建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 話の冒頭で簡潔に結論を述べ、その後で1〜2文で具体的な理由や例を述べると良いです。繰り返し（"not not really"、"that that"）や不要な曖昧表現を避け、自然な語順と正しい語彙（"rural area"や"surrounded by nature"）を使いましょう。文は最大5文におさめ、接続語（例えば"however"や"but"）で流れをよくします。

範例: Not really. I live in a rural area surrounded by forests, so there are no tall man-made buildings nearby. If you include tall trees, you could say the landscape is quite elevated, but in terms of artificial structures there aren't any.

建議: はっきりした主張（Yes/No）を最初に置き、理由と1つの具体例を短く述べると良いです。冗長なフレーズ（"I don't really"を何度も使う）を減らし、比較表現は正しい語順で（"I prefer relaxed nature to bustling cities"）使いましょう。接続語（"because", "however", "for example"）で論理を整えます。

範例: Not really. I prefer photographing natural scenes to urban ones because I like peaceful landscapes more than bustling city life. However, I would take photos of very iconic buildings, for example Tokyo Tower, if I visited them.

建議: 最初に簡潔な応答（"Yes, the Eiffel Tower."）を述べ、その後で理由を1〜2文で具体的に説明しましょう。繰り返しや不明瞭な語（"that that", "some some in in"）を避け、正しい語彙と文法（"one of the most famous landmarks in the world"）を使います。例や感情（"I've always wanted to see its view"）を添えると良いです。

範例: Yes, the Eiffel Tower. It's one of the most famous landmarks in the world, and I've always wanted to see its views over Paris. I think it represents remarkable engineering and cultural history, so visiting it would be very memorable.

建議: 結論を先に述べ（"No, I wouldn't"）、その後で理由を2つまで明確に示しましょう。文法の改善（"because we have earthquakes in Japan"、"I would feel anxious"、"tall buildings tend to be expensive"）や冗長表現の削減が必要です。接続詞（"first", "second"）を使って理由を整理すると聞き手に伝わりやすいです。

範例: No, I wouldn't want to live in a tall building. First, frequent earthquakes in Japan would make me feel anxious about living high above the ground. Second, apartments in tall buildings are usually expensive, so they would be unaffordable for me.

× Not not really, because currently I'm living in rural place and all the way around is surrounded by nature and if you count it like tall trees, maybe that that can be saved. But when it comes to artificial building, there are no tall artificial buildings near my home.

✓ Not really, because I'm currently living in a rural area and everything around me is surrounded by nature; if you count tall trees, maybe those can be considered tall. But when it comes to artificial buildings, there are no tall ones near my home.

The student uses incorrect noun phrases and tense constructions. Use 'I'm currently living' or simply 'I currently live' for present continuous/state, 'a rural area' for correct noun phrase, 'everything around me' for clarity, and 'those' to refer to plural 'trees'. Change 'artificial building' to plural 'artificial buildings' and 'no tall ones' for concise reference. Suggestion: simplify sentences, ensure correct articles and plural pronouns, and maintain consistent present tense.

× Not really, because I more prefer to take a picture of nature because I don't really like bustling cities rather than like relaxed nature.

✓ Not really, because I prefer taking pictures of nature; I don't like bustling cities and I prefer relaxed natural settings.

The phrase 'I more prefer' is ungrammatical; use 'I prefer' or 'I tend to prefer'. 'Take a picture of nature' becomes 'taking pictures of nature' for natural phrasing. 'Rather than like' is incorrect; use 'and I prefer' or 'rather than'. Suggestion: use 'prefer' plus gerund for activities and avoid redundant 'really'.

× So I don't really take a photo of buildings.

✓ So I don't usually take photos of buildings.

'A photo' implies a single instance; general habit takes plural 'photos' or 'a photo' with context. 'Really' is informal; 'usually' better expresses frequency. Suggestion: use plural for habitual actions and choose adverbs that match intended meaning.

× On the other hand, if that was very iconic buildings such as Tokyo Tower or something like that, I would take it.

✓ On the other hand, if they were very iconic buildings such as Tokyo Tower, I would take photos of them.

Condition requires subjunctive 'if they were' for hypothetical plural, not 'was'. 'Buildings' is plural so use 'they' and 'photos of them' rather than 'take it'. Suggestion: match number between subject and pronoun and use correct conditional form.

× I will say Eiffel Tower is one of the tower I want to visit in future because that I think that that is the one of the famous tower out.

✓ I would say the Eiffel Tower is one of the towers I want to visit in the future because I think it is one of the most famous buildings in the world.

Use conditional 'I would say' for opinion, add definite article 'the' before 'Eiffel Tower', use plural 'towers' to match 'one of', and 'in the future' is the correct phrase. Replace 'the one of the famous tower out' with 'one of the most famous buildings in the world.' Suggestion: use articles correctly, pluralize after 'one of', and use idiomatic expressions.

× I mean artificial building across the world and I think that is very iconic things for mankind.

✓ I mean artificial buildings around the world, and I think they are very iconic for humanity.

'Artificial building' should be plural 'buildings'; 'across the world' is better as 'around the world'. 'That is very iconic things' mixes singular and plural; use 'they are very iconic'. 'Mankind' can be replaced by 'humanity' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: ensure pronoun-antecedent agreement and consistent number.

× So I want to visit there some some in in.

✓ So I want to visit there someday.

The sentence contains repetitions and unclear phrasing. 'Visit there someday' is concise and natural. Suggestion: avoid stuttering and extra words; use adverb 'someday' to indicate unspecified future time.

× I think that is not desirable for me because of two reasons.

✓ I don't think that is desirable for me for two reasons.

'I think that is not desirable for me' is acceptable but more natural is 'I don't think that is desirable for me.' Also combine 'because of two reasons' into 'for two reasons.' Suggestion: prefer more natural collocations and concise phrasing.

× 1 is that we have since we have earthquake in Japan and that that will be frequently occur.

✓ First, we have earthquakes in Japan, and they occur frequently.

Use plural 'earthquakes' for general phenomenon. 'We have since we have' is redundant. 'That will be frequently occur' is ungrammatical; use 'they occur frequently' or 'they happen frequently.' Suggestion: state points clearly, use plural for general occurrences, and choose correct verb forms.

× So that will be very anxious and also tall building tend to be very expensive.

✓ So that makes me very anxious, and tall buildings also tend to be very expensive.

'That will be very anxious' wrongly uses adjective 'anxious' for situation; use 'makes me anxious'. 'Tall building' should be plural 'tall buildings' and 'tend' must agree: 'tend to be'. Suggestion: express emotional reactions with 'make' + person + adjective and ensure noun plurality and verb agreement.

× So I think that's not affordable for me, for me.

✓ So I think that's not affordable for me.

Remove duplicate 'for me'. 'That's not affordable for me' is correct. Suggestion: avoid repetition; ensure sentence is concise.