视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and natural: give a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details. Avoid filler words like “uh” and awkward phrasing (e.g., “take places”). Use linking words if adding details.

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. I take pictures almost wherever I go, especially when a place has attractive scenery, because I like collecting memories and sharing them with friends.

建議: Start with a clear preference or balanced statement, then give specific contrasting details using linking words. Check subject-verb agreement and avoid repetition.

範例: I appreciate both urban and rural views, but they offer different kinds of beauty. For instance, urban scenes provide striking architecture and lively street life, whereas rural areas offer peaceful landscapes and opportunities to photograph wildlife.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then explain briefly with specific reasons. Avoid redundant phrases like “their own differences and their own beauty.” Use linking words (e.g., “however”, “because”).

範例: I usually find views in other countries more interesting because unfamiliar places often offer new scenes and cultural details to photograph. However, I also enjoy shooting in my own country since I know the best spots and can capture them in different seasons.

× I usually take places from literally everywhere I go, but that's a bonus if the place has a scenery.

✓ I usually take pictures in literally every place I go, but it's a bonus if a place has a nice view.

The student used incorrect noun 'places' with 'take' (should be 'take pictures') and awkward pronouns/articles. 'Everywhere I go' becomes 'every place I go' for clarity. 'That's a bonus' changes to 'it's a bonus' for natural reference to the situation; 'a scenery' is incorrect—use 'a nice view' or 'scenery' without an article. Suggestion: say 'take pictures in every place I go' and use 'view' or uncountable 'scenery' appropriately.

× I think both of them has its own beauty.

✓ I think both of them have their own beauty.

Subject 'both of them' is plural and requires plural verb 'have' not 'has'. Also 'its' should be 'their' to match plural antecedent. Suggestion: match plural subjects with plural verbs and plural possessive pronouns.

× I like to capture both of them, but it also has its differences, which is a part of their own beauty.

✓ I like to capture both, but they also have differences, which are part of their beauty.

Pronouns and verbs must agree: 'both' or 'both of them' is plural so use 'they' and 'have'. 'It also has' is incorrect for plural antecedent. 'Which is a part of their own beauty' should be plural 'are part of their beauty' and 'own' is redundant. Suggestion: keep subjects and verbs in number agreement and avoid unnecessary 'own'.

× And for example, in rural areas, there you can photograph the lives of the living creatures other than here.

✓ For example, in rural areas you can photograph the lives of animals, unlike here.

Phrase 'there you can' is awkward and wordy. 'The lives of the living creatures' is redundant; use 'animals'. 'Other than here' is unnatural; use 'unlike here' or 'more than here'. Suggestion: simplify structure and choose natural prepositions/contrast words: 'unlike here'.

× Again, both of them have their own differences and their own beauty, but of course the countries and places that you never visited were more interesting to capture.

✓ Again, both have their differences and their own beauty, but of course countries and places you have never visited are more interesting to capture.

'Both of them' can be shortened to 'both'; 'that you never visited' mixes tense and sounds informal—use present perfect 'you have never visited' because it refers to life experience. 'Were more interesting' incorrectly uses past tense; use present 'are more interesting' because the preference is general. Suggestion: use present perfect for experiences and present tense for general statements.

× So I think in other countries it's a bit more interesting, but I really enjoy doing it in my own country too.

✓ So I think other countries are a bit more interesting, but I really enjoy doing it in my own country too.

'In other countries it's a bit more interesting' uses singular 'it's' incorrectly to refer to plural 'other countries'; use 'they are' or recast as 'other countries are'. Suggestion: ensure pronouns and verbs agree in number with their referents.