建筑— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Reduce repetitions and tighten wording. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid stuttering and repeated words (e.g., 'I I'). Give one or two specific details and use a linking phrase. Pronounce the building name correctly and check facts (Denmark 81 is probably Landmark 81).

範例: Yes — there are many tall buildings near my home in Ho Chi Minh City. For example, Landmark 81, which is currently the tallest building in Vietnam, dominates the skyline, and several modern skyscrapers surround my neighborhood.

建議: Avoid fillers ('like', 'umm', 'uh') and use a concise structure: state your preference, then give a short reason and an example using a linking word. Use more precise vocabulary such as 'prefer' and 'portraits' or 'scenery'.

範例: Not usually. I prefer taking landscapes and portraits because I enjoy capturing natural scenes and people close to me, for example photos of my family at the beach.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition of the name. Add a brief reason and a linking word to expand logically. Be careful with absolute claims—say 'one of the tallest' or 'the tallest' if confident.

範例: Yes, I would like to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai because it is one of the tallest buildings in the world and offers impressive city views from its observation deck.

建議: Be more concise and avoid hesitations and repeated phrases. Provide two clear reasons linked logically (safety concerns and fear of heights). Use correct phrasing: 'inconvenient for me' should be 'not suitable' or 'difficult for me.'

範例: No, I wouldn't. First, evacuation during an emergency would worry me, and second, I have a fear of heights, so living high up would be uncomfortable and impractical.

× Since I I am living in Ho Chi Minh City, there are many skyscrapers near my home and especially Denmark 81 which is the tallest building in Vietnam right now.

✓ Since I live in Ho Chi Minh City, there are many skyscrapers near my home, especially Landmark 81, which is the tallest building in Vietnam right now.

Use simple present 'I live' rather than progressive 'I am living' for a permanent situation. Also remove duplicated 'I', add a comma before the nonrestrictive clause 'which is...', and correct the building name to 'Landmark 81'. Suggestion: Use simple present for facts or long-term states and proofread for repeated words.

× I usually don't because I prefer taking pictures of like, umm, landscapes and umm, people that, uh, are really close to me.

✓ I usually don't because I prefer taking pictures of landscapes and people who are really close to me.

The sentence contained filler words and an awkward relative clause. 'People who are really close to me' is clearer than 'people that are really close to me'; 'who' is preferred for people. Keep the gerund 'taking' after 'prefer' which is correct. Suggestion: Remove filler words and use 'who' for people in relative clauses.

× There is I want to visit the Burj Khalifa Burj Khalifa in Dubai, which is the tallest building on earth right now.

✓ Yes. I want to visit the Burj Khalifa in Dubai, which is the tallest building on earth right now.

The original mixes a filler 'There is' with the main statement causing a sentence structure error. Separating into a short affirmative 'Yes.' and the main clause makes it grammatical. Also remove duplicated name. Suggestion: Start with a simple response then state the detail; avoid repeating nouns.

× Actually I don't because, uh, whenever there is a fire or I want to get to the ground floor, I need to, I need to take a lot of time to get to the, the ground floor and also I have a fear of like height, so living in a tall building would not be inconvenient for me.

✓ Actually I don't because whenever there is a fire or I need to get to the ground floor, it takes a long time to get down, and I am afraid of heights, so living in a tall building would be inconvenient for me.

Replace 'I want to get' with 'I need to get' for intent in emergencies, and use 'it takes a long time' instead of repeated 'I need to take a lot of time'. Use 'afraid of heights' as the idiomatic expression. Also change 'would not be inconvenient' which is a double negative meaning the opposite; use 'would be inconvenient'. Suggestion: Use idiomatic phrases and avoid double negatives and repetition.