视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문법과 어순 오류를 바로잡고, 중복 표현을 줄이며 문장을 간결하게 만드세요. 구체적으로: (1) 관사(a/the)와 복수형 사용을 정확히 하세요. (2) 시제와 동사 형태(예: take, travel, meet)를 올바르게 사용하세요. (3) 한두 개의 구체적 예시(예: a traditional temple, a mountain view)를 추가해 답변을 풍부하게 하세요. (4) 최대 3문장 이내로 자연스럽게 연결어를 사용하세요 (e.g., and, also, such as).

範例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures when I travel to Japan. I usually photograph buildings and natural scenery, and sometimes candid shots of local people I meet. For example, I like capturing the detailed woodwork of temples and the views from mountain trails.

建議: 문장의 흐름과 단어 선택, 철자를 고쳐 명확하게 표현하세요. 구체적으로: (1) 주제 문장으로 바로 답을 주고 이유를 1~2개 제시하세요. (2) 철자 오류(lullers→lull, Beauvoir→beautiful? 혹은 'rural' 오타)를 수정하세요. (3) 횟수나 경험은 간단히 숫자로 정리하되 문맥에 맞게 표현하세요. 연결어(because, so, therefore)를 적절히 사용하세요.

範例: I prefer views in rural areas because I love the peaceful atmosphere and getting to know local people. I have visited Japan about ten times, and on six of those trips I stayed in the countryside, where I enjoyed quiet villages and wide natural landscapes.

建議: 의미 전달을 명확히 하고 불필요한 중복과 문법 오류를 제거하세요. 구체적으로: (1) 주제 문장에서 바로 선호를 밝히고 이유를 간결히 제시하세요. (2) 'I am the department of Japan' 같은 표현은 의미가 불명확하므로 ‘I studied Japanese’ 또는 ‘I’m interested in Japanese culture’처럼 명확하게 고치세요. (3) 과거의 경험(when I was nine)을 이유로 쓸 때는 연결어로 자연스럽게 연결하세요.

範例: I prefer views in Japan to those in my own country because I developed an interest in Japanese scenery and culture when I was nine. I also studied Japanese at school, which made me more drawn to its temples, gardens, and countryside.

× Yes, I usually take a pictures when I go to travel to Japan and I usually taking picture about buildings and nature and some people I met in travel.

✓ Yes, I usually take pictures when I travel to Japan, and I usually take pictures of buildings, nature, and some people I meet while traveling.

Student used incorrect verb forms and articles. 'take a pictures' is wrong: 'pictures' is plural so remove 'a' (singular article). 'go to travel to Japan' is ungrammatical; use 'travel to Japan' or 'go to Japan'. 'usually taking picture' should be the base verb 'take' to match 'usually' (simple present). 'picture about' should be 'pictures of'. 'some people I met in travel' mixes past and noun phrase; change to 'people I meet while traveling' for habitual action. Suggest practicing subject-verb agreement with habitual adverbs and correct use of gerunds for 'traveling'.

× I prefer rural areas view I went to Japan about 10 times and six times our rural travel because I love lullers, atmosphere and local people, so I prefer Beauvoir areas.

✓ I prefer rural views. I have been to Japan about 10 times, and six of those trips were to rural areas because I love the landscapes, atmosphere, and local people, so I prefer rural areas.

Multiple issues: 'rural areas view' mixes singular/plural; use 'rural views' or 'rural areas'. 'six times our rural travel' is incorrect — intended meaning is 'six of those trips were to rural areas.' 'lullers' and 'Beauvoir' appear to be misspellings: likely 'landscapes' and 'beautiful' or 'rural' — corrected to 'landscapes' and 'rural areas'. Use present perfect 'have been' for life experience ('I have been to Japan about 10 times'). Suggest studying plural forms and expressions for counting trips (e.g., 'six of those trips').

× I think I prefer the views of Japan because I. Thought about Japan when I was nine years old because I am the department of Japan so it connected to preferred view.

✓ I think I prefer the views of Japan because I thought about Japan when I was nine years old, and I studied Japanese at university, so it influenced my preference.

Problems include tense and unclear phrases. 'I. Thought' has an erroneous period and should be 'I thought' (past simple). 'I am the department of Japan' is ungrammatical — likely meant 'I studied Japanese' or 'I am in the Japanese department.' Use past tense 'studied' for completed education. 'so it connected to preferred view' is awkward; use 'so it influenced my preference.' Suggest clarifying intended meaning and using consistent tense (past simple for past events) and correct expressions for study/work (e.g., 'I studied Japanese' or 'I am in the Japanese department').

× I usually take pictures when I travel to Japan, and I usually take pictures of buildings, nature, and some people I meet while traveling.

✓ I usually take pictures when I travel to Japan, and I usually take pictures of buildings, nature, and some people I meet while traveling.

This sentence is correct after prior corrections; no preposition errors remain. Included here to indicate preposition usage ('of buildings', 'while traveling') is correct. Suggestions: pay attention to 'of' to show subjects of photos and 'while' for concurrent actions.