视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and structured: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (use examples and avoid filler words). Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same idea. Also replace vague words like “falls, something like this” with the correct term (e.g., waterfalls) and remove hesitations.

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, I often shoot mountain ridges and rivers because I love outdoor adventures; waterfalls are my favorite subject since they create dramatic compositions and motion in photos.

建議: Answer directly and give a clear reason with one supporting detail. Avoid awkward phrasing like “As a kind of person” and repetition. Use a linking phrase to explain why your preference exists.

範例: I prefer urban areas because they offer diverse architecture and vibrant street scenes. For instance, city skylines and busy markets provide interesting subjects and contrast for my photos.

建議: Start with a direct statement, then give two specific, well-linked reasons. Be more precise and avoid long, unclear clauses. Use linking words (for example, because, for instance) and correct grammar (e.g., Philippines -> the Philippines).

範例: I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has surprisingly diverse landscapes. For example, you can find many waterfalls and mountain ranges, and the local cultures add unique sights and photo opportunities.

× I love taking pictures with different views, for example, mountains, rivers, and I really love, uh, falls, something like this because I'm kind of adventurous type and I love taking pictures of the mountains ridges and yeah, that's it.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views, for example mountains, rivers, and waterfalls, because I'm the adventurous type and I also love taking pictures of mountain ridges.

Overuse and inconsistent phrasing of 'taking pictures with different views' is unnatural; 'taking pictures of different views' is correct. 'Falls' should be 'waterfalls' (noun form). 'Adventurous type' needs the definite article 'the'. 'Mountains ridges' should be 'mountain ridges' (noun modifier + noun). Use parallel structure to improve clarity. Suggestion: Use 'taking pictures of' + noun, use 'waterfalls' not 'falls' in this context, add 'the' before 'adventurous type', and use singular noun as modifier: 'mountain ridges'.

× As a kind of person, I usually prefer. Urban areas, because I live in a province and I'm kind of an adventurous type. Yeah, I prefer urban areas.

✓ As a person, I usually prefer urban areas because I live in a province and I'm the adventurous type. Yes, I prefer urban areas.

Sentence fragments and awkward phrasing: 'As a kind of person, I usually prefer.' is incomplete. 'As a person' is clearer. 'I'm kind of an adventurous type' should use 'the' for natural English. Combine fragments into one complete sentence for fluency. Suggestion: Remove sentence fragments, use 'As a person' and 'the adventurous type', and combine clauses into one sentence.

× I'm the kind of person that I really love my country.

✓ I'm the kind of person who really loves my country.

Relative clause error: use 'who' to refer to a person, not 'that' followed by a second subject 'I'. Also adjust verb to agree with subject: 'the kind of person who really loves' rather than 'I really love'. Suggestion: Use 'who' for people and keep one subject in the clause: 'I'm the kind of person who really loves my country.'

× I really prefer views in my own country because Philippines has a lot of views that you cannot be expecting that this kind of view is like here there were many waterfalls, you can see many cultures and you can see many mountains around it and it's nice.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because the Philippines has many sights you might not expect, such as numerous waterfalls, diverse cultures, and many surrounding mountains; it's beautiful.

Several issues: 'Philippines' needs the definite article 'the'. 'Has a lot of views' is unnatural—use 'has many sights' or 'many beautiful places'. 'You cannot be expecting' is incorrect tense and phrasing; use 'you might not expect'. The original is wordy and run-on; break into clearer parts and use appropriate quantifier 'many' instead of 'a lot of' for formal clarity. Suggestion: Use 'the Philippines', replace 'views' with 'sights' or 'places', use 'might not expect', and avoid run-on sentences by using punctuation and concise phrases.