教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: ・もっと明確で簡潔なトピックセンテンスを使ってください（例："Yes, my favourite teacher was my high school English teacher."）。 ・

範例: Yes, my favourite teacher was my high school English teacher. She taught me not only grammar and vocabulary but also gave advice about future goals and study habits. Because of her support, I became more confident and organized in my studies.

建議: ・理由を述べるのは良いが、理由をもう少し具体的にし、接続詞で論理を明確にしてください（例："because..., so..."）。 ・冗長な表現（"in the future"繰り返しなど）を避けて簡潔に。

範例: No, I don't want to be a teacher. Although I enjoy helping people, I find that teaching often involves long hours and high stress, so I would prefer a job with more flexible hours and less administrative responsibility.

建議: ・文が混乱しているので、主題文と具体的な理由・例を分けて整理してください。 ・無駄な繰り返し（"teacher gave me"、"help me help me"など）を避け、時制と語順を正しく使ってください。

範例: Yes, I still remember my high school teacher. At the time I was anxious about starting university, but she gave me practical study tips and emotional support, which really helped me manage my workload and feel more confident.

建議: ・文法と語順を修正して簡潔に説明してください（"No, unfortunately. After graduating from high school, I moved to another city to continue my education."のように）。 ・"clear up"など不明瞭な表現は具体的な表現に直してください。

範例: No, unfortunately I'm not. After graduating from high school I moved to another city to continue my education, so I lost regular contact with my primary school teachers.

建議: ・話は明確で具体的だが、時制と名詞の単複に注意し、つなぎの言葉で流れを良くしてください（"for example"の後の文を簡潔に）。

範例: My favourite teacher helped me by giving extra lessons after school. For example, when I struggled with difficult problems, I could ask her for clarification and she would show me different methods to solve them.

建議: ・内容が不明確で文法も崩れています。まずは明確な立場（yes/no/it's hard to say）を示し、その後で具体例を2文以内で述べてください。 ・"bars"など誤った語彙を避け、比較を示す語（"more"/"less"/"both"）を正しく使ってください。

範例: It's hard to say; I appreciate both. My primary school teachers were very caring and helped me build confidence, while my high school teachers challenged me academically and prepared me for exams, so I value them for different reasons.

× Yes, when I was high school I met uh really great teacher who told me about a lot of things, not only the studying but also like the important things for future things.

✓ Yes, when I was in high school I met a really great teacher who told me about a lot of things, not only studying but also important things for the future.

Errors: missing preposition 'in' before 'high school' (preposition error), missing article 'a' before 'really great teacher' (article error), awkward use 'the studying' should be 'studying' (article/word choice), redundant phrase 'future things' should be 'the future' (word choice). Suggestion: include necessary prepositions and articles and use concise nouns; say 'in high school', 'a really great teacher', 'not only studying but also important things for the future.'

× Well, I don't want to be a teacher in the future, I like helping people but I think teaching is very stressful and has long hours so I prefer a job with more flexible time.

✓ Well, I don't want to be a teacher in the future. I like helping people, but I think teaching is very stressful and involves long hours, so I prefer a job with more flexible hours.

Errors: run-on sentence and awkward verb use 'has long hours' should be 'involves long hours' (verb choice/subject-verb relation). Also 'more flexible time' is uncountable/unnatural; use 'more flexible hours.' Suggestion: split into two sentences, use 'involves' for activities that include something, and use 'hours' when talking about work schedule.

× Yes, as I said the high school one because whatever the high school I feel little wish I felt distress for about starting but the teacher told me teacher gave me some tips for studying so that's why it's helps me help me a lot.

✓ Yes, as I said, the high school teacher. I felt some distress about starting, but the teacher gave me some tips for studying, so that really helped me a lot.

Errors: sentence fragments and tense/wording confusion. Remove repeated words 'teacher', correct tense 'I felt' for past experience, use 'about starting' not 'for about starting', and 'so that really helped me a lot' instead of 'it's helps me help me a lot.' Suggestion: organize ideas into clear sentences, avoid repetition, and use simple past for past events.

× No unfortunately because after graduate high school I moved to different city to get a more high education and also get a chance to clear up as well.

✓ No, unfortunately. After graduating from high school I moved to a different city to get a higher education and also to get a chance to clear things up as well.

Errors: verb form 'graduate' should be the gerund 'graduating' (verb form), missing preposition 'from' after 'graduating', article 'a different city', adjective order 'higher education' not 'more high education', and awkward phrase 'clear up' needs an object. Suggestion: use 'after graduating from high school' and 'a different city', and say 'higher education' or 'further education.'

× Well, my favorite teacher helped me by giving extra lesson after school. For example, when I struggle to solve some question I just asked, I asked her and then she gave me some tips.

✓ Well, my favorite teacher helped me by giving extra lessons after school. For example, when I struggled to solve some questions I would ask her, and then she would give me some tips.

Errors: 'lesson' should be plural 'lessons' (singular/plural), tense mismatch 'when I struggle' should be past 'when I struggled' (tense), and awkward structure 'I just asked, I asked her' should be 'I would ask her' or 'I asked her.' Suggestion: keep past tense for past habits: 'gave extra lessons' and use plural 'questions' when unspecified.

× Well, it's hard to say, but to be honest, I like bars because when I was elementary school or high school, even though high school they give, they helped me what a lot of situation.

✓ Well, it's hard to say, but to be honest, I like both because when I was in elementary school and high school they helped me in many situations.

Errors: 'bars' is incorrect word choice (should be 'both'), missing preposition 'in' before 'elementary school', incorrect conjunction 'or' should be 'and' for both levels, broken clause 'even though high school they give' is ungrammatical, and 'helped me what a lot of situation' should be 'helped me in many situations.' Suggestion: use 'both' to compare two groups, include 'in' with school levels, and use 'helped me in many situations.'