建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words (uh, you know) and correct subject-verb agreement and word choice (e.g., 'paddy fields' → 'paddy fields' is fine but use lowercase and 'green' areas as 'greenery').

範例: Not really. I live a little outside the city, so there are no tall skyscrapers nearby. Instead, the area is surrounded by paddy fields and lots of greenery, which makes it quiet and fresh.

建議: Give a direct topic sentence and then specific examples with correct grammar. Remove redundancy and filler phrases. Use linking words (for example, especially) to make it coherent and limit to 3–4 sentences.

範例: Not really. I prefer photographing nature; for example, I often take photos of waterfalls, rivers and the sea. I enjoy capturing natural scenes because they feel more peaceful and dynamic than buildings.

建議: Clarify your meaning and correct factual and grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the building, avoid incorrect phrases like 'to buy' or 'I've ever built', and give a brief reason. Keep it concise and fluent.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is the tallest building in the world. I am curious about the view from the top and the building's impressive architecture.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and a couple of specific reasons with linking words. Avoid repetition and filler phrases; use precise vocabulary (e.g., 'live close to nature', 'peaceful environment').

範例: No, I wouldn't. I prefer living outside the city close to nature because it is quieter and cleaner. For example, I enjoy walking in fields and listening to birds, which helps me relax.

× ...but there's no taller building, uh, such as in the city.

✓ ...but there are no taller buildings, like those in the city.

The original sentence has two issues: article/use of 'there is' with plural (should be 'there are') and 'taller building' vs plural 'buildings' when comparing with city buildings. Use 'there are' for plural existence and 'like those in the city' is a natural comparison phrase.

× So our place are surrounded by a lot of Paddy fields and a lot of, uh, you know, greenery areas.

✓ So our place is surrounded by a lot of paddy fields and lots of green areas.

Subject 'our place' is singular, so use singular verb 'is' rather than 'are'. Also 'Paddy fields' should be lowercase 'paddy fields' and 'greenery areas' is unnatural; 'green areas' or 'greenery' is better. Use 'lots of' for more natural phrasing.

× What I do like is, you know, I want to take the some, you know, photos about the nature like waterfalls, rivers, sea.

✓ What I do like is taking photos of nature, like waterfalls, rivers, and the sea.

Remove the incorrect article 'the some' and use the gerund 'taking' for activities. Use 'photos of nature' not 'photos about the nature'. Include 'the' before 'sea' for natural features when specific.

× Those kind of things are like the most interesting viewpoints of my, uh, photographs.

✓ Those kinds of things are the most interesting subjects of my photographs.

Use 'kinds' plural to agree with 'those'. 'Viewpoints of my photographs' is awkward; 'subjects of my photographs' is a clearer collocation. No extra 'like' needed.

× So I would love to take those kind of things instead of taking photos.

✓ So I would love to take those kinds of photos instead of taking photos of buildings.

Original sentence ends ambiguously; clarify by specifying 'those kinds of photos' and contrast 'photos of buildings'. Also plural 'kinds' to match 'those'.

× I would love to visit, uh, to buy Burj Khalifa, which is the tallest building that I've ever built in on the on the earth.

✓ I would love to visit the Burj Khalifa, which is the tallest building on earth.

Remove incorrect 'to buy' and repeated prepositions 'in on the on the'. Use definite article 'the Burj Khalifa'. 'On earth' is the correct prepositional phrase; 'I've ever built' is wrong because the speaker did not build it.

× So I would really love to visit that one day. So if I had a chance.

✓ I would really love to visit it one day if I had the chance.

Combine the fragments into one complete conditional sentence. 'If I had a chance' is a sentence fragment; include it as a subordinate clause and use 'the chance' for natural phrasing.

× My dream place was to live in, in somewhere like, you know, away from the City side.

✓ My dream is to live somewhere away from the city.

Use present tense 'is' for a general dream. Remove repeated 'in' and awkward 'City side'; use lowercase 'city'. 'Somewhere away from the city' is concise and natural.

× I want to live in, live with the nature.

✓ I want to live with nature.

Omit the unnecessary 'in' and 'the'; 'live with nature' or 'live close to nature' are natural collocations.

× I want to experience the nature. I want to smell that, you know, you know that.

✓ I want to experience nature. I want to smell it and enjoy it.

Drop 'the' before 'nature'. 'Smell that, you know, you know that' is repetitive and unclear; replace with 'smell it and enjoy it' to express the idea clearly.