视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện: Giảm tiếng ấp úng và dùng câu rõ ràng, ngắn gọn; tránh lặp từ (ví dụ: “uh” và “ourself”/“in different location” sai số nhiều). Nên mở đầu bằng câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó thêm 1-2 chi tiết cụ thể (thời điểm, mục đích, loại cảnh). Luyện dùng từ vựng liên quan như “landscapes”, “cityscapes”, “group photos”.

範例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. I often go out with friends and we take photos of city streets and parks to capture interesting scenes. For example, last weekend we photographed a colorful market at sunset.

建議: Cải thiện: Tránh nói lảm nhảm và sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ “One of the reason” → “One reason”). Nên dùng cấu trúc rõ ràng: chủ đề + nguyên nhân cụ thể + ví dụ ngắn. Thêm linking words như “because”, “for example” để mạch lạc. Hạn chế độ dài dưới 5 câu.

範例: I prefer views in rural areas because they are peaceful and scenic. One reason is that I lived in the countryside with my grandparents for five years when I was a child, so I appreciate open fields and nature. For example, I enjoy walking along quiet country lanes and taking photos of farms.

建議: Cải thiện: Loại bỏ cụm từ thừa (“Personally, in my opinion”) và sửa lỗi tên/thông tin (không rõ “Prisman”). Nên nói trực tiếp về sở thích và cung cấp lý do rõ ràng. Dùng từ vựng chính xác (“less crowded”, “scenic riverside”, “pleasant climate”). Thêm ví dụ ngắn để minh họa.

範例: I prefer views from other countries, especially Brisbane in Australia. I like it because the city is less crowded and has pleasant riverside scenery. For example, the South Bank parklands offer nice views of the river and skyline, which I find relaxing.

× I usually hang out with my friends and we take a lot of pictures of uh, ourself, uh, in different location.

✓ I usually hang out with my friends and we take a lot of pictures of ourselves in different locations.

The reflexive pronoun should agree in number with the subject: 'ourselves' for 'we' (not 'ourself'). 'Location' should be plural 'locations' to match 'different' implying more than one. Suggestion: use 'ourselves' and plural nouns when referring to multiple places.

× One of the reason is because I used to, uh, live in the countryside with my grandparents when I was like 10 years old and I was there for five years.

✓ One of the reasons is that I used to live in the countryside with my grandparents when I was about 10 years old and I lived there for five years.

Use 'one of the reasons' (plural) because 'one of' requires a plural noun. 'Is that' is more natural than 'is because' in this structure. 'I was like 10 years old' is informal; use 'about 10 years old'. Also parallel verb tense: 'I lived there' instead of 'I was there' for clarity of duration.

× Uh, I spent a lot of my time, uh, on the, uh, area.

✓ I spent a lot of my time in the area.

Use preposition 'in' with 'area' to indicate location. 'On the area' is incorrect. Also 'a lot of my time' is fine; remove extra articles 'the' and filler words.

× Personally, in my opinion, I used to be in Australia Prisman and I think that I prefer views from Brisbane more.

✓ Personally, I lived in Brisbane, Australia, and I prefer views from Brisbane.

'Personally, in my opinion' is redundant; choose one. 'I used to be in Australia Prisman' is unclear and likely word order/name error; use 'I lived in Brisbane, Australia'. 'Prefer... more' is redundant; 'prefer' suffices. Keep sentence concise and correct word order.

× One of the reason is because Brisbane is not crowded and a lot of people really enjoy the views of it.

✓ One of the reasons is that Brisbane is not crowded and many people really enjoy its views.

Use 'one of the reasons' (plural). Use 'is that' instead of 'is because' in this structure. 'A lot of people' can be 'many people' for formality. Use possessive adjective 'its views' rather than 'the views of it' for natural phrasing.