旅行— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve grammatical accuracy and clarity. Start with a direct topic sentence, avoid filler words, and use correct verb forms and sentence structure. Use one or two supporting details with linking words. Be specific about what you see and how it makes you feel.

範例: Yes, I usually look out the window when I travel by bus or car. I often see mountains and small towns near my hometown, so I enjoy watching the changing landscapes because they are peaceful and interesting.

建議: Reduce repetition and improve coherence. Give a clear topic sentence, then explain why you take photos using linking words like 'because' or 'so'. Provide a specific example of what you photograph.

範例: Yes, I often take photos and short videos when I travel because they help me remember the places I visit. For example, I usually photograph mountain views and wide plains to look back on later.

建議: Give a concise direct answer and support it with clear reasons. Use correct articles and plural forms and avoid redundant phrases. Mention one or two specific reasons why you prefer mountains and link them logically.

範例: I prefer the mountains because Nepal is surrounded by the Himalayas, so mountains are familiar and impressive to me. I enjoy hiking and the fresh air, and I appreciate the dramatic scenery the mountains offer.

× Yes, of course, I seen the spew while traveling by bus or car because, uh, because, uh, my home hometown is in a business area.

✓ Yes, of course, I saw the view while traveling by bus or car because my hometown is in a busy area.

The verb 'seen' is the past participle and requires an auxiliary (have/has) to be correct; the simple past 'saw' should be used here. Also 'spew' is a misspelling of 'view' and 'home hometown' is redundant; 'busy' is the appropriate adjective for 'area.' Suggestion: use simple past 'saw' for completed past actions and proofread for word choice and redundancy.

× I travel a lot of place in their sites and they're, they're beautiful mountains are look from the window of the buses and car It's.

✓ I travel to many places with beautiful sights, and you can see mountains from the windows of buses and cars.

The original sentence has incorrect word order, incorrect pluralization, and mixed fragments. 'Travel a lot of place' should be 'travel to many places'; 'their sites' likely intended 'sights'; 'they're, they're beautiful mountains are look' mixes contractions and passive forms incorrectly. Suggestion: simplify into two clauses with correct nouns and verbs: 'travel to many places with beautiful sights' and 'you can see mountains from the windows of buses and cars.'

× Yes, of course I take some photos and sceneries while while traveling traveling because uh, photo and photo photo and videos are remaining in the books and it it memorize us where we visit.

✓ Yes, of course I take some photos and videos while traveling because photos and videos remain as memories of the places we visit.

The sentence has word repetition and awkward phrasing. Use present simple 'take' for habitual actions. 'Sceneries' is nonstandard; use 'scenes' or 'views' or simply 'photos and videos.' 'Are remaining in the books' is incorrect—use 'remain as memories' or 'help us remember.' Suggestion: remove repetitions and use standard collocations like 'remain as memories' or 'help us remember where we have been.'

× So I take all out of photos and videos while traveling.

✓ So I take lots of photos and videos while traveling.

The phrase 'take all out of photos' is ungrammatical. Use the quantifier 'lots of' or 'many' with the plural noun 'photos.' The gerund 'traveling' correctly indicates the time of the action. Suggestion: use 'take lots of photos and videos' for natural expression.

× Mountains and plain rain.

✓ There are mountains and plains, and sometimes it rains.

The fragment lacks a verb and clear meaning. It's unclear whether the speaker meant 'plains' or 'it rains.' To correct, add a verb and clarify: 'There are mountains and plains, and sometimes it rains.' Suggestion: form a complete sentence with subject and verb.

× I prefer a mountain because Nepal is a landlocked country and surrounded by Himalayas and mountains.

✓ I prefer the mountains because Nepal is a landlocked country surrounded by the Himalayas.

Use 'the mountains' to refer generally to mountain landscapes. 'Surrounded by Himalayas' needs the definite article 'the Himalayas.' Also 'a mountain' is odd when speaking of preferring mountain landscapes in general. Suggestion: use 'the mountains' and 'the Himalayas.'

× There is no any sea or big big rivers and in my country there are almost eight highest amount highest mountains all over the world.

✓ There are no seas or large rivers, and my country has almost eight of the highest mountains in the world.

'There is no any' is incorrect; use 'there are no' with plural nouns. 'Big big' is redundant; use 'large.' 'Almost eight highest amount highest mountains' is ungrammatical—use 'almost eight of the highest mountains in the world' or 'nearly eight of the world's highest mountains.' Suggestion: correct quantifier usage and word order: 'there are no seas' and 'has nearly eight of the world's highest mountains.'