建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more accurate and natural: correct grammar (subject-verb agreement, articles), avoid odd phrases, and keep within 3–4 concise sentences. Add a clear topic sentence, then one specific supporting detail with a linking word. Use precise vocabulary (e.g., “coffee shops,” “within walking distance”).

範例: Yes. I live in Beijing, so there are many tall buildings near my home, such as apartment blocks and shopping malls. Because of this concentration, the area is very busy but also extremely convenient. For example, I can reach shops and restaurants within a five-minute walk.

建議: Improve vocabulary accuracy and fluency, avoid awkward or incorrect collocations (e.g., “sticky colors”). Use one linking word to connect reason, and give a brief example of what counts as ‘special’. Keep answer natural and under five sentences.

範例: Not really. I only take photos of buildings that stand out, for example when a building has an unusual shape or striking colours. Because of these features, it looks visually appealing, so I’d photograph it to remember the design.

建議: Clarify the building name and correct numerous grammar and word-choice errors. Use a clear topic sentence naming the place, then give two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., “because,” “also”). Remove unclear words like “Unicorn design” unless you mean a specific architectural feature—use accurate terms (e.g., “round layout,” “central courtyard”).

範例: I would like to visit the Fujian tulou in southeast China. These traditional earthen buildings have a round layout with many families living around a central courtyard, so I want to see how daily life is organised inside. I am also curious about how they were constructed and how residents share communal resources.

建議: Fix word choice and article use (e.g., ‘bungalow’, not ‘Bangalore’) and improve coherence with linking words (e.g., “but”/“however”). Start with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give one clear reason and a brief example. Keep language concise and natural.

範例: I don’t have a strong preference between a tall building and a bungalow; it depends on the design and space. For example, I prefer homes with large rooms and plenty of natural light, so a well-designed apartment or a spacious bungalow would both suit me.

× Yes, I live in Beijing so there are many tall buildings near my home, including apartment blocks, shopping malls and the popular coffees.

✓ Yes, I live in Beijing so there are many tall buildings near my home, including apartment blocks, shopping malls and popular cafes.

The noun 'coffees' is incorrect in this context; it refers to drinks rather than places. Use 'cafes' (or 'coffee shops') to refer to establishments. Also remove 'the' before 'popular' because it's a general list of examples. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× This concentration of buildings make the area quite busy, but it extremely convenient because everything I need is facing walking distance.

✓ This concentration of buildings makes the area quite busy, but it is extremely convenient because everything I need is within walking distance.

Subject 'This concentration' is singular, so the verb should be 'makes' not 'make' (subject-verb agreement). 'It extremely convenient' lacks the verb 'is'. 'Facing walking distance' is incorrect phrasing; the correct idiom is 'within walking distance.' Grammar problem type ID: 27

× Not really. I don't usually take pictures of buildings unless a building is very special.

✓ Not really. I don't usually take pictures of buildings unless a building is very special.

No grammatical errors that match the listed problem types; sentence is correct as is, so no change is necessary. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× If it has an unusual shape, sticky colors, all interesting architecture, I would take photos because those features make it visually appealing.

✓ If it has an unusual shape, striking colors, or interesting architecture, I would take photos because those features make it visually appealing.

'Sticky colors' is incorrect; the intended adjective is likely 'striking' (meaning noticeable or impressive). Use 'or' to list alternatives and remove 'all' which is unnecessary. This improves meaning and parallel structure. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× I'd like to visit the Fujian Tool in Southeast China.

✓ I'd like to visit the Fujian Tulou in southeast China.

The place name is 'Fujian Tulou' (not 'Tool'). 'Southeast China' can be written in lowercase as 'southeast China' in this sentence; more importantly, correct the proper noun spelling. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× Those traditional earthen buildings have a distinctive circle layout where many families live together in a common complex and I want to see their Unicorn design and I learn about their daily life inside.

✓ Those traditional earthen buildings have a distinctive circular layout where many families live together in a common complex, and I want to see their unique designs and learn about their daily life inside.

Use 'circular' instead of 'circle' (adjective form). 'Unicorn design' is incorrect word choice; likely 'unique design(s)'. Parallel verbs require 'learn' (not 'I learn' mid-sentence); combine with 'want to... and learn' for parallelism. Use plural 'designs' if referring to various features. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I also interested in how they were built and how the community shares. Base and the resources.

✓ I am also interested in how they were built and how the community shares space and resources.

Missing auxiliary verb: 'I also interested' should be 'I am also interested' (verb 'to be' required). 'How the community shares' is incomplete; specify what is shared (space and resources). 'Base and the resources' is a fragment and unclear; combine into a single complete clause. Grammar problem type ID: 23

× I don't mind either, I can live in a tall building or in a bungalow.

✓ I don't mind either; I can live in a tall building or in a bungalow.

Comma splice: two independent clauses joined by a comma. Use a semicolon or a period to separate them. Grammar type: sentence structure. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× So a well designed apartment or a spacious Bangalore would both be fine.

✓ So a well-designed apartment or a spacious bungalow would both be fine.

'Bangalore' is a city name and incorrect here; the intended word is 'bungalow' (a type of single-storey house). Also add a hyphen in 'well-designed' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. Grammar problem type ID: 13