教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and use a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail. Avoid vague words like ‘pretty cool’ and replace with descriptive vocabulary. Use a linking word to connect reason and example.

範例: Yes. My favorite teacher was a college professor who taught logic. He made complex ideas simple and used real-life cases to illustrate arguments, so students could easily apply the concepts.

建議: Start with a direct topic sentence and limit to two sentences. Use linking words to list subjects and choose more natural phrasing for subject names (e.g., ‘the purpose of communication’).

範例: Actually, I am already a teacher at college. I teach courses such as the purpose of communication, argumentation and debate, and major English-language subjects.

建議: Use present simple for general memory (e.g., ‘I remember’) and be concise. Provide one specific detail (the grade is good) and link it to the effect on you with a connector like ‘so’ or ‘which’.

範例: Yes, I remember a teacher who believed in my potential; he gave me a 98 on an important exam, which made me feel confident and worked harder afterwards.

建議: Correct grammar and be concise. Replace ‘want’ with ‘went’ or better: ‘they are quite old’. Use linking phrase to explain reason briefly.

範例: No, I’m not. They are quite old now, and we’ve gone our separate ways as I grew up and moved on with my life.

建議: Use correct verb forms (e.g., ‘made me feel seen’) and be slightly more specific about how he instilled leadership (give one example or method). Keep to three sentences max and include a linking word.

範例: He made me feel seen and believed in me when others didn’t, which boosted my confidence. For example, he gave me leadership roles in class projects and taught me to take responsibility for group outcomes.

建議: Avoid repetition and correct tense mistakes. Use clearer contrast words (e.g., ‘whereas’). Be specific about what ‘world views of life’ means—mention topics or teaching style.

範例: I prefer my high school teachers because their teaching focused on critical thinking and life perspectives, whereas primary school teachers emphasized discipline and basic routines.

× He was one of my professors in college and he was teaching logic at that time.

✓ He was one of my professors in college and he taught logic at that time.

Use the simple past tense 'taught' instead of the past progressive 'was teaching' because the sentence describes a completed regular role in the past rather than an ongoing action at a specific moment. Use simple past for habitual or repeated past actions. Suggestion: Use simple past for roles or repeated actions in the past (he taught).

× He's my favorite because he's pretty cool and he delivers his lesson well, and he was also a comrade of mine.

✓ He's my favorite because he's pretty cool, he delivers his lessons well, and he was also a comrade of mine.

Subject-verb agreement: 'lesson' should be plural 'lessons' when speaking generally about how someone teaches. Use plural nouns for habitual actions. Also keep parallel structure with commas. Suggestion: Use 'lessons' for general performance over time and maintain parallel sentence structure.

× Well, I am already a teacher.

✓ Well, I am already a teacher.

No correction needed; sentence is grammatical. (Included only to show it was checked.)

× I teach college students on the subjects purpose of communication, argumentation and debate and major subjects in English language.

✓ I teach college students the subjects 'Purpose of Communication', 'Argumentation and Debate', and major subjects in the English language.

Preposition and article errors: use 'teach ... the subjects' rather than 'on the subjects'; add articles and correct noun order 'English language'; put course titles in commas or quotes and parallel structure for list items. Suggestion: Use 'teach ... the subjects' and include articles where needed, and list course titles clearly.

× Yes, I remembered this teacher because he was one of the teachers who believed in my potential and he gave me a grade of 98 and he was the one who made me feel that I am a brilliant student.

✓ Yes, I remember this teacher because he was one of the teachers who believed in my potential; he gave me a grade of 98 and made me feel that I was a brilliant student.

Tense consistency: 'remembered' should be present 'remember' when stating a current memory. Also maintain past tense for past events ('made me feel that I was'). Use punctuation to separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: Use present simple for current memories ('I remember') and past simple for past events.

× No, they want pretty old and I also grew up and we have shared different lives now.

✓ No, they went pretty old and I also grew up and we have led different lives now.

Pronoun and word choice errors: 'they want' is incorrect; should be 'they went' (past of go) meaning 'became' older. 'Shared different lives' is unnatural; 'led different lives' is the correct idiom. Also maintain tense consistency. Suggestion: Use 'went pretty old' or better 'have gotten quite old' and 'led different lives' for the idiom about diverging life paths.

× My favorite teacher has made me felt seen.

✓ My favorite teacher has made me feel seen.

After 'has made', the base form of the verb is used, not the past tense or -ed form. Use 'made me feel' rather than 'made me felt'. Suggestion: After 'make' in causative constructions use the base verb (make someone do something).

× He actually instilled in me the sense of being a leader and the sense of responsibility that I've always cherished for a long time.

✓ He actually instilled in me a sense of leadership and a sense of responsibility that I've cherished for a long time.

Word choice and redundancy: 'the sense of being a leader' is awkward; 'a sense of leadership' is more natural. 'I've always cherished for a long time' is redundant; 'I've cherished for a long time' suffices. Maintain present perfect for continuing relevance. Suggestion: Use concise nouns ('sense of leadership') and avoid redundant modifiers.

× I prefer my high school teachers more because of the pedagogical approaches.

✓ I prefer my high school teachers because of their pedagogical approaches.

Redundancy: 'prefer ... more' is redundant; 'prefer' already implies comparison. Also specify 'their' to clarify whose approaches. Keep the comparative idea clear. Suggestion: Use 'prefer A because' not 'prefer A more' and add possessive when referring to teachers' approaches.

× Of course, when I was in elementary school we were taught about discipline, but when I am when I was at my high school, I was taught with the world views of life.

✓ Of course, when I was in elementary school we were taught discipline, but when I was in high school, I was taught about worldviews and life perspectives.

Mixed tenses and phrasing errors: remove the duplicate 'when I am when I was' and use 'when I was' consistently. Use 'taught discipline' not 'taught about discipline' as both are acceptable but 'taught discipline' is cleaner. 'Taught with the world views of life' is ungrammatical; use 'taught about worldviews and life perspectives.' Suggestion: Keep tense consistent ('when I was') and use clear noun phrases like 'worldviews' or 'life perspectives'.