整洁— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct small errors (e.g., 'ballpoint pens'). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition of 'tidy' and 'organized'.

範例: Yes — I’m a tidy person. For example, my books are arranged on shelves by subject and my desk is cleared of loose papers so I can work without distractions.

建議: Give a direct answer first and avoid hedging. Use one or two specific memories or examples to support your claim, and correct grammar ('stemmed from' → 'stemmed from the fact that', remove repetition).

範例: Yes, I did. Although I shared a room with my sister, I always kept my things in labeled boxes and straightened our area every weekend so I could find things quickly.

建議: This is clear and structured; improve by using linking words and avoiding repetition ('main' and 'during my work day' twice). Add one concrete habit or frequency to make it more specific.

範例: I keep a simple system: my desk holds current notebooks and my laptop, while older books go on shelves. Also, I spend five minutes at the end of each day clearing loose papers so I can focus the next morning.

建議: Start with a concise opinion (Yes/No) and then explain with one clear reason and an example. Simplify complex sentences and fix grammar (e.g., 'it depends on how a person defines tidy').

範例: I think being tidy is helpful, but it depends on the person’s system. For instance, some people appear messy but have a method and can find things quickly, which works for them.

× So when you enter into my room, you will see that the books are neatly placed in shelves and my table is tidy where ballpoint pants and papers are not cluttered in my space.

✓ So when you enter my room, you will see that the books are neatly placed on the shelves and my table is tidy, with ballpoint pens and papers not cluttering my space.

Use 'enter' without 'into' when referring to entering a room in this context (preposition error). Use the preposition 'on' with 'shelves' (placed on the shelves). 'Where' is awkward here; use a participial phrase 'with...' to describe the table state. 'Ballpoint pants' is a typo for 'ballpoint pens' and 'not cluttering' uses the present participle correctly to describe action affecting the space.

× To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I don't have fond memories of having my own space since I always shared a room with my sister or with my mother.

✓ To be honest, I'm not quite sure. I don't have fond memories of having my own space because I always shared a room with my sister or with my mother.

The sentence used 'since' to mean 'because', which can be ambiguous for past reference. Replacing 'since' with 'because' clarifies cause. Tense usage 'shared' is correct past; the change focuses on conjunction clarity (fits list 11: preposition but also conjunction—mapped to incorrect use of prepositions/conjunctions; here treated as preposition/conjunction correction).

× But looking back, I think it's always stemmed from the fact that I am an organized person and I want to know where my things are all the time.

✓ But looking back, I think it has always stemmed from the fact that I am an organized person and want to know where my things are all the time.

Mix of present and past perfect: use present perfect 'has always stemmed' to link past cause to present state. Also omit redundant 'I' before 'want' for smoother parallel structure. This corrects tense agreement (past to present perfect).

× So I think if I were to predict, yes, I have kept my room tidy. I was since I was a child.

✓ So I think if I had to predict, yes, I have kept my room tidy. I have been since I was a child.

'If I were to predict' is conditional; 'if I had to predict' is more natural. 'I was since I was a child' mixes past simple with 'since'; use present perfect 'have been' for a state continuing from the past to now. This fixes tense misuse and temporal expression.

× The main table is for my main setup and the notebooks that I actually use during my work day, while the shelves are for books and notebooks that I have used in the past.

✓ The main table is for my main setup and the notebooks that I actually use during my workday, while the shelves are for books and notebooks that I used in the past.

'Work day' can be written as 'workday' (single word) — a word choice/usage correction. 'Have used in the past' is acceptable but 'used in the past' is more concise and consistent with the past reference. This addresses word form and tense clarity (minor preposition/usage issue).

× I also make it a point not to leave things scattered around my space as it doesn't help me concentrate during my work day.

✓ I also make it a point not to leave things scattered around my space, as that doesn't help me concentrate during my workday.

Replace 'it' with 'that' to refer to the preceding idea (leaving things scattered) for clearer pronoun reference. Again 'workday' is preferred as one word. This corrects ambiguous pronoun use (pronoun reference) and refines word form.

× From my perspective, and depends on how the person defines tidy, because there might be sometimes that external people think a person is untidy, but to them it's how they keep themselves organized that even though it looks scattered from an outside perspective, they know exactly where their things are.

✓ From my perspective, it depends on how a person defines 'tidy'. Sometimes people who look untidy to others have an organization that allows them to know exactly where their things are, even if it looks scattered from the outside.

Original sentence is fragmented and has incorrect clause linking. Rewriting produces clear subject-verb structure: 'it depends' as main clause, then a concise explanation. Removed redundant 'there might be sometimes' and fixed word order for clarity. This addresses sentence structure and cohesion errors.