建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Fix unclear phrases (e.g., “right slow buildings”) and avoid repetition (walking distance / one or two minutes).

範例: Yes, there are several tall buildings near my home. For example, a shopping mall and a few residential towers are just a two-minute walk away, so I often visit them for shopping or meals.

建議: Provide a direct answer (yes/no), then give specific reasons and an example. Use linking words like "because" or "for example" to make your answer coherent. Avoid meta-comments like “Good job!”.

範例: Yes, I often take photos of buildings because I like their architectural details. For example, I enjoy photographing the curved glass facade of the nearby mall when the light reflects off it.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence naming the building and why you want to visit. Remove hesitations and correct pronouns. Provide one or two specific details about what interests you there, using linking words like "because" or "for instance".

範例: Yes, I would like to visit Mix 1, a nearby complex about ten minutes' walk from my home, because it has a large variety of shops and interesting cafes. For instance, I want to try a popular bakery there and see the rooftop garden.

建議: Start with a clear direct answer, then add two specific supporting reasons with linking words. Combine similar ideas to avoid repetition and use more natural phrases (e.g., "lots of natural light" rather than "gives me the sunshine").

範例: Yes, I would like to live in a tall building because it offers wide views of the city and plenty of natural light. In addition, being higher up feels peaceful and can make me feel cheerful.

× it only takes one or two minutes to get there.

✓ it only takes one or two minutes to get there.

No change needed. The sentence correctly uses plural 'minutes' with 'one or two minutes'; keep as is.

× At the same time, it also has a right slow buildings near my house, just like some apartment.

✓ At the same time, there are some rather small buildings near my house, such as some apartments.

The original sentence has several issues: incorrect use of 'it has' to refer to location (should use 'there are' for existence), incorrect adjective order and choice ('right slow' is ungrammatical; 'rather small' or 'quite small' is appropriate), and singular 'apartment' used where plural 'apartments' fits. Use 'there are' to indicate existence and plural for multiple buildings/apartments. Suggestion: say 'there are some rather small buildings near my house, such as apartments.'

× Umm, his name is Mix 1 and is near my house is within just 10 minutes to get there on foot.

✓ Umm, its name is Mix 1 and it is near my house; it is only a 10-minute walk away.

The original uses 'his' to refer to a building, which is incorrect; use 'its' or 'the' for inanimate objects. The structure is also awkward: 'and is near my house is within just 10 minutes' repeats verbs and mixes clauses. Rephrase to 'it is near my house; it is only a 10-minute walk away.' Also use '10-minute' as a compound adjective before 'walk' or 'a 10-minute walk away.'

× However, there are so many kinds of, uh, daily commodities there and you can buy anything.

✓ However, there are many kinds of daily commodities there and you can buy anything.

Remove 'so' before 'many kinds of' for more natural register; not strictly a grammatical error but 'so many kinds of, uh, daily commodities' has filler and punctuation issues. The noun 'commodities' is plural and correctly matched with 'many kinds of.' Suggest saying 'there are many kinds of daily commodities there.'

× I'm fond of living near tall buildings with wide views of scenery.

✓ I'm fond of living near tall buildings with wide views of the scenery.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'scenery' because a specific set of views is implied. Without 'the' it sounds less natural. Alternatively 'wide scenic views' could be used.

× At the same time, it makes me feel cheerful because it gives me the sunshine.

✓ At the same time, it makes me feel cheerful because it gives me sunshine.

'The sunshine' is unnecessary unless referring to a specific sunlight; 'sunshine' without the article is more natural. Also 'gives me sunshine' is slightly informal; consider 'lets in lots of sunshine' or 'provides a lot of natural light' for clarity.