教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise, correct grammar, and give specific supporting details. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific examples (what she did, when, and the result). Use linking words like “for example” or “because.” Avoid redundancy and fix errors such as “not me teacher,” “US anatomy,” and “morale residents.”

範例: My favorite teacher is my college anatomy instructor. She is very humble and approachable, and she helped me improve my exam scores by giving extra tutorials before the final exam. For example, she reviewed difficult topics with me twice a week, which increased my confidence and raised my grades.

建議: Answer directly, correct tense and word order, and keep it concise. Provide a specific reason why you want to be a teacher and a short illustrative example. Use linking words such as “because” or “for example.” Remove repeated phrases and improve grammar (e.g., “I always became a teacher” → “I always pretended to be the teacher”).

範例: Yes, I would like to be a teacher because I enjoy explaining things and helping others learn. For example, as a child I often played “school” with my friends and taught them simple lessons, which showed me how rewarding teaching can be.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and add one or two specific memories or actions that made the teacher memorable. Use past tense for past events and a linking word like “because” to explain the reason. Avoid vague phrases like “difficult times” without specifying an example.

範例: Yes, I still remember my college anatomy teacher, who remains in touch with me. She supported me when I struggled with a complicated module by offering weekly study sessions, which helped me pass the course and stay motivated.

建議: Give a direct answer and a concise, specific reason. Improve cohesion by using linking words like “because” and avoid repetition. Correct phrasing: “they acted professionally” and “did not keep personal contact.”

範例: No, I am not in touch with my primary school teachers because there were many teachers and they kept professional boundaries, so they did not keep contact with students after graduation.

建議: Be specific and grammatical. Start with a topic sentence describing the main ways she helped you, then give one concrete example (what she did and the effect). Remove fillers (“umm,” “uh”) and correct unclear phrases like “art me teacher” and “washed ways.” Keep to 2–4 sentences.

範例: My favorite teacher supported me academically and emotionally during exam periods. For example, she gave me extra art workshops before the practical exam and encouraged me when I felt stressed, which improved my technique and confidence.

× Yes I have a favorite teacher and she is my not me teacher.

✓ Yes, I have a favorite teacher and she is not my teacher.

The sentence uses incorrect pronouns and word order ('my not me teacher'). Correct form is 'she is not my teacher' where 'not' negates the verb phrase and 'my' is the possessive adjective modifying 'teacher'. Suggestion: place 'not' before the verb phrase and use 'my' for possession.

× She teaches US anatomy in my college.

✓ She teaches us anatomy at my college.

'US' should be the pronoun 'us' (lowercase) and the preposition 'in' is less natural for institutions; 'at' is used for activities held at a place. Suggestion: use 'us' for the object pronoun and 'at my college' for location.

× She always helps me whenever I am in need.

✓ She always helps me whenever I am in need.

This sentence is grammatically correct in present tense; no change needed. It correctly uses the present simple for habitual action and 'whenever I am in need' for condition.

× She guides me to the right path and even helps me to in studying and giving morale residents.

✓ She guides me on the right path and even helps me with studying and boosting my morale.

Problems: preposition 'to' should be 'on' in the phrase 'guides me on the right path'; 'helps me to in studying' is incorrect—use 'helps me with studying' or 'helps me study'; 'giving morale residents' is wrong vocabulary/structure; correct phrase is 'boosting my morale' or 'giving me encouragement'. Suggestion: use 'on the right path', 'helps me with' + noun (studying), and 'boosting my morale'.

× She is very humble and approachable.

✓ She is very humble and approachable.

This sentence is correct: correct third-person singular verb 'is' matches subject 'She'. No change needed.

× Yes, I would love to be a teacher in the future.

✓ Yes, I would love to be a teacher in the future.

Sentence is correct; pronoun use and modal verb are appropriate for expressing future desire.

× I like teaching as a profession.

✓ I like teaching as a profession.

This sentence is correct and well-formed; no change needed.

× For instance, when I was a child, me and my friends used to play together and I was always I always become a teacher and I used to teach them.

✓ For instance, when I was a child, my friends and I used to play together, and I always wanted to become a teacher and used to teach them.

Errors: pronoun order should be 'my friends and I' not 'me and my friends'; repetition 'I was always I always' is redundant; 'become' should be in infinitive after 'wanted to' or 'wanted to become'; better phrasing 'I always wanted to become a teacher' expresses desire in the past. Suggestion: use subject pronoun 'I' in compound subjects after mentioning others, and use 'wanted to become' for past desire.

× Yes, I do remember my college teachers very well, especially my anatomy teacher.

✓ Yes, I remember my college teachers very well, especially my anatomy teacher.

Using 'do remember' is grammatically possible for emphasis but unnecessary. Prefer simple present 'I remember' to state a fact. Suggestion: use simple present for habitual or general memories.

× She was one of my favorite.

✓ She was one of my favorites.

'One of my favorite' is incomplete; you need the plural noun 'favorites' to indicate one among many. Suggestion: use plural 'favorites' after 'one of'.

× I remember her quite well and she's even in touch with me right now.

✓ I remember her quite well and she's even in touch with me right now.

Sentence is acceptable; contraction 'she's' is fine in speech. No grammatical correction required.

× She always helped me in my difficult times and keeps me motivated throughout the journey.

✓ She always helped me in my difficult times and kept me motivated throughout the journey.

Mixed tenses: 'always helped' is past, but 'keeps' is present. Maintain past tense for past teacher: change 'keeps' to 'kept'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent when referring to past events.

× No, I am not in touch with anyone, especially the teachers at my primary school because there were numerous teachers at my school and they just acted professionally and did not maintain any personal relation out of the school with children so.

✓ No, I am not in touch with anyone, especially the teachers from my primary school, because there were many teachers at my school and they acted professionally and did not maintain personal relationships with the children outside school.

Problems: 'at my primary school' -> 'from my primary school' is more natural but 'at' acceptable; 'numerous' is formal—'many' fits spoken register; 'did not maintain any personal relation out of the school with children' is awkward—use 'did not maintain personal relationships with the children outside school'. Remove trailing 'so'. Suggestion: use natural prepositions and plural 'relationships'.

× My favorite teacher was an art me teacher.

✓ My favorite teacher was my art teacher.

'an art me teacher' is incorrect order and pronoun; correct phrase is 'my art teacher' where 'art' modifies 'teacher' and 'my' shows possession. Suggestion: place possessive adjective before the noun phrase.

× She helped me in washed ways umm especially during stressful exam time.

✓ She helped me in many ways, especially during stressful exam times.

'washed ways' is incorrect—likely intended 'many ways'. Add comma and remove filler 'umm'. 'exam time' should be plural or 'exam time' can be singular—'exam times' or 'exam periods' better. Suggestion: use 'many ways' and 'during stressful exam times'.

× She kept me motivated and even gave me extra lessons if uh required.

✓ She kept me motivated and even gave me extra lessons when required.

'if required' is grammatically possible but 'when required' is more natural. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: use 'when required' or 'when I needed them'.

× She assisted me whenever I was in need.

✓ She assisted me whenever I needed help.

Original is understandable but 'was in need' is wordy; 'whenever I needed help' is natural past-tense phrasing. Suggestion: use concise expressions for past conditions.

× She all apart from this uh she also helped me in.

✓ Apart from that, she also helped me in other ways.

The original is fragmented, includes filler 'uh', and lacks an object after 'helped me in'. Corrected sentence provides a complete structure: 'Apart from that, she also helped me in other ways.' Suggestion: avoid fillers and complete the thought with an object or phrase indicating how she helped.