教师— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장구조와 문법을 바로잡고 응답을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 만드세요. 도입 문장은 질문에 직접 답하는 주제문으로 시작하고, 추가 정보는 연결어(예: because, so, and)로 매끄럽게 이어가세요. 또한 시제 일관성(과거형 사용)과 단수/복수 형태를 고쳐야 합니다. 예를 들어 ‘As I have a favorite teacher’ 대신 ‘Yes, I do’ 또는 ‘Yes, I had a favorite teacher’처럼 간단히 답하고, 이어서 누구였는지, 무엇이 좋았는지 구체적으로 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요.

範例: Yes, I did have a favorite teacher in my third year of high school. He taught Japanese and had excellent pronunciation, which made listening lessons very clear. Also, his classes included fun games that helped me remember vocabulary, so I improved quickly.

建議: 답변은 명확하지만 반복과 중복 표현을 줄이고 문장을 더 간결하게 하세요. 'because'가 반복되며 의미가 중복되어 흐름이 어색합니다. 이유를 한두 가지 구체적인 예로 제시하고 연결어(therefore, so, because of this)로 논리를 정리하세요. 또한 작은 문법 오류(예: 'it it')를 고치세요.

範例: No, I don't want to be a teacher. I think teaching would be very challenging because many young students today can be easily distracted and have high expectations, so managing a classroom would be quite stressful for me.

建議: 응답이 불완전하고 부적절한 표현(physical punishment 관련)을 다소 충격적으로 전달합니다. 먼저 간단히 'Yes'로 답한 뒤, 기억나는 이유를 예의 있게 설명하세요. 나이 추정은 ‘around’로 자연스럽게 표현하고, 폭력 관련 내용은 더 신중하고 상세한 문맥(예: she was strict and disciplined us physically)으로 설명하거나 피하세요. 단문으로 정리하고 연결어 사용을 개선하세요.

範例: Yes, I do. I remember my first-grade teacher from elementary school; she was around fifty or sixty and very strict. Because she disciplined us harshly, her lessons left a strong impression on me.

建議: 대체로 명확하지만, 문장을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 만드세요. 불필요한 반복('Not really' 그리고 'I'm not in touch')을 피하고, 연결어(although, but)를 적절히 사용하세요. 'Kakaotalk' 설명은 한 번으로 충분하니 간결하게 쓰세요.

範例: Not really. I'm not in direct contact with my primary school teachers, but we're connected on KakaoTalk, so I sometimes check their profiles.

建議: 응답의 구조가 불완전하고 문장이 끝나지 않았습니다. 질문에 직접 답하는 주제문으로 시작하고, 구체적 도움 사례(예: explained things clearly, gave extra materials, encouraged me)들을 연결어로 정리하세요. 불필요한 'uh' 같은 말더미를 제거하고 문장을 완결하세요.

範例: She helped me by patiently answering all my questions because I was a very curious student. For example, she explained difficult grammar clearly and gave extra exercises, which improved my understanding and confidence.

× As I have a favorite teacher.

✓ I have a favorite teacher.

The original sentence uses an unnecessary introductory phrase 'As I have' which makes the sentence ungrammatical in context. Use the simple declarative 'I have a favorite teacher.' to directly answer the question.

× He was a teacher in 3rd grade in high school.

✓ He was my teacher in 3rd grade at high school.

The speaker needs to indicate that the person taught them, so include 'my' and use 'at high school' for natural preposition use. This corrects sentence structure and preposition choice.

× He teaches Japanese.

✓ He taught Japanese.

The context describes a past teacher, so the verb should be in the past tense 'taught' rather than present 'teaches'.

× His pronunciation was really good and his class was full of funny games, so I was good.

✓ His pronunciation was really good and his class was full of fun games, so I enjoyed it.

'Funny games' is unnatural for enjoyable activities; use 'fun games'. 'I was good' is vague and ungrammatical here; use 'I enjoyed it' to express positive feeling about the class.

× No, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because it it would be really challenging to me to teach students these days because I think many young students are more demanding and distracted, so managing them would be stressful for me.

✓ No, I don't want to be a teacher in the future because it would be really challenging for me to teach students these days; I think many young students are more demanding and distracted, so managing them would be stressful.

Remove the repeated 'it' and use 'for me' instead of 'to me'. Use 'would be' consistently for hypothetical statements. Split into clearer clauses to improve sentence structure.

× I remember the teacher when I was in first grade in elementary school.

✓ I remember the teacher from when I was in first grade at elementary school.

Use 'from when' or 'from' to connect memory to time. 'At elementary school' is more natural than 'in' in this context.

× She was maybe a 50 or 60 years old.

✓ She was maybe fifty or sixty years old.

Do not use the article 'a' before ages expressed with numbers; write numbers in words in speech contexts and omit 'a'.

× Oh, because she punished us by punching us.

✓ Oh, she punished us by hitting us.

'Punished us by punching us' is repetitive and awkward. Use 'hitting us' for clarity. Also remove 'because' which is unnecessary at the start of an answer fragment.

× Not really, I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers but we're still connected on Kakaotalk which is Korean messenger application so I can check their profile sometimes.

✓ Not really. I'm not in touch with my primary school teachers, but we're still connected on Kakaotalk, which is a Korean messaging application, so I can check their profiles sometimes.

Use periods or commas to separate clauses. Use 'messaging application' and include the article 'a'. 'Profile' should be plural when referring to multiple teachers. Slight punctuation fixes improve readability.

× Because I was curious student I had a really many questions.

✓ Because I was a curious student, I had a lot of questions.

Include the article 'a' before 'curious student' and replace 'a really many' with 'a lot of' for natural quantifier usage. Add a comma after the introductory clause.

× So my favorite teacher was uh was a Chinese teacher and I questioned a lot to her but she answered all of them so I.

✓ So my favorite teacher was a Chinese teacher, and I asked her a lot of questions, and she answered all of them.

Use 'asked her' rather than 'questioned a lot to her'. Place 'a lot of questions' after the verb. Remove trailing incomplete fragment 'so I.' Ensure verb order and preposition use are natural.