整洁— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문장이 자연스럽지 않고 중복 및 불완전한 문장이 있습니다. 주제문으로 직접 답변한 뒤, 간단한 이유와 한두 개의 구체적 예를 연결어로 연결해 보세요. 최대 5문장, 연결어(for example, because, so)를 사용해 문장을 완성하고 불필요한 반복을 제거하세요.

範例: Yes, I do like to keep things tidy. However, I'm not very good at it because my room often gets cluttered after studying. For example, I tend to leave books and clothes on the floor, so it looks messy. I try to tidy up once every few days to keep it under control.

建議: 문법(과거 습관 표현)과 어순 오류가 있습니다. 'used to'는 과거의 규칙적인 행동을 나타낼 때 사용합니다. 주제문을 과거 시제로 명확히 말하고, 이유나 간단한 예를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 반복은 피하세요.

範例: No, I didn't use to keep my room tidy when I was a child. I rarely cleaned it because I was more focused on playing and studying. For instance, toys and schoolbooks were often left on the floor, so my parents had to remind me to tidy up.

建議: 발화가 불완전하며 시제 혼동과 말더듬(umm, uh)이 있습니다. 현재 습관을 묻는 질문에는 현재형을 사용하세요. 구체적인 방법을 2~3개 제시하고 연결어(for example, then, after that)를 사용해 논리적으로 말하세요.

範例: I usually tidy my study space after I finish working. For example, I put my pencils in a pencil case, file loose papers into folders, and clear my desk so it's ready for the next session. Then I wipe the surface and put books back on the shelf.

建議: 문장이 어색하고 어휘 선택과 문장 구조가 부정확합니다. 이유를 명확히 말하고 비교 표현을 간단히 사용하세요. 복잡한 수식어 대신 명확한 형용사와 명사구를 쓰고 연결어(because, so, therefore)를 활용하세요.

範例: Yes, I definitely think it is necessary to be tidy because a neat environment helps me concentrate better. For example, when my desk is organized I can find things quickly, so I waste less time and feel more productive.

× Yes I do. I'd really like to keep things tidy. But I'm not really good at it because my room is always messy. Because and.

✓ Yes, I do. I'd really like to keep things tidy, but I'm not very good at it because my room is always messy.

'Because and' is a fragment and creates a sentence structure error. Combine clauses properly and remove the unfinished phrase. Also use 'not very good' instead of 'not really good' for natural phrasing and add commas where needed. Suggestion: connect the ideas into one coherent sentence: 'I'd really like to keep things tidy, but I'm not very good at it because my room is always messy.'

× As I mentioned before, I'm not good at it, so I also do not used to to clean regularly my home, my room, so I don't think so.

✓ As I mentioned before, I'm not good at it, so I also did not use to clean my home or my room regularly, so I don't think so.

'Used to' for past habits requires the base form 'use' after 'did not'. The sentence had 'do not used to' which mixes present and past forms and contains a repeated 'to'. Also word order is awkward; place 'regularly' after the verb or at the end. Suggestion: 'did not use to clean my home or my room regularly.'

× I tried to clean up in the right way after, umm, after finding finishing my study. For example, I put my pencils in a pencil case and uh.

✓ I try to clean up properly after finishing my study. For example, I put my pencils in a pencil case.

'Tried' (past) conflicts with habitual action; use 'try' for habitual behavior. 'After finding finishing' is ungrammatical; for the sequence use the gerund 'after finishing'. Also 'in the right way' is better phrased as 'properly'. Remove filler 'uh' and use simple present for routines. Suggestion: 'I try to clean up properly after finishing my study.'

× Yes, definitely It is very important because productivity is more higher in well develop well pre well stored place than cluttered space.

✓ Yes, definitely. It is very important because productivity is higher in a well-developed, well-prepared, well-stored place than in a cluttered space.

'More higher' is incorrect; 'higher' alone is the comparative form. Several adjectives need hyphenation and correct forms: 'well-developed', 'well-prepared', and 'well-stored'. Also include articles and parallel prepositions: 'in a ... place than in a cluttered space.' Suggestion: use 'higher' and make adjectives parallel and hyphenated.