整洁— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammar, conciseness and coherence. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct verb forms and pronouns, and avoid redundant phrases. Use one linking phrase to add a specific reason or example. For instance, replace "if we makes" with "if we keep", and restructure long clauses into two sentences to stay within the 5-sentence limit. Also use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "untidy" vs "demotivate").

範例: Yes, I do. I prefer to keep my room clean because a tidy environment helps me concentrate. For example, when my desk is organised I can study for longer without feeling distracted.

建議: Work on past tense consistency, clearer sequencing and specific supporting details. Begin with a direct answer in the past tense ("Yes, I did"), then briefly explain how your parents influenced you using correct verbs and clear examples. Avoid unclear phrases like "pick the things at the sport." Use linking words such as "because" or "so" to show cause and effect, and keep it concise.

範例: Yes, I did. My parents encouraged me to keep my room tidy, and they often reminded me to put away toys and books. As a result, I developed good habits and still like to live in an organised space.

× Definitely I prefer to keep things neat and spotless because I feel that if we makes our surroundings neat and clean and we can really get serious diseases or demotivate as I feel I like to study in a clean bedroom.

✓ Definitely I prefer to keep things neat and spotless because I feel that if we make our surroundings neat and clean we can avoid serious diseases and avoid feeling demotivated; I like to study in a clean bedroom.

This sentence has multiple subject-verb agreement errors and clarity issues. 'makes' should be 'make' because the subject 'we' requires the base form. The phrase 'we can really get serious diseases or demotivate' is ungrammatical: 'get serious diseases' is awkward and 'demotivate' is transitive; use 'avoid serious diseases' and 'avoid feeling demotivated' to convey the intended meaning. Also punctuation and conjunctions were adjusted to improve sentence structure and clarity. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with their subjects and use appropriate verb forms or nouns for abstract states (e.g., 'feeling demotivated').

× Well yes to be honest when I was a kid as my parents motivates me or always scold me to have such a clean surroundings so I pick the things at the sport that makes me feel motivated and make me more encourage person.

✓ Well, yes. To be honest, when I was a kid my parents motivated me and often scolded me to keep my surroundings clean, so I picked up habits that made me feel motivated and made me a more encouraged person.

This sentence contains incorrect conjunctions and multiple tense and agreement errors. 'as my parents motivates me or always scold me' is incorrect: 'parents' requires plural past 'motivated' and 'scolded' to match past reference 'when I was a kid.' 'have such a clean surroundings' mixes articles and number; use 'keep my surroundings clean.' 'I pick the things at the sport' is unclear and likely meant 'picked up habits' or 'picked things up on the spot'; 'that makes me' should be 'that made me' to keep past tense consistent. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, use correct conjunctions (and) instead of 'or', and choose clear nouns/phrases for habits or actions.