旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be clearer and more concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct grammar mistakes, and avoid redundancy. Use one linking phrase to add a specific supporting detail (for example, mention what you notice: landmarks or signs). Keep it under five sentences.

範例: Yes. I always look out the window when I travel by bus or taxi because I often feel dizzy if I stare inside. In addition, watching the streets and landmarks helps me learn the route and remember street names, so I can recognise where I am.

建議: Good structure and clarity. Improve by using a clearer topic sentence and one concise reason with a linking word. Replace vague phrases like "as a memory" with more precise wording (e.g., "as a souvenir" or "to remember the place").

範例: Not usually in Hong Kong because I already know the streets. However, when I travel abroad, for example to Japan or Australia, I always take photos of the streets and scenery to keep as souvenirs and to remember the atmosphere of each place.

建議: Make the main preference clearer in one sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "the sea is able to" -> "the sea gives me"). Avoid casual phrases like "water person"—use "I enjoy water activities."

範例: I prefer the sea to the mountains. I enjoy water activities such as swimming and snorkeling, and the sea gives me a calm, relaxing feeling, so I always choose coastal destinations for my holidays.

× Yes, I always look out the window when I'm riding bus or taxi since I often get dizzy when I look at my and this actually helps me familiarize with the route as well as the street name outside which make me able to recognise the place that I'm in.

✓ Yes, I always look out the window when I'm riding a bus or a taxi, since I often get dizzy if I close my eyes, and this actually helps me familiarize myself with the route as well as the street names outside, which make me able to recognize the place I'm in.

Multiple issues: missing articles before 'bus' and 'taxi' (article errors, ID 22), incorrect phrase 'when I look at my' seems incomplete and likely meant 'if I close my eyes' (sentence structure error, ID 26), missing reflexive pronoun 'myself' after 'familiarize' (incorrect reflexive pronoun use, ID 15), 'street name' should be plural 'street names' (singular/plural issue, ID 1), and 'which make me able to recognise' should agree with plural 'street names' and be more natural as 'which make me able to recognize the place I'm in' (subject-verb agreement, ID 27 and sentence structure, ID 26). Suggestions: add articles 'a', replace unclear fragment with clear clause, use 'familiarize myself', pluralize 'street names', and simplify the final clause for natural English.

× I would not take photos during the ride in Hong Kong since I'm familiar with the streets outside.

✓ I don't take photos during rides in Hong Kong because I'm familiar with the streets.

The original uses 'would not' which suggests conditional or habitual past; the present habitual is better expressed with 'don't' (modal verb/tense issue, ID 4 and ID 6). Also 'the ride' should be plural 'rides' or no article (article/quantifier issue, ID 22/14). Suggestion: use present simple 'don't take' for regular habits and pluralize 'rides'.

× However, whenever I'm traveling outside of Hong Kong, such as in Japan or Australia, I will always take pictures of the streets because I want to keep it as a memory.

✓ However, whenever I travel outside Hong Kong, for example to Japan or Australia, I always take pictures of the streets because I want to keep them as memories.

Use present simple 'travel' and 'take' for habitual actions rather than progressive or future 'I'm traveling'/'will' (present tense issue, ID 6). Pronoun 'it' should agree with plural 'pictures' so use 'them' and 'memories' plural (pronoun and singular/plural issues, ID 12 and ID 1). Also 'such as in' is awkward; 'for example to' is clearer (preposition use, ID 11). Suggestions: use present simple for habits and match pronouns and number to nouns.

× If I have to choose between these two, I would always prefer the sea instead of mountain because I'm a water person, but that means any activity related to water such as swimming, I love it.

✓ If I had to choose between the two, I would always prefer the sea instead of the mountain because I'm a water person; I love any activity related to water, such as swimming.

Multiple problems: conditional phrasing 'If I have to choose' should be 'If I had to choose' for hypothetical preference (tense/modal issue, ID 7/4), 'the sea instead of mountain' needs 'the' before 'mountain' (article error, ID 22), awkward word order and punctuation in the second clause. 'Any activity... I love it' repeats subject and pronoun unnecessarily; it should be 'I love any activity...' (sentence structure, ID 26). Suggestions: use past subjunctive for hypothetical choice, include articles, and reorder the sentence for clarity.

× Moreover, the sea able to bring me a calm vibe which I enjoy a lot.

✓ Moreover, the sea is able to give me a calm feeling, which I greatly enjoy.

Missing verb 'is' (sentence without a verb/structure error, ID 23 and ID 26). 'Bring me a calm vibe' is informal; use 'give me a calm feeling' or 'create a calm atmosphere' and 'enjoy a lot' should be 'greatly enjoy' (incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs, ID 13). Suggestions: add the verb 'is', choose more natural collocations ('calm feeling' or 'calm atmosphere'), and use appropriate adverb placement.

× That's why I would choose the sea.

✓ That's why I would choose the sea.

Sentence is grammatically correct. No change needed. Explanation: This sentence correctly expresses a hypothetical preference and follows from the previous statements; keep as is.