建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is clear and relevant, but it is slightly repetitive (you say 'rural' and 'suburban' conflictingly and repeat 'surrounded by' ideas). Be concise: state the main point, then add one specific supporting detail. Use a linking word to connect ideas and avoid contradiction.

範例: Not really. I live in a rural area surrounded by farmland, so there are no tall buildings nearby. However, when I visit the nearest town, I sometimes see a few low apartment blocks.

建議: Good content and clear reasons. Reduce repetition (you restate being rural several times) and tighten sentences. Use one linking word to show cause and one specific example of a building or style you like to photograph.

範例: Yes. When I visit a big city, I often photograph notable buildings because I find their architecture unusual. For example, I took many pictures of the glass skyscrapers in downtown Chicago last year.

建議: The answer conveys enthusiasm and personal reason, which is good, but language has errors ('addicted with', awkward phrases like 'top life expectations'). Be natural: give a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons (connection to book, views) and avoid slang. Keep it concise and correct verb forms.

範例: Yes, I'd love to visit the Empire State Building in Manhattan because it features in one of my favourite book series. Also, I want to see the city views from the observation deck and take some photos.

建議: You answer directly and give reasons, which is good. However, avoid contradictions and repetitions ('safer, safer'), capitalisation errors, and overly long sentences. Use one linking word to add a reason and provide a concrete example of a benefit (e.g., convenience or views).

範例: Yes, I would. Having lived in the city for university, I like the idea of living in a high-rise because it offers excellent views and easy access to shops and public transport.

× I live in a quiet rural area, so unfortunately there aren't any tall buildings near my home.

✓ I live in a quiet rural area, so unfortunately there aren't any tall buildings near my home.

No change needed; sentence is correct. (No article error present.)

× I live in a suburban place surrounded by farmland and agricultural fields, so it's rare for me to see buildings at all.

✓ I live in a suburban area surrounded by farmland, so it's rare for me to see buildings at all.

The phrase 'suburban place' is awkward; 'suburban area' is more natural. 'Farmland and agricultural fields' is redundant because both phrases mean the same; choose one. This improves clarity and conciseness.

× When I'm in a big city visiting as a tourist, I do take photos of buildings because of how unique they are to me.

✓ When I'm visiting a big city as a tourist, I take photos of buildings because I find them unique.

Reordering to 'visiting a big city as a tourist' is more natural. 'Do take' is unnecessary emphatic present tense; simple present 'take' is preferred. 'Because of how unique they are to me' is wordy; 'because I find them unique' is clearer.

× As mentioned before, I live in a rural area so I'm not surrounded by a lot of buildings.

✓ As mentioned before, I live in a rural area, so I'm not surrounded by many buildings.

Add a comma before 'so' to join independent clauses. Use 'many' with countable plural 'buildings' instead of 'a lot of' for slightly more formal and concise phrasing.

× So when I go to a city that I'm visiting and they are new experiences, I take photos of them for memories.

✓ So when I visit a city for the first time, I take photos to keep as memories.

'Go to a city that I'm visiting' is redundant; 'visit a city' suffices. 'They are new experiences' is awkward referring to 'cities' as experiences; rephrase to 'for the first time'. 'Take photos of them for memories' is vague; 'take photos to keep as memories' is clearer.

× I would one day like to visit Manhattan's Empire State Building.

✓ I would like to visit Manhattan's Empire State Building one day.

Move 'one day' to the end for more natural word order. Grammar is otherwise correct; this is a stylistic improvement related to modal 'would'.

× Ever since I was a child, I've been addicted with the Percy Jackson series, and if you're familiar with the series, you'd know how important that building is to that book.

✓ Ever since I was a child, I've been addicted to the Percy Jackson series, and if you're familiar with it, you know how important that building is in the books.

The correct preposition with 'addicted' is 'to' not 'with' (this is preposition error but listed under adjective/adverb uses). Replace 'that book' with 'the books' because Percy Jackson is a series (plural) and 'in the books' is the correct prepositional phrase. Change 'you'd know' to 'you know' for general truth.

× So it's always been one of those life, top life expectations I wanted to visit.

✓ So it's always been one of my top life goals to visit.

Original is ungrammatical and awkward. 'One of my top life goals' is a natural structure meaning the same. 'Expectations I wanted to visit' is incorrect; use 'goals to visit.'

× Although I grew up in a rural area, I would consider myself as a city girl since I did go to College in the city and personally I would want to live in a tall building.

✓ Although I grew up in a rural area, I would consider myself a city girl since I went to college in the city and would like to live in a tall building.

Remove 'as' after 'consider myself' — 'consider myself a city girl' is correct. 'College' should not be capitalized unless a specific institution is named. 'Did go to College' is unnecessary past emphasis; 'went to college' is natural. Use 'would like' instead of 'would want' for smoother phrasing.

× I feel like there are benefits to it such as having great vantage points and having safer, safer options during fires, so it is a dream home for me.

✓ I feel there are benefits, such as great vantage points and safer options during fires, so it would be a dream home for me.

Remove duplicate 'safer'. 'Feel like' can be simplified to 'feel' for formality. 'Having great vantage points and having safer options' is repetitive; omit the second 'having'. Use 'would be' to match the hypothetical sense of living there.