教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid hesitations and repetition (e.g., remove filler words like "I personally" or repeated words). Aim for 2–4 sentences and use precise vocabulary (e.g., "influential" instead of "counts in my life").

範例: My favorite teacher was my eighth-grade English teacher. At first I didn't like her, but over time I realized how influential she was because she encouraged me to speak up in class and gave useful feedback on my writing.

建議: Give a direct answer first and then one or two clear reasons with linking words. Reduce repetition (e.g., "talk in English" and "speak in English" are the same). Use conditionals correctly and more precise phrasing ("if I cannot find another job").

範例: Not really. I plan to study in China, but if I cannot find another job there, I might work as an English teacher because I enjoy speaking English and helping others learn.

建議: Answer directly and add one or two specific examples of how the teacher was kind or gentle. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" and avoid filler words. Replace vague phrases like "kind of gentle" with concrete behaviors.

範例: Yes. It's my eighth-grade English teacher because she was very patient and respectful; for example, she listened to every student's opinion and gave calm, constructive feedback.

建議: Keep the answer brief and avoid filler sounds ("umm"). Give a short reason or one supporting detail. Maintain correct tense and concise phrasing.

範例: No, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers. I haven't contacted them since I moved to middle school because I wasn't very close to them.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence and then give two specific examples of help, using linking words. Avoid repeating words and correct small grammar errors ("an introvert" or "introverted by nature"). Make details more specific (how she helped you gain confidence).

範例: She helped me become more confident speaking in public by encouraging me to present in class and praising small improvements. She also improved my English by giving extra practice exercises and clear feedback on my essays.

建議: Answer directly, avoid hesitations and be concise. Provide one specific reason why you prefer high school teachers, with a concrete example of the teacher's behavior. Use correct grammar ("wanted everyone to succeed").

範例: I prefer my high school teachers because they were more supportive. For example, my first-year teacher created a safe classroom where she encouraged everyone to participate and helped struggling students after class.

× My favorite teacher was my teacher during my 8th grade.

✓ My favorite teacher was my teacher during eighth grade.

Use of 'my 8th grade' is incorrect article/number phrasing. Say 'eighth grade' or 'my eighth-grade year'. Also avoid repeating 'my teacher' twice; context keeps clarity.

× 8th grade she was an English teacher.

✓ In eighth grade, she was my English teacher.

Sentence lacks proper connector and punctuation. Begin with 'In eighth grade' and include 'my' for clarity. Comma separates the introductory phrase.

× At first I didn't really like her but with the time going and when I got a new teacher I I saw the value and how much she counts in my life.

✓ At first I didn't really like her, but over time, when I got a new teacher, I saw her value and how much she mattered in my life.

Original has awkward phrasing ('with the time going'), repetition ('I I'), and incorrect verb choice 'counts'. Use 'over time' and 'mattered' to express influence. Add commas for clarity.

× I don't really want to be a teacher, but I want to study in China and if I can't work in China in any kind of jobs, then becoming an English teacher might be something I would like to do.

✓ I don't really want to be a teacher, but I want to study in China, and if I can't find any kind of work there, becoming an English teacher might be something I'd like to do.

Use 'find any kind of work' rather than 'work in China in any kind of jobs'. Also contract 'I would' to 'I'd' for naturalness. Modal 'might' is fine; adjust word order for clarity.

× First of all because I like to to talk in English and to speak in English and I also like to teach some people things.

✓ First of all, I like to speak English, and I also like teaching people things.

Removed duplicated 'to', simplified 'talk in English and speak in English' to one phrase 'speak English', and changed 'to teach some people things' to 'teaching people things' for smoother parallel structure.

× So the teacher that made an impact in my life was the one I I already told you about the English teacher I had in 8th grade.

✓ So the teacher who made an impact in my life was the English teacher I told you about from eighth grade.

Use 'who' for people, remove repeated 'I', and reorder to avoid awkward phrasing. Use 'eighth grade' instead of '8th grade'.

× And I think it's because she was nice and also because she was kind of gentle with the students, which is rare for teachers.

✓ I think it's because she was nice and gentle with the students, which is rare for teachers.

'Omit 'kind of' to make the sentence more direct. 'Kind of gentle' is informal and weak; using 'gentle' is clearer.

× I am not in touch with my primary school teachers anymore.

✓ I am not in touch with my primary school teachers anymore.

Sentence is grammatically correct; present tense 'am not in touch' appropriately expresses current state. Included here to confirm no change needed.

× Umm, actually I've never been.

✓ Actually, I've never been in touch with them.

Original 'I've never been' is incomplete and ambiguous. Specify 'in touch with them' to complete the idea. Present perfect is correct for past-to-present experience.

× Umm, I never talked to them since I am in middle school and now high school.

✓ I haven't spoken to them since I was in middle school and now I'm in high school.

Use present perfect 'haven't spoken' with 'since' to link past to present. 'Since I am in middle school' is incorrect time reference; use 'since I was in middle school' and state current 'now I'm in high school'.

× Umm, I was never that close to them to be fair.

✓ I was never that close to them, to be fair.

Add comma before 'to be fair' for natural flow. Past tense 'was' is appropriate here.

× My favorite teacher actually helped me become more confident at speaking in front of people, which is a really hard thing for me because I am an introverted by nature.

✓ My favorite teacher actually helped me become more confident speaking in front of people, which is really hard for me because I am introverted by nature.

Remove 'an' before 'introverted' (adjectives like 'introverted' do not take 'an'). Also 'confident speaking' is more natural than 'confident at speaking'.

× So it helped me with that. And she, she also helped me with my English of course, because she's an English teacher.

✓ It helped me with that, and she also helped me with my English, of course, because she was an English teacher.

Remove repeated 'she', use commas around 'of course' and maintain past tense 'was' to match earlier context where the teacher is referred to in past.

× Umm, I don't remember how my primary schools, uh, school teachers were.

✓ I don't remember how my primary school teachers were.

Remove the duplicated words 'primary schools, uh, school'. Use 'primary school teachers' as the correct noun phrase.

× And last year, uh, during my first year of high school, I had a teacher I that made a really big impact in my life.

✓ Last year, during my first year of high school, I had a teacher who made a really big impact on my life.

Remove extra 'I', use 'who' for people, and 'impact on my life' is the correct prepositional phrase.

× Umm, she really wanted everyone to success and to feel safe in the class and that was really amazing.

✓ She really wanted everyone to succeed and to feel safe in class, and that was really amazing.

Use the verb 'succeed' not the noun 'success'. Omit 'the' before 'class' unless specific; 'in class' is correct. Maintain past tense 'wanted'.