student is umm, approachable.

✓ Edward taught me how to write an essay and gave me a lot of structure; his teaching style made the material easy to understand, and he was approachable to students.

Use past tense 'taught' for a past action. Remove incorrect name 'Israel' if unintended; keep 'Edward.' Fix noun-verb agreement: 'gave me a lot of structure.' Use 'easy to understand' (not 'easily') and correct 'students' plural and pronoun consistency.

× Yes, of course, because my primary school, uh, was in the another province, so the teacher is not, umm, more approachable and more, uh, friendly than my high school teacher.

✓ Yes, of course, because my primary school was in another province, so the primary school teachers were more approachable and friendlier than my high school teachers.

Remove article 'the' before 'another province.' Use past tense 'were' to match past context, pluralize 'teachers' when comparing groups, and use comparative 'friendlier' to compare. Reorder for clarity.