整洁— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve clarity, grammar and vocabulary. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid invented words (e.g., "portless") and incorrect forms (e.g., "retirements"). Use correct verb forms and articles.

範例: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. Because I concentrate better in a clean room, I always spend a few minutes each morning tidying my desk and putting things away. As a result, I am more productive throughout the day.

建議: Make the response more coherent and grammatical. Start with a direct answer (Yes/No), then give a specific reason and contrast with the present using linking words like "but" or "however." Avoid vague phrases like "follow the rules in my future."

範例: No, I didn't. When I was a child I shared a room with my brother, so it was difficult to organize our things. However, now I keep my room tidy and try to clean it regularly to stay organized.

建議: Provide a clear structure: state your method, give specific details and conclude briefly. Use correct plural and possessive forms and avoid sentence fragments. Include linking words like "first" and "for example."

範例: I keep my study space tidy by separating personal items from work materials. For example, I store books on one shelf, laptops on another and cables on the third. This organization helps me find things quickly and focus better.

建議: Clarify main idea and use correct vocabulary. Start with a clear opinion, then give a specific example and explain its effect. Replace incorrect words ("tiredness","tightness") with accurate terms like "tidiness" or "appearance."

範例: Yes, I think being tidy is important. For instance, in a professional meeting, a messy appearance can give others a bad impression, which may affect how they judge your abilities. Therefore, maintaining a neat appearance can help you make a better impression.

× Yes, I do cleaning and retirements as part of my life.

✓ Yes, I do cleaning and retirement as part of my life.

The student used 'retirements' (plural) incorrectly and used 'do cleaning' which is awkward. 'Cleaning' can be used as a noun but 'do cleaning' is informal; however it is acceptable. The plural 'retirements' is wrong: 'retirement' as a general concept is uncountable here. Suggest using 'I clean and take care of my home' or 'I do cleaning and housework' for clarity.

× If it's a busy or a normal day I always try to keep things portless because it didn't help me to concentrate the day and when the room is more clean I can give more productivity.

✓ If it's a busy or a normal day, I always try to keep things spotless because it doesn't help me to concentrate during the day, and when the room is cleaner I can be more productive.

'Portless' is not a word; the intended word is 'spotless'. 'Didn't help me to concentrate the day' mixes past tense with present general situation and misses preposition 'during'. Use present simple 'doesn't help' for general facts, 'during the day' for time, 'more clean' should be comparative adjective 'cleaner', and 'give more productivity' is incorrect collocation — use 'be more productive'.

× No, I didn't think so because when I was a child I shared my room with my brother so and I haven't that much ability to organize everything.

✓ No, I don't think so because when I was a child I shared my room with my brother and I didn't have much ability to organize everything.

The student mixes tenses and uses incorrect auxiliary 'haven't' for 'didn't have'. For a present opinion use 'I don't think so' or for past ability use 'I didn't have'. Here keep present opinion: 'I don't think so', then describe past ability with past tense 'didn't have'. Remove unnecessary 'so and'.

× But now I clean my room as much as I can.

✓ But now I clean my room as often as I can.

'As much as I can' usually refers to quantity; for frequency 'as often as I can' is more natural. Present simple 'clean' is fine for habitual action.

× I also follow the rules in my future.

✓ I also will follow these rules in the future.

The phrase 'in my future' is unnatural. Use 'in the future' and add 'will' for a future intention. Alternatively 'I also plan to follow these rules in the future.'

× Whenever I study I always keep my books and laptops away from my personal stuffs like makeup things so my table only contain the study related or work late things.

✓ Whenever I study, I always keep my books and laptop away from my personal things like makeup, so my table only contains study-related or work-related items.

'Laptops' plural may be incorrect if student has one; keep singular 'laptop' if one. 'Personal stuffs' is uncountable and incorrect; use 'personal things' or 'personal items'. 'Makeup things' -> 'makeup' or 'cosmetics'. 'Contain' should be 'contains' to agree with singular 'table'. Use hyphens in compound adjectives 'study-related' and 'work-related'.

× I have 3 shelves so one is 4 books, 1 is for laptops, one is for wire and things.

✓ I have three shelves: one holds four books, one is for a laptop, and one is for wires and other items.

Numbers should be written consistently; use 'three'. Grammar and noun forms need correcting: 'one is 4 books' -> 'one holds four books'; 'laptops' likely should be singular 'a laptop' or 'laptops' if plural; 'wire and things' -> 'wires and other items'. Use parallel structure.

× This way I keep my.

✓ This way I keep my things organized.

The sentence is incomplete and missing the object. Add 'things organized' to complete the thought.

× Yes, tiredness is showing our personality.

✓ Yes, tidiness shows our personality.

The student used 'tiredness' (being tired) instead of 'tidiness' (being tidy). Use the correct noun. 'Shows' is a better verb for general truth.

× For example, in an official meeting someone who we are casual and modern clothes that is not suitable for the situation and the other people might judge him because based on his clothes.

✓ For example, in an official meeting, someone wearing casual or modern clothes may not be suitable for the situation, and other people might judge him based on his clothes.

The original has wrong pronoun structure 'someone who we are casual' — change to 'someone wearing'. Remove extra words 'because'. Use 'may not be suitable' and 'judge him based on his clothes' for clarity.

× So clean and tightness is very important in our daily life.

✓ So being clean and tidy is very important in our daily life.

'Tightness' is incorrect; the intended word is 'tidiness' or 'tidy'. Use 'being clean and tidy' or 'cleanliness and tidiness'. Also use plural 'are' if rephrasing as 'cleanliness and tidiness are'.